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... Send *anniepeg a private message | | | *anniepeg's profile:I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.
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BF of 4 years. Our sex life was phenomenal. So why is he now choosing Porn over me? I need advice please
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years now and we have been living together for the past year and a half. Up until two months ago our sex life was phenomenal; we would have sex almost every day, and sometimes more than once. However we suddenly...
A. 31 December 2013: There is a correlation between frequent porn viewing and depression. Can you tell us what that rough patch is about? Everyone has stress in their lives so I am not sure if you can blame it on just stress. Did something happen to him or is it like a ... (read in full...)
After one awful attempt at sex with my ex, how do I prepare for my current boyfriend?
Q. I recently entered a new relationship after being in a long term one for the majority of high school. I had sex once with my ex, to be blunt it was awful. I couldn't even feel him inside of me because there was so much pain. We were intimate ...
A. 28 December 2013: The first answer is always the bottom one.... (read in full...)
After being so independant I now hate to be alone!
Q. So lately ive been feeling very strange. I feel like im a new person? I look at myself in the mirror and i just feel different, its hard to explain. Its not that i dont recognize myself, its that i feel different. I also have started to question ...
A. 26 December 2013: The journey to self awareness starts with learning how to put feelings into words. Many agony aunts have the ability to write so eloquently because they read a lot. When you read people's stories sometimes you relate and a bulb lights up in your ... (read in full...)
Am I overthinking because of guilt or did he really care?
Q. I had been dating my ex-bf for 8 months before he dumped me saying "we are comfortable but it doesnt mean it's going anywhere.". when I asked him if he figured he wanna break up with me two weeks before (which is when I felt like he started becoming ...
A. 26 December 2013: I think most people think for weeks before breaking up. At 8 months though, if a man gets distant it usually means it's not going anywhere leading to a long term relationship. He can have feelings towards you but he is not doing enough, or willing ... (read in full...)
After being so independant I now hate to be alone!
Q. So lately ive been feeling very strange. I feel like im a new person? I look at myself in the mirror and i just feel different, its hard to explain. Its not that i dont recognize myself, its that i feel different. I also have started to question ...
A. 26 December 2013: Being in a love relationship changes your brain chemicals. Look up dopamine and oxytocin. These chemicals make you feel bad when you don't see your girlfriend enough. People who experience them the first time feel like they are addicted to the high ... (read in full...)
After one awful attempt at sex with my ex, how do I prepare for my current boyfriend?
Q. I recently entered a new relationship after being in a long term one for the majority of high school. I had sex once with my ex, to be blunt it was awful. I couldn't even feel him inside of me because there was so much pain. We were intimate ...
A. 26 December 2013: You know what foreplay is and you had been turned on before. Maybe the guys you had been with are well endowed. You may want to play with small dildos at first and work your way to bigger ones. I mean, you use tampons and I find them painful to use ... (read in full...)
Does this mean I'm not in love with my fiance? Am I meant to be with my old manager?
Q. Urgently need some advice please... A few years back I worked as a PA to several managers- I got on with 1 manager in particular and everyone in the office used to tease me saying he had a soft spot for me. The truth is I fancied him like...
A. 26 December 2013: Your manager has just divorced so he won't be looking for a relationship. Your story would sound like a romance novel if only you weren't engaged. He saw a good opportunity to get laid after a dry spell. You don't get married to feel butterflies ... (read in full...)
I'd like our relationship to be more focussed on respect
Q. Hey I'm in need of some advice. I'm in a relationship with someone of 22 and I'm 17, the age gap isn't the issue. I feel like a sexual object sometimes and its really concerning me. We haven't been officially together for much over a month and are ...
A. 25 December 2013: You are in some kind of a relationship but you are not sure if it's heading towards a direction you like. It's normal for a guy at the beginning stages to be obsessed about sex. Once his desire is satiated he may begin to see the woman in you. The ... (read in full...)
No one's asked to be exclusive, so ...
Q. This question is for people who are okay with premarital sex: I am single and in college. I am sort of seeing two guys. I have had sex with both of them and have gone on lunch dates and have even stayed over at their houses as well as just "hanging ...
A. 25 December 2013: There is nothing technically wrong with having multiple partners, but it gets complicated when one of the guys wants a relationship and you agree. Then later he finds out you were sleeping with the other guy while with him. He has no right to be ... (read in full...)
