A
male
age
36-40,
*txi
writes:So, me and this girl broke up about 9 months ago.I've met and dated other people, lived my life in the meantime. Yet I can't get over her, my mind keeps going back.We still meet every now and again and get along great. People who don't know that we used to date think that we do now or that we will soon, so I know I'm not imagining the body language.I have mentioned the idea of dating to her, and every time I get a mixed response. Such as "I would date you if I wasn't so busy" (During a very busy time of her degree, I can understand that.)Recently she turned up to a party just to talk with a friend of hers and myself. She spent the majority of it talking to me and then spent an hour afterwards in the cold at the taxi rank talking (plenty of taxis to get in, she wanted to stay and talk). When I mentioned dating a week later she said that she had issues that stopped her dating seriously, and then said that she could see herself overcoming them with me, but also could see her leaving us as it is, having parted the relationship on good terms.These mixed signals are confusing the hell out of me. She isn't dating anyone else or looking to, she doesn't need my attention. And if she didn't want to date she wouldn't say that she does, she'd just mention why she doesn't want to.Is there anything I can do to turn this around? Why does she give mixed signals like this?Thank you for reading.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (12 February 2013):
 There is nothing you can do to make her change her mind and I think she's being very unfair stringing you along like this.
This is why you should not be friends with ex partners. it's confusing... you are confusing her being kind and friendly with interest.
If you can't cope with the mixed signals I would not be friends with her.
do not call her
do not text her
do not post on her facebook wall or twitter feed...
when you see her out and about be civil you can even be friendly..... but there's nothing there to be getting mixed signals on... she likes the ego stroke of you wanting to date her.... stop feeding her ego at your expense.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (12 February 2013):
 She can't make a guarantee that she will date you again in the future. She doesn't want you to have false hope because it is unfair to lead you on. She is giving you the message that if you can't wait she has no problems if you move on. I think being busy with school work is just an excuse.
Some people have trouble saying no. It could be a way of gently let you down. I myself can say no then block the person forever. Most people are not like that. Why be someone's option when there are other girls who may treat you as priority. Just something to think about.
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