A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am in a great relationship with my girlfriend. We have been together for many years. My girlfriend is bisexual but I cannot admit to her that I am as well.At work, I really like this guy. He makes me laugh and makes me feel good when I see him. I try to talk myself out of my feelings, but I constantly check him out and try to find any reason to talk to him. He recently gave me his number, and we text sometimes. I also got his snapchat so we go back and forth with pictures of what we are doing at the time. Nothing out of the normal friendship zone but it is now making it harder for my feelings to go away. It also doesn't help that he hugs me sometimes when I see him. He mentioned hanging out before but I changed the subject.My question is how do I let these feelings go? Would it be better to hang outside of work to see how my feelings change? I feel wrong for these feelings even though my girlfriend probably wouldn't be mad if I told her (surely if I left her for him it would be a different story but I am pretty sure this is one-sided and I could never leave my girlfriend for him.
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male
reader, CMMP +, writes (31 August 2013):
How about you stop hiding who you are, come out to her (who is she to judge?) and suggest a threesome? Maybe you'd love it.
I just think that some bisexuals can never be happy with only one sex. And unlike a straight threesome, both of you would get something out of it.
Just an idea to think about.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2013): The core of your interest in the guy, is your sexual attraction. You have a girlfriend, and there is no innocence behind your connection with him. You have the hots for him.
I suggest that you keep it right where it is. I don't advise that you go out; unless you bring your girlfriend along. Just be sure of one thing. She will notice the chemistry; because it will be quite evident. Crushes are really very hard to conceal.
I think you should just let your crush run it's course; and keep a safe distance out of respect for your relationship.
If your sexual attraction for men is getting out of control; I strongly urge you to end the relationship, before you decide to act on your impulses.
Cheating is totally unnecessary. When you have reached a point that you want to follow your attraction to men, don't put a woman through all that crap. Claiming she is bisexual doesn't justify you considering a sneaky bromance with a coworker. The objective is SEX!
If you're evening the score for a past indiscretion on her part, you should have ended the relationship; not pretend it was forgiven. You don't lay it aside to make up for it at some given opportunity to your advantage. No tit for tat.
Keep the friendship friendly. Keep it light at work and stop acting like a horny school-boy.
If you want to switchover to weiners, give up the girlfriend first.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2013): Cheating of the mind is still cheating. You are cheating on your girlfriend by the simple fact that you are crushing and fantasizing about someone else. And if he gave you the green light, you would jump on the opportunity without thinking twice.
I think it is time to just come clean. You could be honest, tell her the truth and go from there. Or you could just break up with her without elaborating too much. I think honesty is the best policy.
This is something you need to address right away with your girlfriend before things get out of hand and you really end up hurting her and there is no going back.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (31 August 2013):
 Your coworker is also bisexual, if not gay. Normally males don't hug each other at work. The rules apply for everyone, gay or not. If you have feelings for anyone else outside of the relationship the only thing you could do is cut them out of your life. You said you would never leave your girlfriend for him so that means stopping all baby steps that would lead to an affair. Your girlfriend wouldn't mind you hanging out with him because she doesn't know you are bisexual. Anything you have to hide from your girlfriend is cheating. If it becomes too painful for you to suppress your gay desires then maybe a monogamous relationship is not for you.
You try to convince yourself this is just an innocent friendship. The next time you hang out with him it will be more than a hug, I can assure you.
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