A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I've started dating this girl who is so beautiful, funny and one of the sweetest girls i've met she's so down to earth and adorably innocent but daring if you understand that. She told me the other day on our second date she's had a nose job, now I also knew from our first date that she wears hair extensions. But she wears them for thickness, so she hasn't gone drastic like some girls and draped long her onto her head inches longer than her own. It's the same length as her own, but it's just extra hair for thickness so I don't feel she's deceived too much there.But the nose job, she's had the bump taken out and I knew her before and I definitely thought she was beautiful then too. It wasn't until I said something looks different about her (which i thought because i hadn't seen her in a while she just changed) and so I wasn't sure what. Then she said it was her nose. She looks so much better for it, it's softened her face and really brings her features out! What is great, is that face on she doesn't look different to before. She looks like the same beautiful girl with a slight change that's not even noticeable unless I really knew her, so I don't feel the nose job changed her to look like a different person. The issue is, my sister and best mate said do I want to be dating a girl who has had a nose job and wears extensions, that she's too fake and deceiving too much. But I thought, she's been honest about it and it's not like she had a nose job that changed her appearance to look like a different person, it's very natural and she looks the same really. She's a nice girl as I said and she's not arrogant or superficial so I don't feel that just because she wears extensions and had surgery that she's this fake, shallow girl.What are your guys opinions, would you date a girl who had a nose job and wears extensions? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (4 December 2013):
 Suppose this woman had been in an accident, when she was a teenager, and one of her front teeth had been damaged, and she had a crown replacement. Do you suppose that your sister and best mate would tell you that she was, thereby, "fake?" ... and would you listen to them under those circumstances?
Who is running your life?
Good luck...
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2013): Date her if you like her. The opinions of others does not matter. She's been honest with you about the nose job and the hair extensions, so she's not being "deceiving" as your sister and best friend said.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (3 December 2013):
 You think she looks great.. so why does it even matter what your sister and best mate think? DO you choose your clothes to make them happy? Do you choose the food you eat to make them happy? Why in the world would choosing your partner be any different?
Everyone has given you GREAT advice. I can’t improve on the advice. Would I date a guy who wore glasses or contacts? I’m married to one. He also waxes his eyebrows so they are not overgrown… is that making him a fake?
PHONY ME from the top down: highlights and color, waxed eyebrows, makeup both face and eyes, waxed facial hair breast lift, tummy tuck, SPANX as needed… nail polish (acrylic nails) on fingers and toes… earrings adorn my ears, jewelry around my neck, rings on my fingers, (sorry no bells on my toes)…. I guess I’m even MORE phony than your lovely sounding young lady. (and some of the aunts here have seen my picture and I am pretty sure they can attest to my not looking robotic or phony)
It sounds to me like the sister and best mate are picking up a vibe that says “we are losing him to this girl and we don’t like change”…..
Live well and ignore the haters.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (3 December 2013):
 Laugh them in their face and tell them they are being ridicolous. What, do they belong to a sect or something ? One which says that you can't ever change or improve your looks once you are out of puberty ?
Because by their line of thinking, if you have been a chubby child and a chubby teenager and then at some point you lose 30 pounds and become slim, then you are "fake "- the " real " you was fat. Or if you have grown waist length hair then eventually decide to chop it off, then you are fake, because you made changes to something which was already there.
If you wear heels or paint your nails, you are fake- you add inches and colours that aren't there in nature.
If you got bushy eyebrows you've got to keep them bushy I suppose, you can't tweeze them a little.
You can't pass from glasses to contact lenses, I suppose, - as a matter of fact, you can't even wear glasses to begin with, because your real, natural face was without !
what about shaving ? does your sister shave her armpits ot does she let the hair grow all nice and tangly ( and sweaty ) as it is in nature ? What about deodorant ? deodorant adds a "fake " smell, are they against deodorant too ? Are people who apply deodorant all shallow and superficial ?..
