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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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Did my daughter have sex while she was visiting a friend? Or am I over-exaggerating things?
Q. I am a father to a 17 year old girl. A little over a month ago i gave her permission to stay at her friend's house during Easter recess. She DID go, because i called one day and spoke to her mom who then passed the phone. Fine. I was proud of her. ...
A. 5 June 2011: So you're an 8-4 policeman and a musician, and an expert profiler of people's ages online?! If you really are such a busy man man that might explain why you got my age completely wrong! Try adding another 8 years to your blind guess and you might be ... (read in full...)
I really want this to work and need some dating advice
Q. hi ive got my first date tomorrow with a girl who i really like and she really likes me too. i thought about buying her some flowers for when we meet up. were going to the cinema to see a movie and maybe get something to eat before. i've pla...
A. 3 June 2011: You really are asking a lot of questions about this date arent you! It is very sweet, hope you dont mind me answering again (I think I have answered all your questions so far!)
Flowers are a bit much - you are going to the cinema so it will be ... (read in full...)
Did my daughter have sex while she was visiting a friend? Or am I over-exaggerating things?
Q. I am a father to a 17 year old girl. A little over a month ago i gave her permission to stay at her friend's house during Easter recess. She DID go, because i called one day and spoke to her mom who then passed the phone. Fine. I was proud of her. ...
A. 3 June 2011: I'm sure this 21 year old boy who is still playing his gigs in parks is not quite on the same level as Steven Tyler! He is hardly a rock god now is he, playing in a local park probably on the bill with a number of other bands!
I stand by my initi... (read in full...)
I lost weight...how do I keep it off?
Q. Hi im wondering if anyone can help me... after i put on a stone over Christmas i decided to do something about my weight and joined weight watchers. Since then i have lost a stone but it was with many ups and downs; i would have one good week and...
A. 3 June 2011: Well I am currently on Weight Watchers so I know how you feel! Are you an online member, or do you go to classes? I am online only, and the tools they have on there are excellent, if you are not already using it I suggest you sign up to the online ... (read in full...)
Did my daughter have sex while she was visiting a friend? Or am I over-exaggerating things?
Q. I am a father to a 17 year old girl. A little over a month ago i gave her permission to stay at her friend's house during Easter recess. She DID go, because i called one day and spoke to her mom who then passed the phone. Fine. I was proud of her. ...
A. 2 June 2011: I honestly dont think anyone has said you are a bad parent, and as I have said before - your reaction will be the same as many other parents and it is fairly normal.
Yes your daughter was wrong to go to this concert without asking you, but real... (read in full...)
On-line friend suddenly cut contact, but I'm still talking to her brother and want to visit their family!
Q. So i'm in a little bit of a pickle. I am nearly 17 years old in July and i need support on an idea/decision i have made. I have been friends with my "online friends" for about 2 years. I live in Scotland, "tamara" lives in London and "Suzi" lives...
A. 2 June 2011: Well I'm not sure if it would be a good idea to visit when Suzi has cut off contact with you, as much as it would be nice for you to see Matthew it would be very awkward with Suzi in her own home, so I dont think it would be right.
Has Matthew ... (read in full...)
Pros and cons of being friends with an ex?
Q. What are the pros and cons of being friends with an ex? Im trying to decide what i should do with my first love now that she is my ex. It is hard to decide because the reason we broke up is because she started liking someone else and decided to date ...
A. 2 June 2011: Pro's - there are none.
Con's - it all depends on your relationship but the list is potentially huge.
Ok, maybe that is a bit of a generalisation, but in the majority of cases being friends with an ex is a terrible idea and only draws out t... (read in full...)
Did my daughter have sex while she was visiting a friend? Or am I over-exaggerating things?
Q. I am a father to a 17 year old girl. A little over a month ago i gave her permission to stay at her friend's house during Easter recess. She DID go, because i called one day and spoke to her mom who then passed the phone. Fine. I was proud of her. ...
A. 2 June 2011: Whoa there, easy now! The majority of us who have answered are not teenagers, and even Foxy7727 said that it is her SISTER who is 17, so try not to think we are all teenage girls ganging up on you!
You are not the bad guy, and I dont think an... (read in full...)
Am I over-analyzing things?
