A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I met this guy that I'm developing a huge crush on. He is intelligent and mature and creative, and we have the same passion for performing music and we are going for the same careers. We talk for hours and he says he also has a crush on me, and he says he wants to take me out for dinner sometime.But the idea of being in a relationship again is scary to me. My last relationship was very emotionally draining and I ended up wasting my emotions and tears on someone who was never all that into me, and we were together for 1 year. I was almost always worried or stressed during our relationship, and I actually feel happier now that I'm single than I did when we were together. After our breakup I learned to be happy single and I have been truly, genuinely happy and I've become a much more confident, independent, and strong person. I feel like relationships will just bring stress, jealousy, and worrying that I just don't need, and I feel like they rarely ever last. I feel like my next boyfriend will end up falling out of love with me eventually anyway so why bother. I also enjoy my independence and I'm scared that being in a relationship will make me become emotionally reliant on someone again and that's scary to me. I'm very infatuated with the guy I met and he's more mature than my ex, and he's a couple years older than me while my ex was a couple years younger than me, if that makes any difference. but I feel very pessimistic about relationships. I feel like if me and this guy were to become a couple (and I get the feeling that he really wants that), I'll just be setting myself up for stress, jealousy, and hurt. What should I do? Should I tell him about my worries or just keep this to myself?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (25 January 2014):
 On the first date you should present your best self. Let no one tell you this is being fake. You form an impression on him and this is how he would see you in the years to come. The first few dates should be fun and relaxing. If you can't keep troubles to yourself then he would wonder about your ability to be happy. You have an offer to a date, and you like him. I would say be open to love, but be realistic that it lasts until you want it to last. I think the world would be a better place if we could let go of unrealistic expectations and just live one day at a time. Should it come to a time when the relationship serves no purpose, then people part ways amicably. The trick in a relationship is to be independent when you can't be around him but reliant and make him feel needed when he's there. When it comes to expressing your feelings, there is a time and place for that, but not right now. Don't talk about your ex too much because it would make him think that you are not over him. Just express your general fears and the mystery about relationships. The purpose is to bring you closer together so that you can understand each other better.
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