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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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Did she think I was going to ask her out and that's why she said she had to get off the phone?
Q. "I gtg my mum is calling. . . nice chatting with you" Is this a standard polite way to brush someone off the phone? Theres this girl I met a couple of mths ago but only really started talking to her on fb two weeks back. I've had a 2 hr conv...
A. 12 October 2011: I think you have 2 options - either bite the bullet and ask her out so you know where you stand (you never know she might say yes!). Or the other option is what you have mentioned, wait for her to initiate the next contact and see what happens.
... (read in full...)
I'm 14 and planning on getting pregnant. How do I tell my dad?
Q. I'll be honest. I'm 14 and planning on getting pregnant. I've been with my boyfriend (19) for a while. He is going to propose and is okay with me getting pregnant. He wants a child as do I. I understand I am only a child. Yet I'm not. I...
A. 12 October 2011: Ok, in terms of health, here is why having a child under the age of 20 is a bad idea:
- Teenage mothers are less likely to gain adequate weight during their pregnancy, leading to low birthweight. Low birthweight is associated with several infant a... (read in full...)
Did she think I was going to ask her out and that's why she said she had to get off the phone?
Q. "I gtg my mum is calling. . . nice chatting with you" Is this a standard polite way to brush someone off the phone? Theres this girl I met a couple of mths ago but only really started talking to her on fb two weeks back. I've had a 2 hr conv...
A. 12 October 2011: I dont think it is a brush off, I'm sure it was genuine and her mum was calling so she needed to go to speak to her. I've had other calls that were important when I have been on the phone before so I had to go to take that call - simple as that.
... (read in full...)
Does alot of nagging lead to cheating?
Q. Do all guys cheat? Could a lot of nagging lead him cheating? Long dinstance? or what are some things that may lead a boyfriend to cheat?...
A. 12 October 2011: No, all guys dont cheat. That is like saying all women cheat - it is simply not true. Some people cheat, male or female, and others dont, it all depends on the person and the situation they are in. You cannot generalise and say ALL members of one ... (read in full...)
I'm in an open relationship. my friend's brother and I had sex. So why did'nt he reply after our great night?
Q. My husband and i agreed to an open relationship not too long ago after being married for 6 years. I met my friends brother at a club few days back. He was flirting with me, buying me drinks, dancing with me etc. I told him about my relation...
A. 11 October 2011: YouWish has hit the nail on the head - an open marriage/relationship is designed so that you have 1 (only 1) stable, committed parter and then you both can go out and have sex or a bit of fun without consequences. However it is not designed to allow ... (read in full...)
Sex for the 1st time was painful and now I think I'm angry and don't want to talk to my boyfriend!
Q. I had sex for the first time yesterday and it wasnt what i expected at all. It was PAINFUL and awkward... although my boyfriend is great and tried to make me feel extra comfortable i still felt uncomfortable. Now I dont feel like talking to him but ...
A. 11 October 2011: It is normal to be a bit upset about it being painful, you didnt enjoy the experience so you are not expected to be happy about it.
However it is WRONG to be angry at your boyfriend, it isnt his fault that it hurt! He did his best, and now you ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my friend I fancy her sister whom I've never met but have seen photos of?
Q. Hi. My problem is this. I was looking at the Facebook profile of an old school friend. While looking at her profile, I decided to look at her sister's profile. Her sister is gorgeous and I have a lot in common with her, but I have never met h...
A. 11 October 2011: In my opinion I dont think this is a very good idea - generally you dont hit on your friend's bothers/sisters, it is a bit like hitting on your ex's friend or friend's ex, something like that....you just dont go there.
For a start you only lik... (read in full...)
Online dating--am I being too push or too demanding?
Q. Hi cupids, I need help on this one. I am just too busy or tired to go out and meet guys. I'm in my late 20s, great career, well educated, in shape, and give 110 % to my kid. The last part obviously scares away a lot of men. So, a friend ...
A. 10 October 2011: Well how many days is a 'few' days? Have you been talking longer than a week? More than 2 weeks? Or is it under a week?
Generally with online dating, you email for a little while - this phase can last for a day to a couple of weels, everyone... (read in full...)
