A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:After 3 years of being with an older married man, I finnally walked away from him last week. Ever since, he has pestered me with hundreds of texts and emails daily, constant calls and if I don't answer he leaves voicemails crying, telling me he loves me and will do anything etcThe thing is, I've heard all this before, its nothing new. He has my name tattoo'ed on him, wants me to have his baby, claims he wants to marry me etc he even suggested we get married illegaly now!I'm 100% sure in my heart that I want and need to move on, he is bad for me. I want to be over him by 2 months but what are my chances when all he does is guilt trip me? He keeps asking me to meet and I keep ignoring him, but yesterday he seemed to snap and sent me this text '' Guess you don't want to meet me! ok, you cut your nose off to spite your face. i was a lot of things to you most good, you can stay lonely now, maybe go and fuck your way through town..turns out *** was right..and all your ex's, me included, your nice but your not all there. yas your ex best friend you've ever had, sort your head out, and find where your heart is, cos it isn't in a dick..you ended this cos your a moron..simple.look at your history with b friends..you can't hold a man, you have a self distruct button, as soon as someone falls for you, you want to mess it up. you blame anyone for anything,and act like a childish brat if you don't get what you want. you use your body as a tool, and don't give a fuck that men are laughing at you and not with you. you think sex is the start and finish of everything, your bitter and twisted and have the most warped mind..i loved you even though i thought all of that of you years ago.get 10 of me? no, you won't get 1..soulmate?...destiny? i love youx''I feel like ill never be able to move on. Please help me someone x
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best friend, I love you, married man, move on, tattoo, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2011): Yeah, I agree with the poster who said to tell his wife.
But don't ever speak to him again. He's got some kind of hold over your for now and he's a jerk.
You are a jerk as well, so don't be one in the future, don't help another person betray another.
Good Luck.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2011): You tell his wife that he's been cheating on her for 3 years and you show her this text he sent you. Then you change your phone number. he should be exposed for who he really is.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (3 August 2011):
 http://www.dearcupid.org/question/married-ex-had-my-name-tattooed-on-his.html
That was a month and a half ago. Why are you still in contact with this douche? Change your number!
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (3 August 2011):
 First things first - this man doesnt love you. To say what he said in that message clearly indicates that he is an awful, vindictive man who was only using you for sex and never loved you in the first place. He has some pretty serious issues and is a nasty piece of work.
You will be able to move on, I promise - but you have to cut him out of your life first. So that means deleting his phone number, calling up your mobile phone service provider and blocking his phone number (so he cant contact you), delete him from Facebook, delete his email....delete every method of contacting him that you have.
If he cant keep bothering you, and you cant get in touch with him, then in time you will heal and move on. But if you allow him to continue to verbally abuse you in this way it will only get worse, and you will probably go crawling back because your self esteem is at an all time low. Dont let him use you like this, and dont put up with his behaviour, he is trying to manipulate you!
Get him out of your life once and for all and then you will be able to move on. You can do so much better than a jerk like him, dont waste another second of your time on him.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2011): Hi I'm the OP, thankyou so much for all the great advice. I know I'm no angel, but its still a huge help to know there's people who understand and can back me in walking away from him.
I'm going well so far, I guess its the next few weeks I need to worry about.
Thanks again for all the encouragment, its a big help xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2011): what a prick!!!!!!!
this man has basically told you that he has always thought of you as a skank and now that you have had the guts ot end it with him, he is advising u what he really always known/thought of you. this man is capable of destroying your world if you allow his unkind vicious attack on your character and yourself affect u.
u can turn this around in your favour by IGNORING him and his words. he obviously just used u and now he wants revenge. at least now u see his true colours and see him for the pig that he really was/is.
in the end you now have a chance to live a reputable life. you see sleeping around with a married man always come back to bite you.
LoveGirl
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2011): This man sounds as if he has a problem. Be very wary as he seems irrational. Just ignore the text and calls. Do not respond. In time he'll give up. But for you own well being - cut him out of your life.Don't be tempted to play in this game, it can not end well.
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A
female
reader, Aunty Susie +, writes (3 August 2011):
 The first move, I believe, you should make, is to change your phone number and have a silent number. Change your mobile number, or block his number on your phone. You really need to stop this man having any contact with you. He sounds very toxic. If he threatens you in any way, do not hesitate in going to the police, make a report. Let people know what is going on. If he does leave you alone, you won't have any trouble moving on from him. You will realise that it was bad for you from the beginning. Good luck to you. xxx
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A
female
reader, chickpea2011  +, writes (3 August 2011):
 Hi,
I really don't approve of cheating, but I have learned that its not only the mistress fault. I am sure that you didn't know he was married when you first met. I understand that after knowing the truth is hard to let go, specially when he's nice to you, and make false promises. I don't blame me, don't judge you, and understand you.
But, I think in my opinion, you made the right decision. It has been 3 years now, and I don't think anything will change. If he really loved you enough, he would have married you by now.
The message he sent you, shows he's very manipulative, selfish, and I think he's describing himself.. The things he said to you are very hurtful...
Please, don't take him back and stay away from him. You need to find someone that will love you only. Will be available to you at anytime and all the time. I am sure many guys would love to have a chance with you. Remember, we're not getting any younger. Its time to think of yourself for once, and think about the future.
This is not a happy, healthy relationship.. Not only, he's manipulative and selfish, but he has a bad temper. You deserve to be happy, have a normal relationship, someone that will love you, respect you unconditionally...
I am glad that you decided to end, hope you stay strong..hope you find someone that really deserve you.. I feel sorry for his wife, I cannot imagine the pain having to live with a man that not only cheats, but is a coward, fake, horrible attitude, anger problems, no character, integrity and weak. I am happy that finally you see the real him...
Good luck my dear, be strong!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2011): This post made me so, so angry! Not what you wrote but the stuff you quoted from him. How DARE he say those things to you! HE calls you cheap and loose, he calls you crazy and tells you to sort your head out!!! I am just at a loss for words!
Okay, listen here is what you need to do. Delete this man from your life. Forget that he is married or a user, the worst of this is that he is an abuser. Even if he was single and available, I would tell you to stay away from him. The way he is trying to manipulate you first into thinking that you are not able to have other relationships because you are crazy, and then to go on and say that despite this, he loves you. What a sick, twisted man.
You are worth more than this kind of treatment but longer you stay with him, the more likely you are going to start believing in what he says about you. Things which are not true. You have already shown courage and good judgement by leaving this man, continue this and just move on. This man is so toxic.
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