Q. Hello :) Well I'm getting a little suspicious about my boyfriend. When I went to his house today he put the TV on and it was on a porn channel in which he claimed it just flicked over when he was fast asleep last night and the remote control w...
A. 2 June 2011: Sevrine is absolutely right - the porn is nothing to worry about, the majority of teenage boys watch porn so that is nothing new.
As for the way he reacted about the naughty messages though - that is a big red flag and he wouldnt get defensiv... (read in full...)
This is my first date.....what should I wear?
Q. hi everyone last night the girl i really like basically told me she liked me cause she is having a party which shes invited me to and she asked me about some people who i know if they would come and i said that its her party and its up to her who ...
A. 2 June 2011: A hoodie is a bit too casual and well you must know the stereotypes of hoodies in the UK, probably not a great idea for a date!
But then again a tie is far too formal, and black trousers would probably be too formal as well (if you are talking ... (read in full...)
Best Age For Birth Control?
Q. Ok, so I don't want birth control, but I'm curious. What is, in your opinion, the right age for girls to get birth control? When did you get it? Would you have gone younger or older if you could've done it over? Thanks...
A. 2 June 2011: There is no right 'age' for birth control, it all depends on when you need it. If you have been in a long term stable relationship and are thinking about having sex, then going onto birth control is the right thing to do, regardless of what age you ... (read in full...)
Teenagers and sex--the stress is almost unbearable!
Q. I have some thoughts I’d like to share with you guys about the sexual pressure young people are under. I appreciate that I’m only speaking for myself, and most of my points will be drawn from my personal experience, but any opinions and feedback ...
A. 1 June 2011: Well first of all let me say good for you for having such strong opinions and values, it is really refreshing to hear!
At the end of the day, regardless of the rest of the world and what they are saying - only you matter, and you only have you... (read in full...)
Is this 36 year old man worried because he has feelings towards a 16 year old girl?
Q. So, this is kind of an akward question and i don't really know where to start..i know i'm going to get alot of comments on something that this question isnt about! Okay, so basically i'm 16 and i've had a 'crush' on my ex neighbour for ar...
A. 1 June 2011: Apologies! A very close coincidence there where we have 2 different posters, both in the UK, both 16-17, both with the man in question aged 36, where in both cases the man is a neighbour/recently became an ex neighbour, in both cases the man has ... (read in full...)
Is this 36 year old man worried because he has feelings towards a 16 year old girl?
Q. So, this is kind of an akward question and i don't really know where to start..i know i'm going to get alot of comments on something that this question isnt about! Okay, so basically i'm 16 and i've had a 'crush' on my ex neighbour for ar...
A. 1 June 2011: I'm pretty sure this is you http://www.dearcupid.org/question/-i-have-feelings-for-a-married-man.html (but if not apologies!).
Regardless of your new questions today - It doesnt matter!!! As you said, you dont want anything to happen, therefor... (read in full...)
Did my daughter have sex while she was visiting a friend? Or am I over-exaggerating things?
Q. I am a father to a 17 year old girl. A little over a month ago i gave her permission to stay at her friend's house during Easter recess. She DID go, because i called one day and spoke to her mom who then passed the phone. Fine. I was proud of her. ...
A. 1 June 2011: Lets think about this logically here. What you think happened is this:
Aged 17, your daugther went to a music concert in a park where a band was playing, and she has a crush on one of the musicians in the band. Once the concert had finished, desp... (read in full...)
Should I show him the new and improved me?
Q. Ok I like this guy on the internet. He seemed to be interested in me until I showed him a few pictures. He has dated models in the past, at least that's what he's said and I'm not the model type though I think I'm cute and pretty sometimes. So o...
A. 1 June 2011: No, dont do this, it would be very silly and a bit immature to be honest.
Good for you for working on your appearance, it is great that you are looking good now and happy with your appearance. But you dont need approval from any man, let alone su... (read in full...)
3 weeks later and still not over him...
Q. hey, me and my partner split up about 3 weeks ago and he has already moved on, we split due to rumours of me cheating, when in the end found out he was the one cheating. althought he cheated on me and has hurt me so much by getting with som...
A. 1 June 2011: It has only been 3 weeks, stop beating yourself up for feeling this way! How you are feeling now is totally normal, in fact it would be bad if you were over him already and were not feeling sad! It is very important that you go through this process ... (read in full...)
Should I ask her out? How do I act when I meet her?
