A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I went out with this guys a couple of times last week. We seemed perfect for each other, had many similar qualities and understood each other. He always told me how cute I was and that I even made him nervous because I was so amazing. When we kissed, it was so sensual, I've never been kissed so softly in my life. He went out of town for a week but kept messaging me almost every day, asking how I was and saying he wanted to see me. Two days ago, he asked if I would like to meet up and I told him we should get together when he comes back on Saturday and he agreed. I hadn't heard anything from him yesterday so I messaged him asking how he was. Its been a day and no reply, he usually responds to me within 15 minutes.What the hell happened? I really liked him and now I feel very hurt and confused. Maybe he felt we were moving too fast but why not just tell me instead of leading me on? I really hate men sometimes. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (2 December 2013):
 so you supposedly have plans for this saturday?
well if you don't hear from him by wednesday then it's probably off....
the issue with only having contact via phone is what if his phone got stolen or lost or broken... how would he know to get in touch with you?
I swear if I lost my phone I'd lose almost every phone number I need... we don't keep phone books any more.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2013): Hi there! Men only disappear because their not serious about seriously getting involved with women.
Men can sensed whether you are on the same page or not, say he just want to have some fun, but you don't. So what they normally do, to let us know about it, is by not meeting our expectation. Sometimes, we have the tendency to misinterpret their actions.
Just because he have done something nice, it doesn't mean the man were interested in feels the same way for us. It hurts but that's the way they are.
When a man is sincerely interested to get involved with you, even if you ask for the moon, it will be possible for him to do anything just to be with you.
But if his not, this things happens. He disappears out of nowhere, with no explanation, just a silent treatment. If I were you, try hard to forget your feelings for him, because if you can't count on him with little things, how much more on really important things for you?
Remember, the only time you should really make an effort to show you care is once your sure his for real or your on the same page. If not. Don't pay attention, to smooth talking and meaningless kisses.
Men can kiss you today and forget about you tomorrow. Am i being harsh? I don't think so, just being realistic. This is how it really works now.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2013): He may prefer to be the pursuer. He likes to initiate communication. Sometimes a guy just isn't in the mood to be charming and romantic. Just be a guy.You may allay most doubt by asking straight-out if he's married.There can only be generalized answers here; because only he can speak for himself.Why are you so anxious? Don't get so caught up in a few kisses and sweet-talk. That's nothing to build a ton of feelings about. Now you're going through dopamine withdrawal; because your text wasn't returned within 15 minutes. He may only be priming you up. Stay a little on guard, don't be so easily wooed. "Hard to get" is a game played by school girls. What I'm suggesting, is that you just be more reserved with your feelings. Wait for him to show more emotional interest that you can clearly recognize. If it's sketchy, and he's sending mixed signals. He's not that into you.The only thing consistent about men is inconsistency. By being inconsistent, we guys maintain flexibility in a relationship. We are able to stretch and move. When are more likely to make up an excuse for being unavailable. It most often is a flat out lie. Men just don't answer the phone.I'll argue anyone to the ground; to say either one of you doesn't have the right to take a breather. He may just be stepping back to assess his feelings. He may have had a few drinks and got caught up in the moment, and sent out more signals than intended. That happens.Sometime we guys let things get hot and heavy, then let up to allow everyone to snap back to reality and clarity. He can't always come on like prince charming, and I'd be suspicious of it if he did. I'm gay, and I know male behavior from different angles or perspectives.We approach with interest and intensity. We keep our balance by pulling back unexpectedly. There are goons who just like playing games between women (or other guys). Men also have to loosen you up to make sex more available.The key to handling that, is keeping a cool head; and a mental diary of how frequently we receive "dead air."A total disappearance means no signs of life for days. Not responding to a message, is "dead air."If he comes back with a plausible explanation and sincere apology, a "small dose" of forgiveness is in order. There has to be a pattern of behavior to form any concern.If most weekends, you get no response; and get no explanation of his absence, put your feelings on hold. Let sex become scarce. The less you see him, the less likely the availability of sex. Sex is a reward. If there's nothing to reward a guy for, then no sex. If he totally disappears after that. You got your reason.He's probably married, or seeing someone else on the side. Always check the ring-finger for the imprint.
...............................
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (1 December 2013):
 I am going to generalize but women are more consistent with timing because men seem to need more time to recharge and disconnect then come back to you while women don't find a need to disconnect. Also on Sundays he may be sleeping in or attending church. One of the biggest frustration in women is that men promise the moon, building your anticipation, and then, he needs a break because time is on his terms. Give him few more days and if you don't get a reply from him just write him off as a dreamer, a bluffer or attached to someone else.
...............................
|
