A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Should we know our partner's past relationships? Lately I found a really old archived blog post from his blog talking about a girl he used to date 2 years back. (How much he likes her and how happy she makes him). I asked if he dated anyone during that period and he said no. He even got defensive and said if I trust him I shouldn't be asking him such questions not sure why but I felt quite hurt that he intentionally kept it from me. True, that relationship was 2 years ago and we have been tgt since 2013. But I am so confused as to why he wants to hide that relationship from me.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, psychologist to her friends +, writes (6 September 2014):
It's normal for you to feel worried because it's an old relationship, so it shouldn't be making him defensive. But there are many reasons why he could be locking away the past from your eyes: perhaps she really hurt him or he did something in the relationship he's not proud of, or whatever. Seriously, it could be anything. I wouldn't worry because it's in his past. If it was a girl that he was speaking to now, then it would be a different story. I wouldn't make an issue over something that's old news.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (5 September 2014):
 Not everyone likes to share old stories with current partners. If he said no I would have left it at that. Even if you told him you found his blog post he still has the right to keep that to himself. If you want to know why people don't want to talk about pasts, it's because some people make assumptions and conclusions based on what they did, and who they dated. He would rather let you see the present him on a clean slate. For me personally I prefer a boyfriend who never talks about exes over one who still refers to them on a constant basis.
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