A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Does my ex still have feelings for me?. I saw him in a pub yesterday. I was in the pub with my mum. He looked at me a few times . I was nervous about going over to speak to him at first, even though we have had a chat before when we have bumped into each other. He was stood near the bar, so i went and stood next to him when i went to get a drink for me and my mum. I stood chatting to him as i was waiting for the drinks. He said " you've left your mum on her own ", and he said he would buy a drink for me and my mum and come over. A little while later, he came over with the drinks. We all sat chatting with each other for a couple of hours. We were chatting in general about what we had been up to.He also went to the bar with me at one point to get some more drinks. When he was outside having a smoke, my mum left ( she had to go and pick my brother up ) but i stayed in the pub. When my ex came back in, he asked me straight away if i was still with my boyfriend. I asked him why he asked me that and he said " you'd rather not know why i'm asking ". I'm not sure what that meant?.I told him that i had heard from someone else that he had been talking about me to them and he said the name of the person who he thought had told me that, and it was the name of his friend who had told me, so that was proof that he had been talking about me to his friend. I also told him that his friend said that he regretted when we broke up and that he didn't like me having a boyfriend, and then he said " well yeah, i probably did say that ". Sometimes when i tried to ask him more about that, he changed the subject. He also said " i don't know what to say to you because you are seeing someone ". For some reason, he also said that he thought my mum should have said goodbye to him before she left the pub. When i left, he waited with me until my taxi came, and he asked me to give him a call. I'm not sure if he really wants me to call him though, or if he was just saying that to be polite or something. What do you think?. I'm not sure if i have missed out anything else that he said and anything else that happened, but if i have, i'll add it later.
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male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (10 February 2013):
IT does sound very much like there are still some feelings there. But what matters is what you think about that? IF you are with some-one else, have moved on and wouldn’t want to give the relationship another try, then don’t push him any further on it. Why get him to open up if there is no going back? If you would want to try again if he felt the same, you need to get him to talk. That might mean asking him very directly and being as direct with him in telling him what you want. It would also mean doing the decent thing and ending things with your current boyfriend. You would then need to look at why your relationship broke down last time and figure out how you would ensure that factor didn’t cause it to fail again. Basically this comes down to the fact that knowing his feelings for the sake of it is pointless, only push him further if anything could happen. Otherwise, be civil when you see each other, and get on with your own lives.
I wish you all the very best.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (10 February 2013):
 It's better to leave him as an ex. If you keep in touch with him, you will wonder what it will be like to rekindle things with him. He does have some feelings for you but what kind it is. Some men have known to "try things out", regretted making a mistake, all that romantic stuff, just to unload their nuts in a dry spell, then disappear again. You show him that you are devoted to your boyfriend by not calling him back. Neither you or your mom have to be polite to him. He's an ex for a reason.
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