A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I've known I had some form of depression since high school, but it wasn't that bad, so I didn't seek treatment. I discussed it with my husband before we got married, although he comes from a background where mental illnesses are sort of brushed under the rug and he didn't seem to fully comprehend what it meant. He accepted it anyways, and things were great. Fast forward a few years, and the depression has gotten gradually worse. It manifested into paranoia, anxiety and jealousy. I began to think of divorce because for some unexplained reason, I felt like I could no longer trust my husband. I had the realization that maybe something was really wrong with me so I sought professional help; I was diagnosed with rapid cycle bipolar II, which is a 'less' severe form of manic depression. My husband doesn't know. I really need to get on medication, because the disorder is slowly destroying me from the inside out, but we're in a not so favorable financial situation...I don't know how to tell my husband...How should I bring this sort of thing up?
View related questions:
divorce, jealous Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Caring Aunty A  +, writes (30 November 2013):
 How to tell your Husband…
No doubt your husband likes to watch Movies, listen to music and has a favourite? Perhaps you could bring it up by putting on a DVD/CD with one of those who have Bipolar and casually say; “guess what I have in common with [name of artist]?” “Would you believe they suffer from depression, Bipolar… like me!?”
Let it sink in and see what he does or say; and take it from there to explain your need for this medication now as to before when you didn’t clearly know what was going on inside… Include some information on this diagnosis as mentioned as he needs to fully comprehend what’s going on with your health.
I believe there should be no fear or argument when it comes to paying for ones health and well-being needs; this is a priority spending over e.g. cool tech gadgets and anything thing else that can wait.
If he’s worried about the social stigma of mental illness in his marriage to you, it is not your fault, but generally bred through his up-bringing and or ignorance of the facts and not fully comprehending the world around him. It’s not a matter of anyone wanting to advertise this to the world; it can be kept private, but not neglected – brushed under the rug. As all rugs need to be vacuumed eventually.
Good for you for seeking professional help, as it’s a step in the right direction towards recovery and normal living :)
Take Care – CAA
A
female
reader, Brokenv  +, writes (30 November 2013):
If you don't take care of your physical, emotional and mental health, you are not only hurting your husband but you are also hurting yourself.
You husband married you for better or worse. Don't bring the worse out and destroy your marriage and your self image. YOu have a long life ahead of you and if you (like your husband's past-sweep it under the rug)bury your head in the sand you are going to lose. Life is about challenges, Life is about struggles, Life is about climbing those mountains, but when you have those days of glory it is nice to have someone who loves you to enjoy those sweet and victorious days too!
Get the support and help you need!
...............................
A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (30 November 2013):
 Your husband lives with you and he knows what you are like. It's not like a label would enlighten him further. He can stay married to you and assure you he's not going anywhere but as far as help, the internet will be more of a help than your husband. Before you go the medication route, try cognitive therapy. Read books and get as much free information as you can. What happens when people start medication is that while the symptoms are calmed, they develop eating and sleeping problems, and your sex life is goodbye. You could barely manage your symptoms but you won't have much of a marriage. Do some soul searching and find out what your life purpose is. Some people find it better to be single than to have a daily trigger of anxiety, such as a spouse.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2013): There isn't an easy way so you just got to do it. I suggest going out to dinner at a quiet restaurant so that he has your full attention - unlike at home where he can simply get up ame leave the room or turn on the TV etc. Also being in a restaurant I'm public he is less likely to make a scene if he is that sort or person.Begin by telling him about the problems you noticed in yourself - the paranoia and anxiety and jealousy. Explain how you had thoughts or divorce. Does he even know this? Then explain the diagnosis. It should hopefully come as a relief after the shock of hearing how you almost divorced him for no reason. I suggest that you print out articles in advance to show him Articles that talk about bipolar as a mental illness, stats on mental illness and treatment recovery rates and so on. Talk about it as if everyone accepts it as a medical condition, don't seek his opinion on whether he thinks its a legitimate medical condition or not. Refer to it in clinical terms indicating that it is not up for discussion as to whether it is a real medical condition or not. I hope you will find a way to get the medical treatment that you need. If necessary cut back on your spending, or sell your possessions off to get quick cash. Treat this as if you had a physical condition like heart disease. Because left untreated the effects will be devastating with real consequences.Good luck.
...............................
|