Q. so i really like this girl and i think she likes me as well. we both went to the same party at the weekend and i kept talking to her and putting my arm around her. we both had a really good time and when i got home i sent a text to our mutual friend ...
A. 1 June 2011: Yes ask her out, but definitely DO NOT take her shopping! That is fine if you have been boyfriend and girlfriend for a few weeks or months, but if on your first date you take her shopping to buy a new dress, you will appear one or maybe both of ... (read in full...)
Pain after sex
Q. No, I don't have an STD. I just get sore after sex. We used to have sex til he couldn't help coming. Now we have sex til I'm too sore and then I tell him he has to come. It's sad. And I'm all sore later in the day/the next day so it just kinda ...
A. 1 June 2011: See your doctor. If you are already using lots of lube and you are experiencing pain then there could be a number of medical reasons for this, so visit a doctor and they will be able to help you. ... (read in full...)
I want him but just as a FWB, can this work?
Q. I'm in a bit of a complicated situation. This is a really long story, fair warning... I suppose this all starts back at the beginning of this school year. I met this guy who we'll call T. T was quiet, had below average attendance, and ...
A. 1 June 2011: This is the reason why a FWB would not work for you "I do love T so much". You said it yourself, you love him, are smitten with him...etc.
Friends with benefits is by definition, JUST FRIENDS who have sex. You are not JUST FRIENDS with this guy... (read in full...)
I'm only 18 and look like a middle aged woman!
Q. Please, i have this problem that is bothering me so much. It may only be aesthetics but its really getting my down. I have always had big breasts, although they have always been in proportion to my frame. They have never been pert, nor have i ever ...
A. 31 May 2011: The whole wearing a bra at night has not been 'proven' by scientists, there has been some research that suggests it might help, and Mariyln Monroe used to swear by it apparently. This is the article I read on the issue recently ... (read in full...)
I'm bigger to begin with, but now I'm having a baby! What can I expect in terms of my weight?
Q. im expecting my first baby. When i told my mum one of the first things she said to me after congratulations was oh no your going to put on more weight! Im a size 16 uk so not a little person, but now im worried that my antinatal apointments are ...
A. 31 May 2011: Well your weight isnt that important anymore - if you are already overweight there is not much you can do about it now you are pregnant. If your midwife deems your weight to be a major issue, then they will tell you. But chances are if you are a 16 ... (read in full...)
What's the best way to get over the guilt of my breakup and start dating again?
Q. I live with my x-husband and we have a great friendship and we love each other, but we r no longer in love with each other. He tells me to go out and meet someboy, but I feel guilty. Do I get over this feeling and start dating again. Also what are ...
A. 31 May 2011: Well I would suggest that you dont start dating again until you have moved out and are fully over your ex. No man is going to want to date a woman who not only lives with her ex, but will also happily say she still loves him!
It is highly u... (read in full...)
Is it normal to worry that you won't be good at sex?
Q. Hey Just a quick question. My boyfriend is older than I am, and I know he isn't a virgin, whereas I am. I'm a 17 year old girl and we've been together for 8 months now, and we're ready to take the next step in our relationship and sleep together...
A. 31 May 2011: Of course it is normal, it is your first time so you are bound to be nervous about a lot of things!
But your boyfriend is right, if you both love each other then it will be amazing, nothing else will matter. And for your first time, he will hop... (read in full...)
I'm only 18 and look like a middle aged woman!
Q. Please, i have this problem that is bothering me so much. It may only be aesthetics but its really getting my down. I have always had big breasts, although they have always been in proportion to my frame. They have never been pert, nor have i ever ...
A. 31 May 2011: Well for the dryness and stretch marks - try moisturising daily. Palmers cocoa butter is good for stretch marks, and if you google stretch mark cream I'm sure there will be plenty of options for you to choose from. Stretch marks do fade (I ... (read in full...)
Photos show my b/f dancing with a girl but he says he was drunk and doesn't remember!
Q. I been dating my boyfriend for 2.5 years. He is 22 and im 18. he barley goes out with his friends out to the bars. so this past weekend i went to a club with my friends (oh btw we live 3 hrs away. so we see each other every other weekend.) anyways ...
A. 31 May 2011: He hasnt done anything wrong really and he has apologized, so there is no reason not to forgive him.
He obviously got very drunk and didnt know what he was doing, and it was only dancing - not like he kissed her or had sex with her or anything... (read in full...)
