A
male
age
30-35,
*ewildered_bear
writes:Been with my girlfriend for about 9 months now, first few months didn't really count as we started dating towards the end of the uni year, then I went travelling over summer, and we live in different areas but still spoke frequently and met up when we could.Things have been good over the last 6 months since we've actually been able to have a proper relationship whilst back at uni, though we were never exclusive over summer and she admitted that she still had feelings for an ex who treated her pretty poorly. She says she's now over him and only wants me; she's a virgin and has decided she wants to have sex with me soon which is obviously great. Problem is I don't know where this is going, I know we're both young but I do genuinely love the girl but she isn't the first girl I’ve ever felt this way for, some I’m not naively love struck and deluded. We finish uni in about 4 months, she still has 2 years left (dentistry) but I graduate this summer. Do we stay together? Or just end it as mates and go our separate ways? I don't really like the idea of having a limit on a relationship but at the same time I don't know if I want more from it. I suppose it is fairly serious in the sense that there are genuine feelings at play.She wants to meet my parents, and we talked of going on holiday together in the summer but we both joke about not wanting to get married to each other, or future relationships. It’s not that I don't want to marry her, I just haven't even considered that an option. If she wants to break up after uni I’d be gutted but understand, but then surely shouldn't we just end it now, and she lose her virginity to someone she wants to be with long-term? also she's another nationality , not that it bothers me but the cultural differences seem to be a slight issue for her parents and maybe her social network (elderly and traditional), she and I have no qualms but her mother always makes references to how it never works between her nationalisty and my nationality, which to me just seems stupid. Not sure what to do...could really do with some advice!
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male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (7 February 2013):
You should say to her much of what you wrote here.
If she cherishes her virginity then it's especially important. If she doesn't why should you? Just date her and take things one step at a time and enjoy your time together.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (7 February 2013):
 and taking this thing one day at a time and going with the flow is not an option because why?
you have all these reasons to break up.... seems YOU are the one afraid of getting hurt...
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (7 February 2013):
 She doesn't know you don't want more so you have to tell her now. It may take you 10 more years to want to settle down but it sounds like she wants to get married as soon as she graduates. Tell her about wanting to go slow, then she can decide if you are worth waiting for.
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