A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone, I need your advice. Im 20, my boyfriend is 22.We are in a relationship for a year now. My boyfriend is the first guy I slept with and I love him more than anyone on this world. The thing is, his sexual drive is waaaay bigger than mine. To explain myself, I'm not asexual but I am just not into intercourse that much. Maybe it's because of the pain issue we had trouble at the beggining of our sex life (he is very tall, Im not, so you can imagine) so sometimes it still gets painful but also because I dont feel ready every time and by ready I mean Im not fresh-showered, waxed etc. These are like stupid reasons but they are the cause I end up rejecting sex eventough Im horny and everything. My bf have patience but not on high level, he gets angry and confronts me with conclusion that he feels unwanted and ashamed because I rarly say yes.Have you ever been in situation like this? How to solve this?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2014): Try freshening up and waxing? If you dont feel attractive yourself you won't be in the mood.
Also try lube if it's sore for certain reasons, and ask to be more in control at your own speed and how deep etc.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (12 September 2014):
 Have you seen an OB/GYN ?... I don't think it's normal feeling pain during intercourse still one year from defloration. Particurarly if you say you are " horny and all " ( so, also aroused and lubricated , I suppose ).
I am saying this because I am sure, positive that his height can't have anything to do with your physical discomfort( I barely reach 5'3 and always had sex only with tall / very tall men- the height difference does not cause any pain at all ).
Either he is too rough, too vigorous at times ( which is easily remediable , just tell him to go easier / slower ),- or you might have some undetected abrasion / inflammation / irritation etc.that makes intercourse painful. Don't worry, it does not have to be anything major- but those are delicate parts, even something very minor can act up and cause pain. So a check up of the plumbing can't hurt.
If you sort of expect / fear you could feel pain, it's not surprising that you are seldom in the mood and "cover up " your fear with other psychological blocks .
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A
female
reader, bellax  +, writes (12 September 2014):
 best i can tell you is that tell him what he likes and what certain things he enjoy maybe that will help ease the pain but if hes being too rough well then you should explain it hurts can you wait like have patients there are
other ways on how to have sex without any pain you can always use different things that way its fun for both of you without any problems (:
ps changing the course of sex intiment can also help.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (12 September 2014):
 If he doesn't mind you smelling sweaty or your hairy legs then try to have sex with him. Tell him you open up more if he gives you cunnilingus. Initiate more so that way he doesn't get rejected that often. You will feel more in control when you decide and you should get on top of him too.
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