I'm married. Would it be appropriate for a male friend to stay at our house?
Q. I got married 7 years ago and moved to the US. I have some friends back home, male and female, form my university days. I am still in contact with some of them. With my male friends I talke by phone just Couple of times per year. One of my friends ...
A. 31 May 2011: Well if he is coming to stay when your husband is in the house, and is obviously staying in a seperate bedroom - then I cant see a problem!
I guess it just depends on your relationship with your husband and what type of man he is. Is he jealous?... (read in full...)
Its stupid to say I'm sorry when I'm wrong!
Q. Why do people say I'm mean because I dont apologize and feel bad when Im wrong? I talk to them after a little while so shouldnt they know Im over it and they should be happy I talk to them again? Why all the drama and stuff? It's stupid. Why they ...
A. 31 May 2011: Sorry from your grammar and spelling it is hard to really understand what you are asking, but my guess is you are wondering why you should say sorry when you are wrong?
Well, its because you are WRONG!! There is no need to apologize when you are ... (read in full...)
I am not ready to be in the delivery room with my wife!
Q. Hi, my wife is about to give birth and I am not ready to be in the maternity ward when the process begins. I have no one else to be there with her as we are in a foreign country on our own and this is freaking me out. My wife thinks I will be there ...
A. 18 May 2011: Glad we could help! Dont worry about being a bit squeamish about the birth, heck even being female myself, I would not want to look at what is going on! It is a bit gross and a little disturbing that something so large is coming out of there!
... (read in full...)
I am not ready to be in the delivery room with my wife!
Q. Hi, my wife is about to give birth and I am not ready to be in the maternity ward when the process begins. I have no one else to be there with her as we are in a foreign country on our own and this is freaking me out. My wife thinks I will be there ...
A. 18 May 2011: Look, this is your wife, having your baby - yes it is scary and if it is your first child, well often many first time parents are not ready for their child to arrive! What you are feeling is normal and natural, but it doesnt mean that you wimp out ... (read in full...)
Would a happily married woman want to know that she has an admirer? Or would it complicate her marriage?
Q. Does a woman who is happily married want to know if she has a harmless 'secret admirer'? Does it flatter her, or complicate her marriage? If someone has fallen for her, but has no intention of ever pursuing her, does she want to know?...
A. 18 May 2011: I would say no, I wouldnt want to know - if I were the woman and a man came up to me and told me that he was attracted to me/had feelings for me, it would make me very uncomfortable and I would do my best to avoid that man in the future.
So un... (read in full...)
I may never see my ex again after the next time we meet... should I ask for my possessions back?
Q. Hi all, When me and my girlfriend of 4 months were together, I would often leave a long sleeved hooded top at hers. Eventually it got to the point where I would never take it with me. When we split up back in February due to the fact that I'm le...
A. 18 May 2011: It doesnt sound like you are doing anything wrong at all, dont worry!
I think all it is is that you would really like a relationship, you simply want to meet a nice girl and enjoy all the things that come with relationships. Some guys your age... (read in full...)
Living with my boyfriend and have a young child together, but thinking of meeting up with my online guy. Should I meet him?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend on and off for 5 years, we live together and have a 10 month old son. For about 7 years ive known a guy online, hes sweet and we phone each other constantly, before I met my boyfriend we were planning to meet up as we ...
A. 18 May 2011: Well get your boyfriend to agree to anger management then! Yes it is not a good environment for you son if there is a lot of anger in the house, but equally coming from a broken home and growing up without dad being around all the time is just as ... (read in full...)
The weight and height difference is getting in the way of us being together!
Q. ok so im a freshman in high school so is he. we text a lot it seems like he likes me. the only thing holding me back is my weight. im 5'2" and 115lbs. hes 6'3" and so tall and skinny. what do i do?...
A. 17 May 2011: I dont see the problem either - your weight is perfectly fine, you are skinny yourself so I dont get what you are worried about?! For your height your weight is normal, maybe even slightly lower than ideal but definitely nowhere near being fat or ... (read in full...)
When a girl stops giving oral does it mean they are no longer into you?
Q. Hi Just looking for some advice really Ive been with my partner for nearly three years now, things are great except for one aspect. We still have sex regularly, but the oral sex (from her) has gone from frequently to hardly ever- even as...