Long term crush sending mixed signals. Should I confront him?
Q. Well, there's a boy who I've liked off and on for basically my whole life. We've been good friends since elementary school, and even in 4th grade, I found him to be extremely sophisticated and charming. We're seniors in high school now, and though ...
A. 7 October 2011: There could be a million reasons why he is holding back - you need to confront him and find out how he really feels.
There are no real ways to do this other than simply ask him face to face! So when you are next hanging out together simply s... (read in full...)
When someone just wants sex, do they avoid affection like this?
Q. How does a man act if it's "just sex"? I've been seeing this man. We slept together once and since then I've tried not to see him, but I keep ending up seeing him and we kiss. We can never be together - there are so many reasons. Our situations i...
A. 7 October 2011: Ok so you had an affair, and now you are feeling guilty for lying to your partner and having sex with another man behind his back, so you want to make it 'ok' through the knowledge that he liked you.
Its only tormenting you because you have don... (read in full...)
When someone just wants sex, do they avoid affection like this?
Q. How does a man act if it's "just sex"? I've been seeing this man. We slept together once and since then I've tried not to see him, but I keep ending up seeing him and we kiss. We can never be together - there are so many reasons. Our situations i...
A. 7 October 2011: It does sound like he has feelings for you beyond 'just sex', he does sound very affectionate which is always a good sign.
However you said yourself you cant be with him, so there is no point in worrying about this anymore. You are only torturin... (read in full...)
Love my job, but! Married Boss is badgering me to have an affair. What's the best realistic thing to do in this situation?
Q. I have been at my job for about a 18 months. about 6 months ago, my married boss started badgering me for sex. I emphatically told him I wasnt interested because he had a wife. plus he is not my type-- although i couldnt say that to his face beca...
A. 7 October 2011: I would just ignore the text, and ignore any further advances he makes. I'm sure he will get bored soon, you have tried telling him to stop and clearly he didnt listen so try ignoring him from now on. Only speak to him when it is work related and be ... (read in full...)
If I was so repulsive then how can he not think that now?
Q. My spouse is 1/2 my age and had an affair with a woman closer to his age (actually his step daughter, my own child). I am 40 and durring his affair he told her, and his best friend and a few other people that touching me was disgusting. He ...
A. 7 October 2011: I agree with everyone else - this question is the least of your worries!
This man cheated on you with your DAUGHTER - why is he still in your life? Why on earth have you not kicked him to the curb? Regardless of whether or not he finds you attr... (read in full...)
How long should I wait to start looking for someone after a break up?
Q. How long should I wait to start looking for someone after a break up? I really don't want to be single and my ex does. Should I still wait a bit? Or is it okay to start looking?...
A. 7 October 2011: Well it all depends on how long you were together and how long it has been since you split up, and you havent mentioned this, so it is hard to say.
But as long as you feel 100% over your ex, and you are not looking for a new boyfriend purely b... (read in full...)
Help! Advice? Am I driving my daughter away? Am I being too controlling?
Q. My daughter will be 21 on her next birthday. She is a high achiever but also could be a handful at times. From the ages from 16 to 18 she was out a lot, yes she was doing her A levels, part time job and cared for her horse. She also did go out with...
A. 5 October 2011: Gosh I thought my mother was bad when I was growing up but you make her seem like a saint!
In short, yes you are pushing her away, yes you are FAR too controlling and you have to learn to let go! One sentence in this post summed it all up for me: ... (read in full...)
Husband goes away for extended periods of time. I don't think this is fair!
Q. I need advice. Me and my husband of 9 months have been at item for 8 years. In this last few years he did a bit of backpacking with his mates and i guess you could say he got a bit of the travel bug. Im not a big fan of travelling to farway places ...
A. 5 October 2011: I dont think its unreasonable of him at all - this is one of his passions and he is not asking to go away for ages, just 5 weeks. In his mind he has some free time and wants to explore the world - what is so bad with that? Just because you do not ... (read in full...)
An older guy w/ two teen boys is flirting! Then his elder son did it!
Q. Hola! Yes, I'm learning spanish! Okay enough funny talk here's the question. Should an older guy w/ two teenage boys be winking and smiling and flirting at me? That happened when I went out o eat at a Chinese restaurant last friday. Then lat...
