A
female
age
30-35,
*aybaybay_x
writes:I told this guy I was seeing that I'm fed up with what we have going . He can be quite rude and last night I said we cant be together nor can we be friends as he obviously can't hack it. Neither can I, the bitterness is real on his end yet he says he'd rather be friends than not have me in his life. But the bitterness is coming out and I can't deal with it. However as we spoke, I realised he kept saying things like "yeah we need space, we need to think about things" also disregarding what I'm saying and making his own sort of version of what I said.Now I miss him, I got very attached to him but I know he's no good for me. Therefore I kept saying you know I'm tired of all this. We can't be together. We just keep going round and round. But he wont drop this space thing, like he wants the hope of us reconciling. Almost convincing himself there's a chance and disregarding what I said. I gave up and was like I certainly do think need time away from you. And he was like I'll always be here, gimme a shout when you're ready....:sMy question really is am I now obligated to speak to him and tell him all over again that we aren't a good idea? Or can I just never talk to him again (which is what I want and thought I had made clear) Help? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (7 January 2014):
 Why would you be obligated ? Who is obliging you ? .. Not even manners : he told you : Ok , call me if you are ready,- therefore, if you won't ever be ready, you won't ever have to talk to him again. Case closed.
If you have made up your mind that you don't want to talk to him anymore- then just do not talk to him anymore. It's not mandatory to stay friends with exes.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (7 January 2014):
 Nope, you can drop him 100% if you want, but BE consistent or he will think that if you talk to him once you will do it again.
If you are done, then BE done. block and ignore.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (6 January 2014):
 I wonder why it's so hard to just say "no I won't be talking to you again. Have a nice life." When you say you need time away from him it implies you would get back to him in the future, like needing a vacation before going to work again. As women we are taught to be nice so even break ups sound like gentle let downs. You went from "can"t be together" and softened it to "need time away from you". So he knew that his persistence worked.
He heard what you said clearly but he's trying his best to sound like a second hand car salesman. To drop a deal you just stop picking up the phone. Just like how you do it when you decline a sale.
His ways to avoid having to live a celibate life all depends on women who are too nice to say no just for once and mean it.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (6 January 2014):
 Of course you're not obligated to have contact with him, you don't owe him anything. He doesn't actually want an explanation, he is just hoping for another chance to talk you into giving him another chance. You are doing the right thing.
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A
male
reader, M Proops +, writes (6 January 2014):
You know what he's like,you say he's rude and bitter .Why would you want to go back,he'll never change by the looks of it.You don't have to talk to him just walk away and be happy.
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