A
male
age
41-50,
*uttyMon
writes:Ive had a girl friend for 7 years and I am still quite in love with her.roughly 4 years ago we broke up as she wanted space and wanted to see someone else for a while Typical “Grass is greener on the other side” situation which I totally agreed on since I knew that we dated from a young age and wanted to give her the experience to make a choice. I didn’t talk to her and left her to her devices even though it was soo hard I could barely live my life. So after roughly 3 month of breakup im well on my own and accepted everything for what it was and then I saw her at a friends. I think it was intentionally done though. So we spoke and then we went on dates again and eventually became an awesome couple with an even better relationship then before.We already had insane history on ups and downs so it wasn’t to hard to get back. We carried on for roughly 2.7 years. Our trouble started when we both got busy with studies really intensely. We didn’t see each other for roughly 2 weeks at a time and NEVER got money or time to do something nice. AND gone went the feelings from her side. We have been split up for roughly 2 weeks and its tearing my guts out because I know EXACTLY what we have done wrong. I said it but I know emotional woman rarely ever see what you see with all the emotions going on. I saw this coming for roughly 3 months and just didn’t realize that I should act right now to stop it from happening. She has some really bad communication skills and never told me what was wrong and that was part of the reason things built up until she had “Subconsciously” no other choice then to become NUMBED out emotionally to her feelings for me. I know now that it will come back and she will probably miss me and want to come back if shes a little less numbed. unfortunately she reached out to other guys again but nothing serious. They only talked because she had to have release somewhere. Anyway should I give this girl another chance?I know from connections that she broke down and couldn’t eat or sleep or work on her studies. She made a spontaneous mistake while we where going through a dip even though she said she has been feeling like this for a while I know that she tends to Stack all the bad things and also doesn’t seem like she remembers the good things.Anyway please help
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male
reader, adaminio  +, writes (21 August 2013):
I know how you feel.. had a similar thing happen to me.. call me old fashioned but if you love love somebody.. you.don't wanna be with anybody else.. I wouldn't mate . Your setting yourself up again.
A
male
reader, PuttyMon +, writes (21 August 2013):
PuttyMon is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys.
I kind understand how she feels though.
About 5 months ago I dwindled and also though that I have no feelings left for her for about 2 weeks and I reached out to other girls but just talking and NEVER seducing for signaling. But then I looked at my girl friend and told myself "What the hell are you doing dude?" my feelings came back so intensely I felt like I loved her even more then I ever did.
I know this is stupid but I am willing to try and give it another go and just set the rules and reasons IN early on.
I know what people/girls are like when they are emotional- "They dont understand what they are feeling and also dont know why they are feelings it or know what to do about it." ?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2013): I think it's time for you to move on. She has broken up with you, twice. she just doesn't seem capable of sustaining a long term relationship.
I don't buy that "I knew exactly what we did wrong so we should try again". Just because you know what went wrong does not mean you can just go back and 're-do' it right this time because it's not just you but another person involved and you can't control someone else's behavior. You can only speak for yourself to say what YOU did wrong and that you would change it if you had another chance. you have no way to know if SHE would do things different or even want to. Probably she wouldn't.
it sounds to me like she just wants to see other guys, that's what happened the first time, and looks like she's doing it again.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (21 August 2013):
 When a person wants to the relationship to work she will try to remember the good times. She has to be willing to be patient that one day both of you will have enough to get married. If she's the same age as you and she thinks like the average woman, she will be anxious to have her baby and settle down. She is struggling whether to wait for you or to date others. She also would hate to waste precious years with you since both of you put in effort together.
My understanding that your status is still broken up and you are the one who's working harder. Feelings can be strong but without a solid earning potential a relationship hardly goes anywhere.
If she's still keeping you on a string, of course she is going to tell you she's only reaching out to guys, just to talk. You offer her emotional support and that's good enough for her now. But for you you want something more.
I think it is good to focus just on yourself and building your career. When you work hard and have good intentions, nothing is ever wasted.
I don't know what you study and what you intend to become, but only give her a chance if she shows faith in you.
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