BF of 4 years. Our sex life was phenomenal. So why is he now choosing Porn over me? I need advice please
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years now and we have been living together for the past year and a half. Up until two months ago our sex life was phenomenal; we would have sex almost every day, and sometimes more than once. However we suddenly...
A. 24 December 2013: He can't keep up with the pace. People are not wired to maintain the same intensity towards the same person day after day. For men it's more challenging because they depend on the ability to get an erection whereas women just need to have ... (read in full...)
Does she want to try again? Can someone give me some insight into what she is suggesting?
Q. Hi I'll try keep this short , about four month ago I pulled a girl in town and we started to see each other, she wanted to take it slow so I agreed with her as I really liked her, it went downhill when I introduced her on a night out to my best ...
A. 24 December 2013: When someone wants to take it slow, it usually means one of the two things: She just got out of a relationship and was still hurt, or she is still shopping around so nothing is definite yet. In this case it's the latter. You can assume she's after ... (read in full...)
Should I come out to him, or is he just being jokey?
Q. Hello, I'm having a little trouble. I'm 17 and Gay and I have this 18 year old "straight" friend. I've known this guy for about a year he used to go out with my old bestie. For a few months know he's being very flirtatious. Sending me topless ...
A. 22 December 2013: He is two faced towards his friends and your gay friends. He wants to know how he could play out this gay fantasy at the same time be seen as straight to the world. It will mean that you become a secret. I don't think you should come out to him. ... (read in full...)
He says he is not sure, and wants to take things slow.
Q. So the story is like this. I met this guy on this online website - okcupid. He was the one who messaged me first. Like all online interactions, we chatted a bit online for around three weeks...then we started talking over the phone...we have ...
A. 22 December 2013: I would suspect that he had a bad break up before and is still recovering. A new date helps him get confidence with the opposite sex and also helps him refresh his mind. For you it does nothing. It kind of leaves a bad impression to start off a ... (read in full...)
If men can't be trusted why do we even try?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 months. I've been with many guys before him and I know this sounds dumb but nobody else gave me this feeling of satisfaction and love that I get from being with him. This relationship feels different from ...
A. 22 December 2013: Reproductive history would tell you that women are not wired to be monogamous as well. That is why in many countries women's freedom is restricted. It's just that when men are promiscuous they are high fived but when women do it they get labeled as ... (read in full...)
He went cold, now months later he's hot again ...
Q. I am so confuse I meeT a Guy in 18 month ago he work as SAPS we date as couple since last year septenmber was very nice I was enjoy his campony until he ignore me this year march without letting me know the reason now his back hot without confarming ...
A. 22 December 2013: You have the right to know and since you dated he's obligated to tell you his whereabouts. I think he semi dated you to make you feel there is a relationship, then bailed out when it's convenient. He got hot again probably because he hit a dry ... (read in full...)
The online guy I talk to blows hot and cold!
Q. Hello, I have a bit of a dilemma. I have been talking to a guy online and we have really good conversations. He told me he is a bit shy and I told him I am too. He told me that he likes my photos a lot and he looks at them quite often. He ...
A. 22 December 2013: You both had mentioned about meeting for coffee so the last conversation was supposed to be about that because it's pointless to just talk about sex and not do it. For some reason he changed his mind. When that happens to me I just look for the next ... (read in full...)
Help! I think he likes me, what should I do?
Q. Basically, I met this guy in church along with his sister. He was really friendly, even though I was shy and awkward, and tried to start and conversation. He even introduced one of his friends to me and invited me to the youth church. On the days ...
A. 22 December 2013: You can get rid of the awkwardness by making small talks about his life and family. Once he knows that girls won't bite maybe he will get comfortable with you. You can also talk to your mom, tell her you know what she might be thinking but you just ... (read in full...)
It bothers me we do nothing together .....
Q. Hey everyone, So my boyfriend and I have been having some major issues. we've been fighting a lot! The major thing is we never do anything. this is our routine every day during the week. He works 11pm -7am and I work 11:30am-5:30pm. he gets off...
A. 22 December 2013: It would bother me too. He looks at family as important people he can't say no to but he takes you for granted. First figure out when he's going to switch it to a day time schedule. If it's not happening then tell him you think about ending it, then ... (read in full...)
He left when they were babies, and now wants to be "dad"!
