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... Send *rank B Kermit a private message | | | *rank B Kermit's profile:Frank Kermit, MA is an Expert Relationship and Dating Coach. He is a Best Selling Author, educator, and regular media correspondent.
He teaches men and women about their emotional needs, how to address each others emotional needs, to be applied to ongoing loving relationships. In 2011, Frank completed an Advanced Certificate in Trauma Counseling and in 2014 completed a certificate in Hypnotherapy.
Frank Kermit has a newsletters that the public can sign up for:
http://www.franktalks.com/newsletter/ (upcoming media spots)
and when you sign up, you get a 400+ page ebook for free (a collection of 100 of Frank's best articles)
Frank answers public questions on dearcupid.org when and IF he has the time. Please understand that Frank makes a professional living through his Date Coaching, and therefore his private paying clients must come first. Frank does not answer private questions received on dearcupid.org unless you want to hire him for some private one on one coaching via skype or over the phone. You can learn more about Frank's Coaching services at www.franktalks.com/
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| Latest articles: Off Limits Dating
No replies yet... 18 September 2013: Is Someone Off Limits for Dating? By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Mastering the art of dating requires a number of skills such as being socially calibrated, effective communication and knowing what you want. One of the areas that comes up for ...
How to Deal with a Toxic Person
No replies yet... 18 September 2013: The Best Way To Deal With Toxic People By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Toxic people are defined in this article as people who lack the capacity to reason, or people have the capacity to reason but just do not want to reason with you. In t...
A Broken Engagement is Better Than A Happy Divorce
No replies yet... 31 August 2013: A Broken Engagement is Better Than A Happy Divorce By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships One of the ironies of couples counseling that I often find myself doing is taking the couple through the pre-marital coaching process when they may already be...
A Frank Comment on Miley Cyrus
This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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31 August 2013: A Frank Comment On Miley Cyrus By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships I do not normally comment on the antics of popular culture, as so much of what we see of movies and TV are fiction based romances and relationships. I tried my best to stay fo...
The Wedding Speech
No replies yet... 26 July 2013: The Wedding Speech Remember this day, your wedding day. Not for the dresses and suits, not for the extravagance, nor the dinner and dancing, but remember your wedding day because of the reasons you chose to marry your spouse. Remember who is it that...
Sexually Incompatible Couples
No replies yet... 19 July 2013: Sexually Incompatible Couples Sex is not the most important thing in a relationship. However, couples who love each other dearly and connect on so many levels, but whom are sexually incompatible tend to find that sex can be at the core of a numb...
Separation and Dating, Part 2 of 2
No replies yet... 28 June 2013: Separation and Dating, Part 2 of 2 Separation does not automatically lead to divorce unless you let it. It is up to you and your partner to put in the work so that it does not happen. In the event you are the only one trying to work on yourself and ...
Separation and Dating Part 1 of 2
No replies yet... 22 June 2013: Separation and Dating Part 1 of 2 One of the most damaging actions an individual can take is to start dating someone new when going through a separation with their serious long term partner (spouse, common-law partner or a defacto-union). When I use ...
The Frank Break Up Formula
No replies yet... 14 June 2013: The Frank Break Up Formula By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Breaking up with someone is rarely an enjoyable or pleasant experience. In fact, there are those individuals who stay in less than satisfying relationships, and even can go all the ...
The Frank Romance Formula part 3 of 3
No replies yet... 8 June 2013: The Frank Romance Formula Part 3 By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Continued from last article: The Frank Romance Formula is: A. (Stimulation of the 5 senses) + B. (Addressing the emotional needs of that person) + C. (Sensual/Sexual Contex...
The Frank Romance Formula Part 2 of 3
No replies yet... 3 June 2013: The Frank Romance Formula Part 2 By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Continued from last article: The Frank Romance Formula is: A. (Stimulation of the 5 senses) + B. (Addressing the emotional needs of that person) + C. (Sensual/Sexual Contex...
The Secret Of Seduction is that it Happens in the Future
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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3 May 2013: The Secret Of Seduction is that it Happens in the Future By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships The future is where actual seduction takes place. That is the key to seduction. It has very little to do with turning someone on when you see them. I...
The S.L.A.P. Theory Of Life Lessons
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
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27 April 2013: The S.L.A.P. Theory Of Life Lessons By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Sometimes life will slap you down when it has a lesson to teach you. For some people, the slap may be a light swat, and for others the slap has to be a severe smack down. ...