A. 3 October 2011: No he should not be doing this, it is inappropriate for a man who is a father to be winking at a child like yourself. Tell your parents or another responsible adult if anything like this happens again.
I hope this helps and good luck!... (read in full...)
Is a virgin more attractive dating material?
Q. Hey everybody 2 quick questions mainly for girls do you believe that a virgin is more attractive as dating material than a non virgin and is an intelligent person more attractive as dating material than a dumb person?...
A. 3 October 2011: I dont really care if a guy is a virgin or not, it doesnt really matter to me.
But intelligence is very important to me, I am quite an intelligent person myself, I love learning and I always have been pretty smart. So I want a man who matches ... (read in full...)
How to get him into running? I do not want to suggest too obviously that he might think his huge belly is bothering me
Q. I have been seeing this shy guy for six dates. I started to like him and he seems to like me too, otherwise he will not ask me out :) We have entered this friend zone. I like his intelligence, some sense of humor, quietness, and like me, he is a...
A. 3 October 2011: Just because you like running and find it works for you to keep you fit, doesnt mean that it will work for him or that he should join you in this hobby.
You are only dating this man, its not like you are in a relationship and then he put on weigh... (read in full...)
She said she loves me but loves her ex too, and now is slowing things down with us! What is going on here?
Q. My Girl Friend is 30 she is a Student Counselor, we have been dating for 3 months she tells me she is falling in love with me but is still in love with her ex too that she hasn't seen in 5 months. Now she decided to slow us down but still date. I'm ...
A. 3 October 2011: There is nothing to be confused about - she is in love with her ex still, she told you that, and because of this she cannot committ to you hence why she is slowing things down.
She clearly likes you, hence why she wants to keep on dating, ... (read in full...)
Will more women be interested if I lose some weight?
Q. I am a guy who was always on the smaller, scrawnier side. I could eat Ding Dongs and drink soda all day and I weighed 165 at 5'10" at age 17. Long story short, I am now 6 feet tall and 210. I think an ideal weight for me is about 190. I th...
A. 29 September 2011: Have you tried messaging the 'average weight' women first, or are you waiting for women to come to you? Because you will find the more attractive, slim women will be innundated with messages from men so they dont need to be contacting them first, ... (read in full...)
Can you get pregnant if a woman doesn't reach orgasm?
Q. Hi every one! I've been wondering and would like to know that can a woman get pregnant if she still doesn't reach orgasm? If yes how does it happen? Thanks for your time reading this and thanks for your answers in advance. ...
A. 29 September 2011: Not sure if your age is correct here, this sounds like the sort of question that would come from a teenager!
I will try and be serious now though, but first - maybe buy a book on sex and pregnancy and how it all works, that might help you a lot be... (read in full...)
Will our relationship be illegal when I graduate?
Q. Ok I am going to graduate this year from highschool and my boyfriend is a year younger than me will it be illegal for me and him to date when he is still in highschool and I'm not? Also I don't want to break up with him I want him and I to be ...
A. 28 September 2011: Having a relationship with someone a year younger than you is not illegal, regardless of whether you are still at school or not. What COULD be illegal is if you are having sex with him and he is under the age of consent in your state. And that would ... (read in full...)
Ladies, which do you prefer - the cook or the dancer?
Q. Just out of curiosity to all the women out there, which do you prefer - a man who knows his way around the kitchen or a man who knows his way around the dance floor? And why? (I'm just taking a poll of sorts after an interesting discussion among...
A. 28 September 2011: Definitely a man who can cook! I am not much of a dancer myself and I am a bit of a foodie so if I met a guy who could cook pretty well then I would be very impressed and it would be great to cook for each other and share our interest in food ... (read in full...)
My married ex is desperate to meet me for 10 minutes, do I give in?
Q. Hi everyone I've been reading articles but none seem to match my situation. Recently I have been seeing a ex who is married (I am also married) we fell out and I ended our affair and went no contact. I didn't think I mattered to him or that ...
A. 28 September 2011: I think your bigger problem is that you have had an affair and cheated on your husband - you have broken your marriage vows and this is a very serious matter, never mind whether you should speak to your ex or not!