Conclusion- they are just being silly- and nosy too . Invite them kindly but firmly to butt out of your dating choices.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (3 December 2013):
 *something
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (3 December 2013):
Your friend and sister are just jealous. Come on, what is it to them who you date? That is your business. When people stick their noses in like that it is because they want to ruin it. They dont want you to be with.her, for their own selfish reasons. Your sister is probably jealous of her beauty. Your friend is probably jealous that you get to date her. Date whoever YOU want. You alone decide what is worth sething to you. Dont listen to jealous and selfish people around you. Really, what's it to them who you date??
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2013): I think calling her fake, is over-judging this young woman. I can't throw a rock these days without hitting a female wearing a weave or hair extensions. It's a popular fashion trend for women. They all have the option to have long thick luxurious locks without waiting years to grow it. That's more convenient than fake, I'd say.Young women are highly pressured to be fashionable, slim, and beautiful. If they have the financial means and opportunity to change their most disliked feature, few would turn down the opportunity. There are far more extreme surgical procedures that make women look fake. Nose jobs are the least noticeable. Balloons for boobs might fall in the line of fake. Anything that looks unnatural. If the hump in her nose made her self-conscious, and it was but a subtle improvement. Why would anyone consider that fake? People used to stare at her nose to the degree she felt she had to change it. Not to mention the cruelty of children or teens, who can't seem to miss any human imperfection. If people were more accepting and less judgmental, no one would go to such extremes. You'll be judged if you do, and judged if you don't.Follow your heart. You know her inside and out. Negative opinions about nice people is usually a sign of envy.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 December 2013):
 Seriously?
I know at least 4 women in the 35+ age group that wears extensions, you wouldn't know it to look at the hair, but their have them. It doesn't make them fake, it makes them happy to be able to have the hair they WANTED to have. I have two friend who had nose job (both for medical reason though, but still...) Most down to Earth women I know.
Women who dye their hair, are they fake too? Those who wear make up? Get their nails done?
As for having a nose job, she had a bump removed and now she is fake?
I think you need to think a little deeper, why be a shallow Hal?
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A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (3 December 2013):
 Just because she's had plastic surgery doesn't mean she is fake. There could be plenty of reasons why she had the surgeries performed. Maybe she had a birth defect, maybe it was oddly shaped, or maybe she just wants to look her best.
Sadly, there could be other reasons why: insecurities or an obsession with perfection. This could also mean she wants to be the center of attention -- no matter what the cost.
It is still too early to make a decision on this as you've only gone out a few times, but I think knowing what you know, may clue you into a deeper motive for these painful and expensive procedures.
For me, it could be a red flag for deeper problems, but it certainly wouldn't prevent from seeing what is there.
Eddie
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2013): As long as you don't keep finding out every other date that her stomach is fake or her ass is fake or her boobs are fake I think it's fine. You like her, she's told you about it, and it shouldn't really make any difference in terms of your relationship
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (3 December 2013):
 Plastic surgery is widely accepted. She's not fake. She just enhanced her features. Girls nowadays can't escape altering their appearance. Freckles are bad, short eyelashes are dull, untrimmed brows are messy, unstyled hair looks plain. No one calls makeup fake though. If you want to be noticed and make a good impression we have to do something. Wanting to look good itself is a real desire. Sounds like two people are jealous here.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (3 December 2013):
 There are people who don't wear makeup or get their hair cut by a professional. Then there are people who take advantage of every enhancement to achieve a certain look or maintain what they think is a youthful look. In the US, it's common to have braces to straighten teeth. In the UK, it's not.
Sounds like your girlfriend falls somewhere in between the "absolutely natural will never do anything to augment or change the face and body I've been given, including pluck my whiskers and eyebrow hairs or even shave" and the women who can't leave the house without consulting their plastic surgeon.
I assume your sister and best mate don't do anything which is fake, like plucking eyebrow hairs or shaving, getting highlights or wearing makeup? Because then they clearly are judging from a position of absolute righteousness.
Otherwise, they are engaging in judgmental crapola and may not be your best guide in choosing the best girlfriend for you.
If you like her and she's a nice person then what's the problem?
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