Dating With Disabilities
No replies yet... 5 April 2013: Dating With Disabilities by Frank Kermit ND, Relationships I once went on a date with a woman that had severe food allergies. We went out to a movie and I wished she had told me ahead of time. Although she mentioned that she was deathly all...
Rejection: The Worst Best Thing That Can Ever Happen
No replies yet... 21 March 2013: Rejection: The Worst Best Thing That Can Ever Happen By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Rejection is the worst best thing that can ever happen to you. Managing rejection is a necessary part in managing your love life. Over the course of your ...
Things they do not tell you about having kids
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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15 March 2013: Things They Do Not Tell You About Having Kids By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships I always try to be very practical and realistic in my articles. This can come across very negative, given that my topic is Relationships (and all things relative...
When Friendship Is Meaningless
No replies yet... 8 March 2013: Friendship Is Meaningless Stop Hanging Out With Friends Who Sexually Reject You By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Friendship is meaningless. There I said it. Now before you shoot one of your nasty emails to the editor, actually read this colum...
Who Cares What People Think? Depends...
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
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1 March 2013: How Much Should You Care About What Other People Think? By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships T here will be times when we want to do something in our lives that is meaningful to us. It could be a decision related to abandoning education, wh...
Learn How to Choose the Right Fights!
No replies yet... 21 February 2013: Pick And Choose Your Fights By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Fighting in relationships is normal. The issue is not whether you fight. The issue is HOW a couple fights. Do they talk out their disagreements? Do they wait until they are alon...
Starting Over After V-day?
No replies yet... 14 February 2013: Starting Over? By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Valentine’s day can be a day of reckoning for some people. Meaning, the events leading up to, on the day of, and afterwards can really wreck your life. This is one of the reasons I often refer to...
A Relationship is: Acceptance at the Worst, Loving at the Best
No replies yet... 6 February 2013: A Relationship is: Acceptance at the Worst, Loving at the Best By Frank Kermit, Relationships At my weekly relationship workshop last Saturday I issued one of my famous “Frankisms” that seemed to really resonate with the attendees. I was trying...
Asking Hard Questions
No replies yet... 1 February 2013: Asking Hard Questions By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships When trying to decide if you should be committed to someone, moving in with someone, getting engaged, and getting married, each new transition brings about the unpleasant task of askin...
Ex Lovers and Weddings Do Not Mix
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24 January 2013: Ex Lovers and Weddings Do Not Mix By Frank Kermit, Relationships If you ever had sex with someone that is about to get married, and have been invited to the wedding, do not go. This is especially true if the spouse-to-be feels uncomfortable havi...
Couples in Transition: Monogamy and Non-monogamy
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16 January 2013: Couples in Transition: Monogamy and Non-monogamy By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Couples who are experiencing a transition in the status of their relationship may sometimes look to explore new ways of redefining their sex lives b...
Common Sense For Common Scents By Frank Kermit, Relationships
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
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13 December 2012: Common Sense For Common Scents By Frank Kermit, Relationships As the holiday season approaches, invitations begin to swarm in for get-togethers from family, friends and even office parties. It is a time of people coming together, and in some ca...
Couples in Transition
No replies yet... 29 November 2012: Couples in Transition By Frank Kermit, Relationships When a couple is going through a change in the status of their relationship they are a couple in transition. This includes couples that are transitioning from monogamy to non-monogamy, from no...
Your Home Is Your Seduction
No replies yet... 15 November 2012: Your Home Is Your Seduction By Frank Kermit, Relationships Your date is coming over to your place! You have seen each other a couple of times already, but this is different. This is YOUR PLACE, not some coffee shop or movie theatre or restaur...
The Movie Of Your Life’s Journey
No replies yet... 6 November 2012: The Movie Of Your Life’s Journey By Frank Kermit, Relationships The movie of your life is how we each envision our lives unfolding throughout our life span. This concept goes beyond simple fantasizing of what your life would be like. Writing ...
What Love Masks by Frank Kermit
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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2 November 2012: What Love Masks By Frank Kermit, Relationships A mentor of mine taught me that love is not blind; it is just that categories are rigid. When you meet someone, you put that person in a category (lover, friend, temptation, fling, does-no...
The Chocolate Made It Too Much Work: An Article About EFT and Weight Loss
No replies yet... 2 November 2012: The Chocolate Made It Too Much Work An Article About EFT and Weight Loss I have a confession. I used to daydream about food. You know that point in the day when someone catches you; your head in your hands, that dreamy look on your face? If so...
