A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone, i know this might be a bit long, just bear with me please.Ok the thing is that i dont know how i feel towards a girl, i dont really know how to really explain that, so i wil just start at the beggining.So last semester (about 7 months) i met this girl in one of my classes, she was kinda shy and i tough she was cute (not hot tough), and i rarely hit on girls, partly because im shy and another because i usually dont meet girls that interest me enough or that i think are easily approachable, but i do have some female friends. But in this occasion i wanted to be more decided for a change so i tried talking to her and getting to know her, and to my surprise we really hit it off, we became friends fast and i started to like her, she started to include me in her inner circle of friends, and we have even got to a few places together, but not oficcial dates, and as i said i became infutuaited and tried to win her over.However here is the thing, the more i got to know her i found out she isnt the kind of girl i thought she was, and make no mistake i dont mean that she is a bad person, she is actually a really nice girl, is only that i had another idea of how she was, is hard to explain, now my infatuation has calmed down and i have started to see things that we differ, dont get me wrong, we have lots of things in common too, is just.... Not what i expected.And curiously now when im starting to doubt my feelings, it seems that she is hinting that she likes, like hinting that she would like that we take the same classes, asking me if im looking for a girlfriend( while at the same time telling me she is looking for a boyfriend), she wants to hang out more, that we go to the gym together, things like that. Im very dense when it comes to love, but those are a lot of signals that even i have to catch the idea.And i do think she is a good girl, i mean yea she has things that i dont like, but has a lot of good things too that i like, and i know she is a good friend, but in a romantic way im not sure what i feel for her.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2013): hmmm, maybe you should try kissing her..You can usually tell by a kiss if its even worth going further, It might save you a lot of thinking and what not..I use to have this huge crush on this guy thought about him all the time..then we kissed and it so bad my infatuation with him was over in that instant..lol any who thats my advice..
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (13 February 2013):
 When it comes to romance it is very clear cut, you either feel it or you don't. What's hard to explain is the subconscious things that need to meet your criteria in order for you to be attracted to a person. She doesn't have those although she will make a good friend. We have this instinct for mating. We decide in seconds whether that person will be a friend, a sexual partner, or a life long mate. What did you say when she asked if you were looking for a girlfriend? If you didn't jump for it it means there isn't much interest. For some people, the spark does not develop right away, it takes time. In this situation, the more you know her the more it is leaning towards just friendship. When you like a girl and she likes you back, you should be thrilled but instead you are doubting. At the same time if a girl has to back off to regain your interest you have to know that your interest is not sincere, you just like the chase and not the girl. It seems you are ready to be in a relationship but you haven't found your match yet.
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