A. 17 May 2011: To entice you my friend....I know I have even said the same line and it is a lie! I have said to guys in the past I enjoy it and love giving head, but us girls only ever say that to make you think we are great in bed and to impress you.
Notic... (read in full...)
Living with my boyfriend and have a young child together, but thinking of meeting up with my online guy. Should I meet him?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend on and off for 5 years, we live together and have a 10 month old son. For about 7 years ive known a guy online, hes sweet and we phone each other constantly, before I met my boyfriend we were planning to meet up as we ...
A. 17 May 2011: One word - NO!
Do not, under any circumstances, meet up with this man. Otherwise you are just going to open a whole new can of worms and get yourself deeper into this mess.
At the end of the day, you love your boyfriend, live with him and hav... (read in full...)
When a girl stops giving oral does it mean they are no longer into you?
Q. Hi Just looking for some advice really Ive been with my partner for nearly three years now, things are great except for one aspect. We still have sex regularly, but the oral sex (from her) has gone from frequently to hardly ever- even as...
A. 17 May 2011: To answer your questions in order:
1. She is still interested in you, dont worry! As you said, she would have stopped having sex with you, she would be very distant, irritable...etc if she had gone off you. She clearly loves you, is attracted to y... (read in full...)
Is she looking for reasons to break up with me?
Q. Hi peeps, I'm feelin' a bit down at the moment, namely because I'm on the edge of breaking up with my girlfriend, last saturday she said some things... reasons why we should break up, the day after I called my best friends to come over, I talked it ...
A. 17 May 2011: Well if all she has said is that you dont text her enough and you dont talk to enough strangers at parties, and that is why you should break up - then yes, she is making up silly excuses to get out of the relationship.
If she had just said to ... (read in full...)
Shall I move in with my boyfriend now or let my parents get used to the idea first?
Q. I need abit of advice from any parents or people who have recently moved out of their parents house. My boyfriend has his own house, shared with a house mate at the moment, and it is alot closer to my work than my parents house where I live. Over ...
A. 17 May 2011: Sorry I dont really understand what the problem is here? Why would your parents have a problem with you moving in with your boyfriend? Are you very young or something? Have you only been with your boyfriend a short period of time? Is this is a ... (read in full...)
Colleagues are saying I have a cheeky smile, what does this mean?
Q. It is so confusing when people throw comments about you. I have just started work in a new place and so far three women have told me I have a CHEEKY smile. I just don't know how to take it, whether it is a good thing (complement) or not! Can someone ...
A. 16 May 2011: It is a good thing, dont worry! It just means that when you smile, you look a bit cheeky, and the word 'cheeky' means a little bit naughty, mischevious, bold, saucy, brazen....that type of thing.
So generally, when you smile, you must look a l... (read in full...)
I may never see my ex again after the next time we meet... should I ask for my possessions back?
Q. Hi all, When me and my girlfriend of 4 months were together, I would often leave a long sleeved hooded top at hers. Eventually it got to the point where I would never take it with me. When we split up back in February due to the fact that I'm le...
A. 16 May 2011: Well in that case I think you should just get the top back and that will be that over and done with. If she has a new man in her life chances are it wont mean much to her anymore, I think it sounds more like you are hoping it means something rather ... (read in full...)
Don't want to live in my bf's parents house anymore but don't know what to do.
Q. I don't think I need any advice as such... I guess I just need somewhere to say how I'm feeling about things at the moment. I'll warn you now, this is going to be very long. Just to give you little insight - Me and my boyfriend met over the int...
A. 16 May 2011: I will apologise in advance if any of this comes across as harsh to you, it is not intended to upset you but it is hard to find sympathy in this case, so I may sound harsh in some instances.
Let me just say it right away - it pretty much is your ... (read in full...)
I may never see my ex again after the next time we meet... should I ask for my possessions back?
Q. Hi all, When me and my girlfriend of 4 months were together, I would often leave a long sleeved hooded top at hers. Eventually it got to the point where I would never take it with me. When we split up back in February due to the fact that I'm le...
A. 16 May 2011: To be honest this seems like a bit of a fuss over nothing. Do you actually want the hooded top back? If you want it back - then ask for it. If you dont really care about it, then just leave it.
As for being friends with her - you still have fee... (read in full...)
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