Have You Tried NOT Dating Your Type?
No replies yet... 1 November 2012: Have You Tried NOT Dating Your Type? By Frank Kermit, Relationships We all have our “type”. By “type” I am referring to that type of person each of us is madly attracted too. Each of us has our preference of what we like, what turns us on, ...
Is there such a thing as Happily Single?
No replies yet... 19 October 2012: Is there such a thing as Happily Single? By Frank Kermit, Relationships Is being single really that bad? After all, when a person considers the amount of pain that a relationship or casual dating can cause, it may seem that just skipping the w...
Be Thankful For a Broken Heart
No replies yet... 11 October 2012: Be Thankful For A Broken Heart By Frank Kermit, Relationships Ok, I hate this. I really hate this part of the process. However, it is a necessary part of the process, and if I am expected to help encourage others to do it, first I have to demo...
Stop Talking About Your Ex On Dates!
No replies yet... 5 October 2012: Stop Talking So Much About Your Ex By Frank Kermit, Relationships So you are on a date with someone new. You are excited. You are nervous. You hope that this is finally going to be the one. You meet. So far, you both like what you see. This...
Dating in Social Circles
No replies yet... 29 September 2012: Dating In Social Circles By Frank Kermit, Relationships Dating can be tricky. Does the other person like you the way you think he or she might? Do you really like that person enough to get more serious, or do you want to keep it more casual a...
Frank Guide to Speed Dating
No replies yet... 21 September 2012: Frank Guide To Speed Dating By Frank Kermit, Relationships Every way to meet someone new is a good way. Though friends, through the Internet, blind dates, approaching someone you want to meet, at a workshop, matchmaking companies, business conv...
Relationship Goal Setting
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
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15 September 2012: Relationship Goal Setting By Frank Kermit, Relationships Setting goals in most areas of your life can be challenging. When it comes to relationships, there are even more challenges. Whereas in other areas of your life such as education, emplo...
Battling The Savior Complex in Relationships
No replies yet... 6 September 2012: Battling The Savior Complex By Frank Kermit, Relationships As children, many of us grew up on stories about the hero that saves a person, and in the process, earned the undying love and loyalty of the person saved so that the hero and that saved ...
Get Out Of Your Own Way!
No replies yet... 30 August 2012: Get Out Of Your Own Way By Frank Kermit, Relationships One of the biggest obstacles that a person can have as an obstruction on their path of finding happiness, peace and healing for their love life, is themselves. Although most people wou...
Your Choices Today Become The Past You Have To Share Tomorrow
No replies yet... 26 August 2012: Your Choices Today Become The Past You Have To Share Tomorrow By Frank Kermit, Relationships Young adults tend to discount how the choices they make today will impact their futures tomorrow. At least, when it comes to relationships. The bes...
Are You A Partner Or A Liability?
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
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17 August 2012: Are You A Partner Or A Liability? When it really is you and not them By Frank Kermit, Relationships “It’s not you, it’s me.” Have you ever heard that said to you when someone broke up with you? Have you ever been the one to use it when dump...
The 7 Weird Words That Help Define Relationships
No replies yet... 9 August 2012: The 7 Weird Words That Help Define Relationships By Frank Kermit, Relationships There are 7 certain words that catch many people off guard when it comes to relationships. They are: Lust, Love, Sex, Dating, Commitment, Marriage, and Monogamy. ...
Fear of Conflict Is Rooted in The Fear Of Loss.
No replies yet... 20 July 2012: Fear of Conflict Is Rooted in The Fear Of Loss By Frank Kermit, Relationships Are you too nice when it comes to relationships? Do you walk on eggshells because you do not want to upset your partner? Are you reluctant to enforce your bounda...
Re-Establishing Trust in a Relationship Article
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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12 July 2012: Broken Trust Takes More Than Time To Re-Establish By Frank Kermit, Relationships Trust is one of the most important components of a relationship. Love is a great start, but it takes more than loving someone, or being loved by someone, to make ...
Understanding Emotional Needs
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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4 July 2012: Understanding Emotional Needs: What We Respond To Versus What We Should Like By Frank Kermit, Relationships Emotional needs are about what a person responds to. It has nothing to do with what a person should like. We all should be attracte...
Red Flags: What To Watch Out For On A Date
No replies yet... 29 June 2012: Red Flags: What To Watch Out For On A Date By Frank Kermit, Relationships When you are on a date, and the person you are getting to know says or does something that triggers a well-honed instinct that you need to stop dating that person, you hav...