Clearly there are problems... (read in full...)
Why is he acting this way when I mention a friend?
Q. So I'm sleeping with a guy that at first was only once week a week and now it has turned into 3-5 days a week. He has told me he wants nothing serious, but lately he has been wanting to meet my family, me to meet his friends, and do things like go ...
A. 28 September 2011: He likes you, simple as that. Now it is up for you to decide if you like him more than a simple friend with benefits and then take it from there. Once you have decided what you want, have a talk with him and make sure you both want the same things. ... (read in full...)
I love my cousin but he doesn't love me
Q. I went to my grandpa's funeral today and I saw my cousin who I've been in love with for 3 years. He and I got moments alone and finally, I asked him how he felt about me after a failed relationship 3 years ago. I told him how I felt and ended up ...
A. 8 September 2011: Even if you are not related, he still has a girlfriend therefore he is not available. Move on. ... (read in full...)
Due to be married to a woman who thinks sex is only for reproduction! I don't know if I can deal with a life without sex....
Q. hello everyone. I had a chat with my fiance the other evening. I was concerned about our lack of sexual activities. I asked why she never gives oral no hand jobs without asking. And very little sex. When we do have sex i do all for her oral and ...
A. 8 September 2011: So what you're basically saying is that you cant leave, therefore you are going to subject yourself to a life without sex, a terrible marriage and a lifetime of unhappiness...all in the name of your son?
I tell you this now - he is going to be a ... (read in full...)
What should I do? I feel heartbroken and don’t know whether I am in the wrong or he is?
Q. Please help me gain perspective on this I don’t know what to do. My boyfriend and I don’t live together, although he stays at my flat every night. For the most part, we are very happy together – have loads of fun times out and family times etc...
A. 8 September 2011: Gosh you two are very bad for each other - one person suffering from depression and the other a drug addict? That is not a good combination!
It is very well known that smoking weed causes paranoia, so that will be a big part of his behaviou... (read in full...)
What should I do? I feel heartbroken and don’t know whether I am in the wrong or he is?
Q. Please help me gain perspective on this I don’t know what to do. My boyfriend and I don’t live together, although he stays at my flat every night. For the most part, we are very happy together – have loads of fun times out and family times etc...
A. 8 September 2011: Sorry to say this but I agree with Rescuer - you are in the wrong I'm afraid.
As Rescuer said, just because the ex's sister was ignoring you doesnt mean you have the right to call her names, that is plain rude, spiteful, immature and nasty. I... (read in full...)
I'm not sure how guys see me
Q. I like makeup. I always have my full face done - that's what I like and feel comfortable with, BUT I'm worried that guys may look at me in the wrong way. Inside (personality-wise) I'm a religious, reserved, silly person but I'm afraid my exterior ...
A. 8 September 2011: This must be a cultural difference between the USA and the UK, because over here if you dress in sweatpants and wear no make up your a basically a 'chav' (a word we use over here) which means you have no money, no class and are very rough. Whereas ... (read in full...)
How do I ask fiance's dad and uncle to walk me down the aisle?
Q. Hello all. My fiance and I have been engaged for a few weeks now. I hope for a wedding in a year or so, after we're done with important events / work, etc.. My fiance's not very close with his dad. His father walked out on him, and has only ...
A. 8 September 2011: Well in my opinion it would not be at all appropriate, you really shouldnt do this!
I mean his dad has only been back in his life for a short while, and it is your fiance's dad, nothing to do with you! And with the uncle, again, it is your fia... (read in full...)
How can I get him to be my boyfriend again?
Q. i love him and he tells me he loves me. But everythings changed over something his mate did. He doesnt believe me but he tells me he still loves me. How can i get him to be my bf , i dont know what to do :(...
A. 8 September 2011: What did his friend do? Why has everything changed? Why has this affected your relationship?
Unless you give more information we cant help!... (read in full...)
I love my cousin but he doesn't love me
Q. I went to my grandpa's funeral today and I saw my cousin who I've been in love with for 3 years. He and I got moments alone and finally, I asked him how he felt about me after a failed relationship 3 years ago. I told him how I felt and ended up ...
