A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Hi there, I started watching porn from a young age (11 years old) and stopped when I was thirteen and was wondering now, has porn ruined my life? I feel like it's disturbed me from a young age, I only realised when I was about 12 years old; I knew more about sex than everyone else my age. I'm 14 now and have a great remorse for doing such a thing!!I've stopped now, but the images are still there. When I look at fit guys I think of having sex with them. Even sometimes I imagine dirty things like objects that look wrong (not sure if that's part of being a normal teenager). And sometimes I randomly imagine people naked. Anyone. Even teachers!!(I have a crush on one now!) I'm not a slut though, I'm a virgin and plan on staying one till marriage. I'm worried if I have children I might think wrongly of them because of porn. Without a doubt I love babies and children, I get on well with them and think they are adorable. I don't plan on discussing this with anyone. I just want to have less dirty thoughts again. I'm a hard worker at school, want to do well and become a teacher. What can I do to put an end to all these distorted thoughts, or has porn really ruined my life?
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (20 August 2013):
 I suggest that you go through your submittal and substitute the word "comedy" for every time that you've used the word "porn" or "sex"...... See if that doesn't put a different light you your question.....
Good luck.....
A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (20 August 2013):
Dear OP,
As Janniepeg and the others already said, your life is not ruined.
A certain amount of sexual thoughts and wishes is already normal at your age and would probably happen even if you'd never watched porn. Of course, you'd lack the detailed images, but you would probably still fantasize about men and sex and other people being naked.
You're in the middle of puberty so this might be new to you, but having sexual thoughts and imagining sex is part of adult life. It's normal. Sometimes it's disturbing and might distract you, but that's also normal, you can get used to this and find a way to deal with it in a healthy way. Also, sex is not dirty per se, so thinking about sex is not just a "dirty" thing. In the end, none of us would be here without sexuality. It's a deeply rooted force in us and it belongs to being a grown up and being able to reproduce.
You can become a loving mother and a great teacher. Don't be so hard on yourself and don't beat yourself up about this. You are young and curious, so you watched porn. Who didn't? I know that guilty feeling after watching it, so I stopped too and it was a good decision. But it's definitely something you do for yourself, you don't have to worry that you'll be a bad person because of it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone, especially janniepeg, no, im not a pedo and I don't watch child porn, that's wrong Lol, but thanks anyway :D
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (20 August 2013):
When I was your age I never watched porn, yet somehow when I walked in a busy area all I would see was bouncing boobs and tight pants.
I used to think I can't wait to get married so I can constantly have sex.
It's called hormones, it's not from porn. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, babyzbird  +, writes (20 August 2013):
 No, porn has not ruined your life. I use to masturbate at a very young age myself.
Like janniepeg suggested; try to focus on other things. Maybe focus on nature or animals? I always loved horses and as a child would often think about them.
Concentrate on a hobby perhaps? Drawing, painting, reading, cooking...etc.
I know it's upsetting but what you are going through is perfectly normal and is nothing to feel ashamed about.
Good Luck hon!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2013): Seriously? Just chill out. You're not damaged and your life isn't ruined. You're only 14.You're at an age where you have a childish idealized view of morals, but you're becoming sexually aware and have desires. Even if you had never seen porn, you'd be having sexual thought. It's entirely natural.And on being a virgin until you're married. I hate to burst your bubble, but it's not going to happen. You'll get older, you'll feel differently when you're ready. Nobody but the saddest most desperate man would ever want a woman that frigid these days.Keep in mind you're only 14. You're too young to have ruined your life, and if you do it's going to be through some much larger decision than watching some people have sex. 99% of children are curious about sex, not what ruins lives.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (19 August 2013):
 I was very horny at age 15 and watched porn probably as much as you did. I think the only thing that could be damaging is feeling guilty afterwards. You have to train yourself to concentrate in school. Listen carefully what the teacher is saying, what your classmates are saying. Yes, even for boring subjects. Make your teachers happy by paying attention. Rather than push dirty thoughts away, try to always remember that people are not objects, they have feelings and they don't like to be stared at. If a male teacher caught you staring at his crotch you would be very embarrassed and it's best to avoid that. Keep all your thoughts in private. You may have to wait till everyone's asleep and to satisfy your needs if you wake up in the middle of the night.
Porn did not ruin my night but I did expected a lot from real life people, who are not as trained as them. When you become sexually active you will realize most people are not as good or look good as actors.
You don't have to feel like the odd one out. A lot of people your age experience horniness. They just don't talk about it.
When you say you are worried how you view children, does that mean to view them in a sexual way? Porn is not going to make you a pedophile. I am assuming you are not looking at child porn?
You respond strongly to visual stimuli and is surprised by how much it affected your life. However porn does not have the power to alter your whole being, and make you abnormal. It brings out your sexual side and make you aware of pleasure potential. The important thing is that you know how to manage your time. It's good to have strong interests and goals so that porn does not become an addiction.
If porn can ruin lives, then a large percentage of the population won't function and have to go to therapy.
There are certainly cases where porn ruined marriages but they belong to people who are insensitive to their spouse and refuse to stop when asked to. You are more powerful than porn and can stop when you worry too much about it. You can choose to redirect your attention to healthier, creative things.
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