A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Why is marriage old news in UK now?? All the americans that have blogs online all seem to be married like real young (20s) and I swear hardly any people marry in the UK anymore. I actually feel like migrating to USA just because marriage is more popular over there and I really really want to fall in love and get married, as opposed to having many relationships that last up to a couple of years. Call me old fashioned but I believe having kids comes after getting married, not before and I just feel like I'm one of the only people in UK who think this. Why do Americans marry young and marry full stop?? I'm intrigued! I need a husband but men here just don't commit! I think the only people who take marriage, relationships etc seriously here are religious people... is it a case of there being more religious people in USA?? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2011): There is no rush for marriage if your going to be together forever anyway... It always amazes me people don't think of this!!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2011): That's because we American's are dumb ass's and are getting married too young and having babies young and then getting divorced. And all the other responsible people, who don't do that, have to pay for the messes that they create. It's not all that great.
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A
male
reader, serenity80 +, writes (3 August 2011):
I am in the UK, and my circle of friends are all getting married - and they are in their 30's. Statistically they have much, MUCH, more chance of staying together than people who marry in their teens and their 20's.
You are assuming that marriage = happily ever after. This is NOT the case. In todays world, it takes time to find the right person, and to both love and accept each other for who you actually are.
Don't make the mistake of thinking that just because you get married, that means life long commitment. People still cheat, lie and break up when they are married. It takes a more mature person, nowadays, to understand what true commitment is. You may also find that people who get married very young, are insecure and are looking for what they see as commitment, rather than a form of true love.
Don't sweat it, live a decent life and date guys who earn your trust, dump the guys who break it, and you will end up happy - I'm sure!
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (3 August 2011):
 Check out the rise in divorces and multiple marriages in the USA!
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (3 August 2011):
 Sorry this makes me laugh, you are 16-17 and you 'need' a husband?! No-one needs a husband at that age, not even in the US!
Yes you are right that in the far south of the US, religion is a lot stronger there and people do marry younger, and more people believe in marriage. But down there you also get people carrying guns out on the street, much more domestic violence, heavier drinking, racism and homophobia. As much as religion can mean people will be more likely to marry, those people who are relgious extremists as some southern US states are, they are not nice people and do an awful lot of terrible things in the name of 'religion'.
I am a 24 year old female who has lived in the UK my entire life. My best friend of the same age is getting married in 6 weeks time. I have many married friends, and I know plenty of couples who are discussing marriage and it is planned in the future. I dont know where you have this idea of no-one in the UK wants to get married any more, marriage is at an all time high over here. Experts believe this is because of the recession, that it is actually pushing people together and making them realise the value of marriage and the financial benefits that come with marriage. Saying marriage in the UK is on the decline is 100% factually incorrect.
I think your problem is wanting to get married so young, because boys around your age are going to run a mile if they were dating a girl who wanted to get married at 16! One of the biggest factors behind the high divorce rates is when people get married too young and too quickly. As a person you will do so much growing up and developing over the next 5 or more years, it is so foolish to get married any younger than 21. There will be Uni, careers, friends, social lives....countless opportunities that come your way over the next few years so comitting to someone when your life is so changeable is absurd, the only time you can really comitt is when you have decided to stay living in a certain area, you have decided upon your career and you have a stable job, when you are happy with your friends and family, when you have finished your education....so overall, marriage can only really happen when your life is nice and stable and settled.
I promise you, when you get older you will meet plenty of men that want to get married. And I can also promise you this - 99% of men never want kids outside of marriage, men are reluctant to have kids anyway so the ones that end up with kids before marriage are the ones stupid enough to not use a condom.
Every man that I have dated from the age of 15 has wanted to get married one day, yes they dont want to get married young, but once they hit the age of 25+ they will start to consider it.
So just be patient and dont obsess about getting married young, getting married at your age is just a recipe for divorce so wait until you are in your mid to late twenties and that will be a far more appropriate time to be thinking about marriage. In the mean time, date lots of guys, have boyfriends and have fun. You have a long life ahead of you, there is plenty of time for getting serious! You only have your teenage years once, whereas marriage lasts an incredibly long time, so make the most of your youth and freedom, these should be the best years of your life!
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2011): You don't have to move halfway across the world to find someone to tie the knot with, sweetie! Trust me, there are plenty of men in this country who genuinely want nothing more than a wife and family someday. It's true that on average people get married a bit later in Europe than in America; I think one reason could be because Americans tend to be rather more autonomous (i.e.: in Europe it's common to still be living with your parents well into your 20s, whereas stateside that doesn't seem to be the case). That doesn't mean marriage has been made completely redundant here though... don't believe everything you read in the news :)
You're still young and have years ahead of you to find a husband. Besides, you don't want to commit yourself *too* early - you need a little while yet to get some independent life experience first. Never feel under pressure from others to compromise your traditional values if you honestly believe that following them is the right thing for you to do. A thousand and one guys out there would give anything to find a girl like you. Good luck and take care x
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