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He's 12 years older and divorced. He was my lecturer. Could we make this work?

Tagged as: Age differences, Crushes, Family, Love stories, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 February 2013) 4 Answers - (Newest, 10 February 2013)
A female India age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hi, thanks for those who answer my question in advance.

Following is the brief intro about the man with whom i have affair.

currently i am doing MBA.

i met this guy during my year, because he is my lecturer.he taught me one subject,and i am a motivated student.

so he had a good idea about me and vice-versa i too liked him,being a good staff.

Completed.i left the college.but in a formal manner we started to chat through phone's, message's etc.

later days he proposed me.because he is a divorcee with one daughter lives with her mom.

though i like him a lot i gave advice to him that it will not work because that he is divorced, age gap (10 to 12 years) etc.

But he keeps on insisted me that he loves me, want to marry me, want to live his life with me,want to hug me,kiss me etc.Since 6 months he proposed i too got the same feeling (its out of my control).so i said that i love him in return.

Now the problem is he is not the same as before.Like not messaging, caling me often as before.if i ask something, replying for some messages only and so on.

he is doing his PhD....

Help me to know whether due to his busy schedule, he dont's find time for me or He is in some other problem or he is trying to avoid me????? According to what i know, currently he don't have any other affair than me!

Can somebody guess psychologically about him like....?

1. a divorced man can be true in a relationship????

2. whether he meant he loves me????

3. he felt bored?????

4. he using me for granted?????

5. or what he said is true and will marry me?????

As i said that doing MBA, i could not concentrate in my studies and in everything due to this confusions....my emotional feelings are hurting me a lot.

But one thing is true, i love him truly with my full heart and want to live my entire life as his wife.

Please give me ideas and suggestions for this......???????????????????

View related questions: affair, divorce

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A female reader, Kindpigeonette Japan +, writes (10 February 2013):

Why is he divorced? Who initiated it and for what reasons?

My ex was 14 years older than me and a PHD student when we met. He called me his wife on our third date and then wham...he started ditching me, ignoring me, treating me like garbage. He was divorced because he cheated multiple times. He had two kids and was not in their life because he didnt care about them. They lived with the mom as well.

I would be careful, just because this sounds similar to my last relationship and it ended up being really bad. BUT you should really try speaking with him first. PHDs are a lot of work, so it depends on how often you text him etc.

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A female reader, NORA B Ireland +, writes (10 February 2013):

Hi i do understand your situation. But i feel within your own question you have a answer. Re those 5 questions you asked . First i want you to answer those questions iin an OBYJECTIVE way , THEN ask those same questions of your boyfriend,Best Luck NORA B.

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (10 February 2013):

janniepeg agony auntDivorced people don't have a lot of stigma here. Things fall apart and they can both be good people, just not in a marriage. I do think that it works better for single parents to hook up with another. When you are young you should try finding a single person with no baggage. Love is not so unconditional after all. But one thing that does apply to everybody is that if your date is not consistent with his words and actions, goes silent for no reason, only contacts you when you are about to leave, then you have to be buyer aware and avoid damaged goods.

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A female reader, Atsweet1 United States +, writes (10 February 2013):

Atsweet1 agony auntDont think he is not still interested. Like you mentioned he is busy you are as well. Confess the positive see the positive and it will happen. Picuture you and him married and happy. Dont think and picture he is with someone else or cheating cause that may happen too thoughts of the mind and what we speak can really happen also too what we believe. Stay positive first and foremost cause maybe somebody is working against you not being together or anything. I would stay focused on school too positive positive positive beats negative always even if it doesnt appear too.

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