Q. I live in (MOD NOTE: City was deleted for privacy) Florida and have 3 daughters; twins [non-identical] aged 23 and a 19-year-old daughter who is their half-sister born to my husband (the twins' stepdad). The twins were born in 1989, and the father ...
A. 22 December 2013: You didn't ask him where he's staying, or who he's staying for the night? Did he go to the convenience store then?
Driving across countries gives me a nightmare. Only crazy people would do it, without a guarantee of a result. Also driving an old ... (read in full...)
I promised my girlfriend to never kiss or do anything sexual with her or masturbate, any comments?
Q. I have no idea what to do or dont do. I made a few promises to my girlfriend and two of them are to never do anything sexual to her (including kissing) and never masterbate. Since my girlfriend thinks sex is gross and painful, I respected her ...
A. 22 December 2013: It is impractical to be making long term plans when you are 16. I'd had urges at 15, but it wasn't until I was 19 that I said to myself, "Sex will be painful, but it will be enjoyable later so I will just do it." Wait a few more years, then have a ... (read in full...)
He was still trying to see me while he has a girlfriend!
Q. I was dating my ex for 3 months, I broke it off with him. While I was being completely honest, faithful and trustworthy in the relationship he was not, he lied to me about not having social media sites and I basically caught him lying, not to ...
A. 21 December 2013: Texting him would be redundant. If he's capable of empathy then he wouldn't be using girls for an ego stroke. You have said all you could. People like that don't care if they hurt others, because it means they succeeded in making others fall for ... (read in full...)
He said he would have to think about whether he was serious about a relationship at all, now I'm confused about how to handle this!
Q. I met this guy online, we dated for for about 3 mos...and he honored my request to take it slow.. cos i really liked him and he likes me too.We would talk for hours..have intimate conversations and made out few times.He asked me if I would get ...
A. 20 December 2013: If I am brave enough to guess, that he wants to make sure the sex is good (in both quantity and quality) then he would consider a serious relationship. Sex goes both ways so there is a possibility that he is anxious about his performance and how you ... (read in full...)
What do women in particular think of a guy who's 30 and never had a girlfriend?
Q. Anyway, I want to hear some opinions. Guys are welcome to comment, but I think that girls may be able to offer me some valuable insight as to what exactly my problem is, and whether or not anything can be done about it. I've always been rath...
A. 18 December 2013: Many people had been bullied in school and that's not really a reason for never having a girlfriend. I think it's less off putting if a guy only had short term flings than nothing at all, not even a kiss. It has nothing to do with respect either. I ... (read in full...)
When are you ready to settle down? How do you know?
Q. How do you know when you're ready to settle down? I want someone to come home to every night, to be there for my son and I, but I still look at all these attractive men and think wow. I have so many options. I'm seeing a sweet, kind, amazing man who ...
A. 18 December 2013: When you date him long enough and you figure out that your goals match, in terms of how many more children would you have, how he and your son get along, do you have common interests, etc. You find him attractive. When you find the right match all ... (read in full...)
If it's true love, will he ever get bored of me?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 months. I've been with many guys before him and I know this sounds dumb but nobody else gave me this feeling of satisfaction and love that I get from being with him. This relationship feels different from ...
A. 18 December 2013: It's hard to define true love. Society defines it by honoring vows, hanging onto one person, paying effort even when passion dies, then it's true love. True love can also mean being true to yourself and letting love go when it no longer serves any ... (read in full...)
I am obsessing over his ex!
Q. Hello, I've been dating a guy for around 6 months now and I am completely in love with him. He is unlike anyone I have ever met before. I would even go as far as to say that he is my ideal man. My background is that I was in a 7 year relations...
A. 17 December 2013: There is really nothing you do. You imagine the worst case scenario that she really was "better" than you, and that he's still thinking about her (which is unlikely). Then you accept this worst case scenario and tell yourself that even if it's true, ... (read in full...)
Met a girl, suddenly she's super cold towards me
Q. I met a girl would a month ago through some mutual friends. We talked for a bit and exchanged numbers. We started texting daily and I began the long study period for my law school exams, so my social life became nonexistent. After about tw...
A. 17 December 2013: I don't think she's the right girl for you. She's very pushy when she wants it and when she doesn't have time for you then you should just disappear. When you got together by her request she did not care about leaving a good impression but instead ... (read in full...)
How do I tell him that I don't love him?
