A
male
age
30-35,
*andom123
writes:Ill keep this as simple a possible, just a little lost. My girlfriends sex drive, passion, affection is dimming to damn near nothing. She is a few years older than me. I'm 24 she is 27. We do not live together but she does stay with me at my house most of the time. ( I have my own house.) I've been with her for 3 years and all of bam all those things damn near died. I do not pressure her, Im the same guy I was from day one. I'm honest, passionate, caring, totally self sufficient. I do not fight with her unless I know I'm right and that is when it comes to big important things. I do not understand where all this is coming from. That spark is dying and I don't know why. I try talking to her, telling her how that makes me feel. Which honestly I'm at a breaking point. She says she has a lot in her mind from work and kids. Now I know she does a lot at home, I pitch in at the house. I even do more so she has less if nothing to do so she can relax! It is hard for me to admit how I feel as a guy. Even harder for me to tell her. But I do. I have not had sex in 3 months! I don't bitch about that, sex doesn't make a relationship. But it's just one big way for me to feel connected to her. She is the best a guy can have and then some. She says she still loves me and wants me, so where is this coming from. It's hard for me to even kiss her with her rejecting me. I feel as if she is just telling me In her head to just hurry up and get it over with. I honestly don't know what I'm doing wrong. I know woman are built differently, passion and all that good stuff is a process that builds up. I'm just lost, I'm actually breaking down and asking for advice off a website. I'm not needy, I don't beg, just confused. I keep things fresh between us. Your thoughts please!
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a break, sex drive, spark Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2013): Previous posters, i feel its a bit far fetched to conclude she wants a marriage proposal. What gives you that idea? Kudos if you're right but i just dont see where you got that from.
Op, you need to ask her how she feels about this relationship and she should be honest, not try to be patronising with you. She might want a break, she might be tired of the relationship. Talk and find out what's bothering her.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2013): Both posters hit it dead on.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (27 August 2013):
 It could be true that she is waiting for you to propose. It's true that men are not mind readers but rarely a woman is going to ask you to marry her. They feel that if they have to be the ones opening their mouths it is too late.
She is at your house most of your time. Is it because you don't visit hers? How many times, if any, have you seen her children? Does she care that you see them? If not is it because she never thought the relationship is serious anyway? I think it is odd that after 3 years you are not already acting some kind of father role.
Not having sex for three months seems like emotionally checking out. It is more than just the spark fading. You need to reassess the relationship. You need more than just a long foreplay as a solution, rather a talk about where this relationship is heading.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2013): You've been together three years. She is losing hope in the relationship, and where it's going. Which, in her mind, may be nowhere.
She is expecting you to present her with a ring and a marriage proposal. When you see any relationship pushing two years (and counting); most women feel it should be heading toward marriage. If she was a divorcee, she may not be as eager about it. That doesn't mean she doesn't think about the next level of the relationship. She doesn't plan to be someone's girlfriend until she's 30.
She is weighing her options and watching the calendar. She is at the "sh*t or get off the pot" stage in the relationship. She wants to know if she's going to be your wife, or what.
Oh, she'll pretend that's not what she wants. Sometimes women even talk like it's something they don't want for several years; but they want you to show some enthusiasm about it.
She sees nothing to look forward to in the relationship; so she's cutting off your love supply. It's to get your attention.
Yeah, she's tired alright. Tired of being a girlfriend and ready to be a bride. I guarantee she has been talking to her mother, sisters, and girlfriends. They have asked her when you're going to give her a ring.
Now sit and think about it. When did she last bring up the conversation, and did you just dismiss it? Did she act like it wasn't really important. She's full of crap. It's all she thinks about.
So, sit down and ask her what the real problem is. Shut up and listen. She isn't tired, she's cutting you off.
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