The Art of Storytelling on a Date
No replies yet... 25 June 2012: Art of Storytelling: Make or Break A Relationship Happy Ending By Frank Kermit, Relationships One of the challenges that people face when they go on dates is that they may not factor in that others will not understand what they are trying ...
Swinger Beginner Advice
No replies yet... 25 June 2012: Swinger Beginners: Keep it Out of the Work Place By Frank Kermit, Relationships Dear Frank, My husband and I recently returned from a business trip/vacation where a few of my husband's co-workers also brought their wives. We really hit it o...
When your Ex becomes a symbol and you can't get over it
No replies yet... 13 June 2012: When Your Ex Becomes A Symbol Relationship Symbolism of Why You Are Still Hooked By Frank Kermit, Relationships We are surrounded by the power of symbols. A symbol is more than just a design we recognize; symbols are a means of making meaning. ...
Ally Vs Enemy: Understanding The Emotional Needs of Men
No replies yet... 9 June 2012: Is She His Ally or His Enemy? Understanding The Emotional Needs of Men By Frank Kermit, Relationships The best way I know how to teach people about the emotional needs of men is to break it down to absolute fundamentals. If people can und...
Dating After A Break Up - Just How Long Should You Wait?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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1 June 2012: Dating After Breaking Up? The Sooner The Better By Frank Kermit, Relationships “How much time should I wait before I start dating again?” is a common question that I get asked from someone that has just recently gotten dumped, and still sufferi...
Relationship Redemption: How To Forgive Yourself and Get Closure
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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23 May 2012: Relationship Redemption How To Forgive Yourself and Get Closure By Frank Kermit, Relationships We all make mistakes in life. If you have ever tried to get into a relationship, are in a relationship, or are recovering from a relationship, ...
Finding The Meaning Of Your Life And Relationships
No replies yet... 15 May 2012: The Meaning of your Relationships Starts With The Meaning Of Your Life By Frank Kermit, Relationships Contemplate your death. No seriously. In order to make meanings of your relationships past, present and those you will have in the futur...
The Mother-Lover Theory Understanding The Emotional Needs of Women
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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10 May 2012: The Mother-Lover Theory Understanding The Emotional Needs of Women By Frank Kermit, Relationships A woman can only play one of two roles in a man’s life. She is either his mother or his lover. She cannot be both. When a man addresses a wom...
Moving To The Next Level: Understanding The Hierarchy of Relationships
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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1 May 2012: Moving To The Next Level Understanding The Hierarchy of Relationships By Frank Kermit, Relationships One of the biggest mistakes people make in relationships is to promote someone up the hierarchy of commitment that has not really earned it. I...
Beware Your Friends when it comes to love
No replies yet... 15 April 2012: Beware Your Friends They May Not Want You To Be Loved By Frank Kermit, Relationships Mistakes Singles Make # 6… Seeking the approval of friends that influences your love life choices. Love may come and go, but a friendship can last a lifetim...
Are Relationships Worth The Risk?
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8 April 2012: Relationships = Risk But is it really worth it? By Frank Kermit, Relationships Given that there is so much risk in getting involved in relationships, or having sex for that matter, is it at all worth it to even bother? After all, a broken hear...
Tattoos and Relationships
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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24 March 2012: Beware The L-I-N-K Of (L)ove and (INK) By Frank Kermit, Relationships While at a coffee shop a few weeks ago, I met a tattoo artist. He had his son’s name tattooed on his hand, and being the ever-inquisitive one, I asked him about his profession...
Open Relationships and Infidelity
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17 March 2012: Open Relationships Do Not Always Stave Off Infidelity By Frank Kermit, Relationships Some people believe that one of the surest ways to guarantee fidelity is to only do open relationships. The premise is that people only cheat in monogamous ...
What is a Relationship?
No replies yet... 10 March 2012: What is a Relationship? Is best defined by what it’s NOT By Frank Kermit, Relationships Over the years, I have been asked a number of times “What is a Relationship?” This is a harder question to answer than most people think. In my experience,...
Engaged! Now what?
No replies yet... 19 February 2012: Pre Marital Disclosure What you don’t know, you must know By Frank Kermit, Relationships Valentines day has come and gone. Some relationships have started. Some relationships have ended, and some relationships have proceeded to the next le...
Making Monogamy Work
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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5 February 2012: Making Monogamy Work By Frank Kermit, Relationships Monogamy is easier than open relationships, because the rules are simpler...but the application of the rules of monogamy is not as easy. Monogamy works for monogamous people...however...