Q. My ex boyfriend and I are very close. We dated for almost two years in college and have both been with other people afterwards. We recently started seeing each other again, I was under the impression that it would be a casual relationship and have ...
A. 17 December 2013: I would not be in this situation because it's more humane to let him go and cut contact. He's sleeping with you hoping that you would fall back in love with him. You won't ever feel physically attracted to him and what you are doing is just ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't like gay people
Q. My boyfriend has some troubling attitudes on life, and I don't know what I can do (if anything) about it. The one that comes to the forefront more often than others is that he dislikes gay people. Not to the point where he would commit hate crim...
A. 15 December 2013: The brothers might not be adopted. Many lesbian moms (sometimes both of them) get pregnant by willing men. His brother got the gay gene while he gots the recessive gene. The parents are not to be blamed by prejudice. If not sexual orientation there ... (read in full...)
Is she seeing a friend or a date?
Q. So recently I met this Asian girl at a friends house and we all had dinner. We had a few drinks and got chatting. We had a lot of fun together and she told me something personal. Soon after it was cut short and it was time to go home. I walked her ...
A. 15 December 2013: I think you are a date but you don't want her to get too comfortable though. She knows you are not an asshole so far but a little bit of suspense is good. You are still getting to know each other so a potential relationship is still faraway.... (read in full...)
I kissed another man, now my husband wants to sleep with someone to "get even"
Q. I've been married for 3 years and together for 6. I love my husband but we have had our issues in the past I cheated on him 6 months into our relationship by kissing another man he also touched my breasts. Nothing else happened and all contact with ...
A. 15 December 2013: A marriage means that a person gets over the past and starts with a clean slate, that's ideally. He suppressed his feelings and married you hoping that things would straighten itself out. After 3 years of marriage he feels that he didn't get a good ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't like gay people
Q. My boyfriend has some troubling attitudes on life, and I don't know what I can do (if anything) about it. The one that comes to the forefront more often than others is that he dislikes gay people. Not to the point where he would commit hate crim...
A. 15 December 2013: It's too much of a challenge to act as his therapist. His parents love him and raised him. When he spreads hate about his parents it is as if telling all gay people should just remain childless and die off without passing on gay genes. Many children ... (read in full...)
He's prepared to live off mommy's money -- Is this an irreconcilable difference?
Q. My boyfriend is a spoiled "mama's boy." He's 21 (as am I) and we have been together for four years. His mother is very wealthy, has fancy cars and 6 apartments and recently told him that he will inherit all of this. Since this discovery, my ...
A. 14 December 2013: His parents set an easy path for him to follow. The minimum thing he needs to do is learn how to manage the finances, how to deal with tenants, and the maintenance and upgrading of the buildings. At least an interest to do these things would be ... (read in full...)
I'm about to break up with my B/f and I feel nothing during sex..no physical or emotional connection. Does this mean that sex is all about how you feel for that person?
Q. Dear Aunts and Uncles. I am in the process of leaving a 3 year relationship,it been tough,and volitile,but I.m finding it a bit difficult to let go of the last bit. It.s literally on it.s last legs. My question is this. The last few times I had sex ...
A. 14 December 2013: If you had a 3 year relationship with any of those one night stands, it would die faster without the emotional connection to begin with. In a long term relationship, after the novelty wears off, you rely on your connection for love making. You don't ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend said he would feel uncomfortable around my gay friend!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 5 months now and I want him to meet my friends. He hasn't met them already yet as there hasn't been an opportunity for him to. So I asked him the other day if he would like to come and watch one of my friends ...
A. 13 December 2013: Gay guys are uncharted territory for him. Some straight guys have homophobic tendencies meaning they are afraid to be seen to have desires, or being desired by gay men. He is afraid that if his body responds to a gay guy flirting, then he would be ... (read in full...)
Is my case of retroactive jealousy completely irrational?
Q. Hello. Ok, here it goes, I'll try to short down everything. I have relatively enough relationship experience in my past. Never had such RJ, even if it was the girl I fell for, and even if there was larger number of partners. Now it will...
A. 10 December 2013: You are talking about one type of woman. She's more alpha than the average. She is daring and couldn't care less about what people think about her. There are many women who follow the rules and do the right thing. There are women who love too much ... (read in full...)
Is my case of retroactive jealousy completely irrational?