A. 8 September 2011: Just try and stay away from him and move on the best you can.
Kissing back means he does have some sort of feelings yes, but at the end of the day he has a girlfriend therefore is not available, and he is your cousin also so really he is not an i... (read in full...)
Guys: Why would you give a woman your number if you have no intention of answering her calls?
Q. Men why give women your phone number if you know that you are not going to answer for her? thats crazy...
A. 7 September 2011: I know I'm not a guy, but even me as a female has done this before (very bad I know!). Guys have chatted to me in clubs/bars before and while they were ok, I wasnt interested but they asked for my number. So rather than rejecting them to their face ... (read in full...)
Why did this guy delete his comment on facebook?
Q. Why did this guy delete his comment on facebook ?. I wrote a comment on his wall saying that i was disappointed that he had been thrown off a tv programme, and that this woman who didn't like him on the programme should have left, and i said it was ...
A. 7 September 2011: This really isnt a big deal, you should try not to let such small matters get to you, there are better things to be thinking about!
But in my opinion I think he deleted the comment because he said he should have hit her - if anyone saw this the... (read in full...)
Why do girls say they want a nice guy, when we all know that is a load of crap?
Q. The past 5 girls i have talked to, i have asked them the same question. What qualities do you like best in a man? Amazingly they all said as long as hes nice idk...... really? i have people tell me i am too nice , that im the nicest guy they ever ...
A. 7 September 2011: Well if you have spoken to 5 girls and all they can think of is that they want a nice guy, they really dont have a clue about dating or what they want, so you shouldnt listen to them!
I can give you a list as long as my arm with the qualitie... (read in full...)
I'm gay, my wife says I can look not touch and my b/f won't be with me unless I'm single!
Q. Here it is I have been married for three years, and have a 3yr old son. Im gay but my wife thinks im bi, she tells me i can look at guys but can't touch. To top it all off I have a boyfriend who only wants to be with me if im not married. I feel ...
A. 6 September 2011: Well you should forgive your wife for thinking you are bi - after all you have had sex with her (hence your son) and you married her - that all screams that you are at least bi-sexual because you are married to a woman and having sex with her! Dont ... (read in full...)
Why is he waiting so long to give me the promise ring?
Q. Okay, so I've been with my boyfriend for quite some time now and we are young but in love. we have spoken of marriage and our strong desire to really make things happen for us. we agreed to both finish school first but we have a plan. Recently, we ...
A. 6 September 2011: He's probably just waiting for the right moment, he will want it to be really romantic so he is just waiting until he feels everything is perfect. I'm sure he will have something wonderful planned, just be patient and it will be worth the wait.
... (read in full...)
My alarm bells are ringing. Do my suspicions about this guy seem on target?
Q. There was a guy who I had in a couple of my university classes with me. We would talk in class and during breaks and stuff, and he seemed interested in me. So one day he asked if we could do something together. Mind you, he never gave me his number ...
A. 5 September 2011: Sorry I'm not quite sure what you are asking or what actually happened with this guy.
But if he has a girlfriend (or is seeing someone) and has asked you out as well - then yes he sounds like a player and probably only wants one thing.
Only da... (read in full...)
Should I tell him or hope that one day he'll like me like I like him?
Q. ok, im only 14 but i like this boy who is 18, its really complicated because my mum is his boss and he has a gf, we text all the time and he seems to like me but not like i like him. should i forget about it and move on or still be friends and hope ...
A. 5 September 2011: Ok, first things first: Yes he is too old for you. Having a relationship with you would be incredibly difficult for him, mostly because you are 2 years under the age of consent therefore nothing sexual could ever happen because it is illegal. So he ... (read in full...)
I'm ready to have sex with him, but it's my first time...advice?
Q. Hey guys this is a really personal question and I hope you can help me with it I,ve been dating this guy for nearly two months. He makes me feel amazing and beautiful and like i,m the only girl in the world I,ve met his family and I think they...
A. 5 September 2011: Ok well first things first, yes you need to use condoms to prevent STD's, but it is also a good idea to be on birth control to prevent pregnancy. Condoms do prevent pregnacy but there is always a chance of the condom breaking, slipping, some of the ... (read in full...)
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