Single Parent Dating, Not Just a Single Issue
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3 February 2012: Single Parent Dating – More Than Just A Single Issue By Frank Kermit At least 40% of marriages end in divorce. Depending on the study you read, the percentage can be higher. Even though the break down of families continues, the drive that ma...
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I want to ask my good friend to the movies, just as friends, but I think she's worried people will see us together!
Q. i have a good female friend. i often tell her about my problems etc. she thinks i fancy another girl. and i know for a fact she doesn't fancy me. i want to go with her to cinema just as mates nothin else. how can i ask her without her makin excu...
A. 22 May 2007: Dude, it is RARE that friends turn into lovers. Your best bet is to meet NEW girls, and turn them into your girlfriends. The only time Friends can turn into lovers is when there is ALREADY some attraction from her to you...again, hard to do when ... (read in full...)
How do I ask my wife for anal sex?
Q. How do I ask my wife for anal sex? We used to do it. I'd always wait for her to ask. No pressure! But now it's been about 4 years it doesn't happen. I miss it a lot....
A. 22 May 2007: You do it directly, honestly and in private so that her repuation is protected at all times. Take her out for a night on the town, and when sex happens, put your attentions on her, and after sex, when she is feeling good bring it up, as something ... (read in full...)
How can I feel happy with my life even though my parents see me as unsuccessful?
Q. my father doesn't accept me as a grown up person who is able to make money by doing a job and working hard. He would accept me only if i was a businessmen. Because of this i kind of hate myself for being just an average worker who slogs out to earn ...
A. 22 May 2007: Dude, please take care of yourself. You have been emotional beaten up. Firstly move as far away from them as possible. Limit contact with them, and find your own sense of happiness. Really. It is not until you pull yourself out of that ... (read in full...)
He says he will leave his wife for me, but I know it's not true, what can I do?
Q. Hi my names bebe and Im involved with a married man.He is my next door neighbour and Im very good friends with his wife.At first its was just a bit of fun but now we've fallen in love with each other.He keeps saying that hes going to leave his wife ...
A. 22 May 2007: Since you know it is not true, then what to do is obvious.
Stop seeing him, and find someone that you can have a real relationship with. He is the adult in this, you are still a minor, and what you too are doing could be illegal in your area. Stop... (read in full...)
Should I tell my friend I suspect his gf got "accidentally pregnant" on purpose?
Q. so how do i help my best friend. he is 21 (just) and has been going out with a girl (now 27) for 10 months. though he now stays at her house every night (for last 4 months). 3 months ago he told me she does not like me as we have always been close ...
A. 22 May 2007: If he asks you directly, tell him what you think. If he does not ask directly, keep your opinion to yourself. Stay out of the situation as much as possible. It is not your problem to deal with. Just make sure you do not get suckered in like he ... (read in full...)
I've been together with him for 10 years but he still won't marry me. Why has he suddenly started sleeping in another room?
Q. after ten year with my children father and owning our home still I feel he is cheating because he sill won't marry me. He says its not me because I am a good person, what should I do. He has since recently started sleeping in another room what is ...
A. 22 May 2007: Well, either he has some problem (impotence) or something of that nature (or past sexual abuse that he never told you about), or maybe he recently found out he is gay. Either way something is going on.
The fact he will not marry you after al... (read in full...)
We occassionally have unprotected sex. Is counting days safe?
Q. my boyfriend and I tend to have unprotected sex... ehm, last month we did, he didnt come, we stilled vowed not to do it again. but over the weekend we got carried away and the same thing happend... again he didnt come but ive been following the ...
A. 22 May 2007: There is a word for people that use the rythm system (counting days). The word is "parents".
-FBK... (read in full...)
Should I tell my girlfriend that our mutual friend doesn't like her?
Q. A mutual friend of my girlfriend and I recently told me that she doesn't like my girlfriend at all. My girlfriend always talks about how much she likes this friend and invites her out all the time. Should I tell my girlfriend? I feel like I'm lying ...
A. 22 May 2007: If it was me, I would want to know, as I would feel like a fool speaking well of someone that trashed me.
Also, my guess is that this female friend might have the hots for YOU, and sees your girlfriend as Competition for your attentio... (read in full...)
How do I tell my family that I want to spend the rest of my life with my girlfriend? She is a bit older and I'm afraid they might not approve?
Q. Hey everyone! Iam a 21 male and my GF is 24! We are already talking about spending the rest of our lives together. Her family knows about me but my parents do not know about her. Only my sister does. I want to tell my parents about her but I dont ...
