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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Just looking for a bit of advice please. It's it a relationship problem as such. I have been friends with a girl for about 6 years now. Quite close. About 2 years ago I distanced myself and didn't speak to her because she was messing about behind her then fiancés back and saying she was out with me, when I'd be sat at home and also because she's extremely selfish. It's all about her. So fast forward 6 months ago. I ran into her and it was great to catch up. She's since had a baby and married. We began socialising again and I looked after her little one now and again while her husband was away at work - he works abroad. Now I'm extremely annoyed. She has now sparked up a relationship with her ex. She keeps asking me to watch her kid to let her go and see this guy and no matter how much I've said no or told her I don't agree with this she still asks. I've told her I don't want involved. She has now asked me to use my car instead of hers to go and meet him. What part of no does she not get!? Not only that but every time we are out its all about her again. About the guys who keep staring at her - must not be looking at me eh lol heaven forbid!! Haha or how she looks great and won't do anything I suggest. I say let's go here.. no I don't like it. I'm becoming extremely frustrated and I have stopped socialising with her. But.. she still uses me as an excuse. What must her hubby and family think of me when she says she's been away with me when she hasn't? What do I do here? Cut her off completely? Tell her husband? She has removed me from her dad's Facebook so she can say she's been with me incase I post something to give the game away. She even went off on one when I said i don't agree with what u are doing and putting me in a position to have to lie and also lie to my own partner. Even he has asked what she's up to. I know how it feels to be cheated on and it isn't nice. I'm just fed up being used even when I've said no several times!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2014): I would tell her straight you are absolutely sick of her selfish, immature behaviour and that if she dares to use you as an excuse one more time you will make sure her husband and family know she was not with you. Let your partner know what's going on, as he might blurt it out one day and end this problem too but also you don't really want to keep being associated with someone who has zero morals.
She's not a friend she sounds like a complete user, and also a first class bitch for cheating on her husband - with whom she has a son. I would quite possibly tell him, but often people shoot the messenger but at least it would put an end to your "friendship" and she would stop using you to cover up her actions.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (10 September 2014):
 Yikes, cut her out. She isn't a friend she is a USER. She will USE you just like she uses EVERYONE else in her life.
Just tell her you can no longer be friends and then BLOCK HER on phone, social sites and e-mail.
Pretend she flew over the Bermuda Triangle and vanished!
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (10 September 2014):
 Your "friend" is a narcissist and it's time to end the friendship. If you don't feel able to stand up to her, just be passive and stop taking her calls/texts/emails. It is not your job to enable her self-serving behavior!
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (10 September 2014):
 You have to stop tryig to maintain her as an old friend orwhatever you think sh is. It is obvious that you are no friend of hers. There are some relatonships in life that are just plain toxic and this sounds lke one of them. Not only do you need to put distance between the two of you but you need to somehow let it be known in no uncertain terms that it's over with the baby siting. If something terrible happened while you we watchin the baby. you think she'd be understandig? Nope, she'd throw you under the bus. she souds like an "it's-all- about-me" person and you are being used as a tool. You Must end this madness or you will regret it. Do not worry abot her feelings etc. Just pull the plug!Good Luck
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (10 September 2014):
 This isn't a friend. This is someone pretending to be a friend so she can use you. It would be best to end the friendship. Cut all contact, don't accept her phone calls. You have already told her repeatedly your feelings so there is no reason to tell her again. Cut her out of your life completely. Its sad when friendships end but sometimes it happens. This isn't the type of person you need in your life.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (10 September 2014):
 She sounds very narcissist and has a way of making others listen to her. She uses people as pawns. Yes you should cut her off completely. Her family and friends know of her ways all too well and you don't have to care about their reactions any more. If you can stay firm and not reply to her then she would get it and find another target, a "user" friendly one.
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