Q. Hello. Ok, here it goes, I'll try to short down everything. I have relatively enough relationship experience in my past. Never had such RJ, even if it was the girl I fell for, and even if there was larger number of partners. Now it will...
A. 10 December 2013: It could be hard for her to share her day without you analyzing her every move. I know you try your best not to sound controlling but she knows of your inquisitive nature. She knows that you are asking about her life to get some reassurance that ... (read in full...)
Is my case of retroactive jealousy completely irrational?
Q. Hello. Ok, here it goes, I'll try to short down everything. I have relatively enough relationship experience in my past. Never had such RJ, even if it was the girl I fell for, and even if there was larger number of partners. Now it will...
A. 10 December 2013: I look like a plain jane, an innocent small asian type and if it weren't for my son I would have taken more risks in life. You don't need to loud, rambunctions and dress like a slut to have a risk-taker personality.
I think the scary thing for you ... (read in full...)
Is my case of retroactive jealousy completely irrational?
Q. Hello. Ok, here it goes, I'll try to short down everything. I have relatively enough relationship experience in my past. Never had such RJ, even if it was the girl I fell for, and even if there was larger number of partners. Now it will...
A. 9 December 2013: If she has a higher libido than you, then you would worry if she's satisfied and if one man is enough for her. Love is insecurity. When you chain something down it becomes your possession. Love is inconsistency. When something is constant you take ... (read in full...)
Is my case of retroactive jealousy completely irrational?
Q. Hello. Ok, here it goes, I'll try to short down everything. I have relatively enough relationship experience in my past. Never had such RJ, even if it was the girl I fell for, and even if there was larger number of partners. Now it will...
A. 9 December 2013: Really, what she did in the party was nothing outrageous. I would say that her mind is clearer than yours. I didn't notice how much you wrote because you story is so interesting. Now I reread it it's kind of exhausting. Your mind is like a ... (read in full...)
Is my case of retroactive jealousy completely irrational?
Q. Hello. Ok, here it goes, I'll try to short down everything. I have relatively enough relationship experience in my past. Never had such RJ, even if it was the girl I fell for, and even if there was larger number of partners. Now it will...
A. 9 December 2013: I know what you mean. I don't think you are judgmental either. I too did something that's questionable and made my dad warn me not to become a prostitute and a drug user. I did neither. There were still things I didn't tell my parents about but I ... (read in full...)
Can we find a way to communicate our needs better or are we just too different from one another to make this work?
Q. I'm not sure if anyone can help me with this. But my relationship is going downhill, and we don't know if there is anything we can do, or if we should break up. Things have been rough for a while now. We have a great time together, we laugh, we have ...
A. 9 December 2013: Did you ask what he did then when he got home? I am guessing the rough patch is that one of you wants to marry and the other doesn't.
I see that he did not call once during the trip. Am I right? A simple, "I got to city X. Good night," or "I got ... (read in full...)
I know he's had bi experiences, so how do I talk him into a MMF?
Q. I'm a 43 year old female who had the great fortune of meeting the love of my life 2.5 years ago. We've both been around the block many times, and we're perfect for each other. Lots of sexual experience on both our parts. He's not very...how s...
A. 8 December 2013: I wonder where you found that girl to have MFF with. The way I would do it is to start with watching other people have sex. Later two couples having sex in the same room, then later you swap. Having a foursome then threesome is an easier transition. ... (read in full...)
Is my case of retroactive jealousy completely irrational?
Q. Hello. Ok, here it goes, I'll try to short down everything. I have relatively enough relationship experience in my past. Never had such RJ, even if it was the girl I fell for, and even if there was larger number of partners. Now it will...
A. 8 December 2013: 2) If you had known that her wild past started at age 14 you would probably reconsider dating her.
4) I am considered a loose woman. Slept with men early but I made sure my first was my boyfriend. Perhaps it's peer pressure that made her want to l... (read in full...)
Is my case of retroactive jealousy completely irrational?
Q. Hello. Ok, here it goes, I'll try to short down everything. I have relatively enough relationship experience in my past. Never had such RJ, even if it was the girl I fell for, and even if there was larger number of partners. Now it will...
A. 8 December 2013: What I believe is relationships last as long as you want them to last, as long as you feel your efforts are worth it and you can still be yourself comfortably without changing anything or forcing your beliefs out.
Orgies exist in human hist... (read in full...)
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