A. 22 May 2007: Part of being a man is to take a stand for things you beleive in even if those things are not popular with others close to you. You are 21, now legally an adult. Start acting like one, and you will be respected like one. Do your parents honestly ... (read in full...)
Is it too much to expect him to be a dad every now and then, and perhaps a husband occasionally?
Q. I have been with my husband for 12 years and we have 3 kids. He has his own business and it has always taken up a lot of his time, though in the early days there was less pressure and he used to take a day off each week and we used to have a holiday ...
A. 22 May 2007: He works that much? My question is what kind of lifestyle is going on that he must work so much? Are the expensives so massive that he can not get away? Is he jsut a control freak that can not delegate some of the work?
Anybody that works th... (read in full...)
She breaks a lot of dates without apologizing. How can I tell if she's playing games with me?
Q. Before i even ask these ?'s I feel like I know the answers, but sometimes my own insecurities and self destructive behavior cloud my thinking and I just want some non-attached opinions and thoughts. I'll make it as short as possible. We live about ...
A. 22 May 2007: How do you know she is playing game with you?
If she calls you last minute to cancel plans without apologising that is a good sign.
Sounds to me you are the back up guy, and as soon as something more interesting comes up, you are out.
She ... (read in full...)
I have been denied promotion 3 times for without anybody explaining why. Should I talk to the chairman?
Q. i am a civil servent. have been in service for 14 years. i ve put up my promotion for 3 times, all 3 times was not approve. again i am putting up my promotion after 7 years gap, i am afraid if i will get this time. actually, in rules we are ...
A. 22 May 2007: Yes, you should talk to the chairman, but make sure you have another job lined up first. These conversations could turn into a further reason not to promote you, or worse, fire you, depending how much of a control freak your boss is. If you have ... (read in full...)
I go off her and then onto her again... is this normal or is it just me?!
Q. Is it normal to go off your girlfriend for a few days then like them again? I seem to do this a lot but im not sure its my girlfriend it may be general stress/tiredness?...
A. 22 May 2007: Is it normal...yes. Is it healthy...NO. What is addicitive is the DRAMA of it all. It makes for an intensifying relationship and sex, but long term it will cause incredible emotional damage to you, and alter your behaviors, such that if you ever ... (read in full...)
Why does he treat me badly and provoke me to dump him?
Q. My ex-boyfriend told me to bear with him if he freaked out in our relationship because he has never been treated well by a girl (his ex-fiancee went abroad with another man who it then turns out she was sleeping with whilst she was with my ex), so ...
A. 22 May 2007: My guess is that he wants you to break up with him, becuase he does not have the guts to do it himself. This way, he gets to blame you for his drama. Either way, he sounds like damaged goods, at least emotionally. He is making you pay for the ... (read in full...)
Lately my equipment doesn't perform as it should. Can someone tell me what is happening?
Q. This is quite tough for me to come out and admit this, but here goes: I have been together with my soon to be wife for over 3 years(we are engaged for about 8 months now). We have been living together for the entirety of our engagement, as I...
A. 22 May 2007: Sometimes, what happens to monogamous couples is that your bodies stop producing certain hormones to attract each other becuase you are around each other so much, that your bodies get the signals of "already had sex there, and already impregnanted ... (read in full...)
We've been married 19 years but my wife goes to clubs to meet single men!
Q. My wife and I have been married for about 19 years. She's 39 and I'm 44. For the past 6 months she's been hanging out with her recently divorced cousin (female - 44) and they have been going to nightclubs for the past 6 months about 2-3 times/we...
A. 22 May 2007: I am proud to be writing to you. You're willingness to read up, and take on the challenge of change work is admirable. Good for you. I support you 100%.
-FBK... (read in full...)
Why would he even ask if I want a threesome with two of his friends?
Q. Why would someone I am dating come up with a wierd question like do I want to have a threesome with two of his freinds not even him included and says If I do he can hook me up? Is he testing meor letting me know he really doesn't care for me?...
A. 22 May 2007: My guess is that he is testing you to see if you would be up for such a thing..maybe he wants the threesome with you, but instead of asking outright, he comes up with this senario. Another possibility is that some guys get turned on by the thought ... (read in full...)
Am I considered a slut if I gave one guy a blow-job and kissed another who has a girlfriend, both in the same week?
Q. I am so confused!! In the last week i gave a guy a blow job and made out with another guy who has a girlfriend! I dont really try these things but i like both of these guys and they came on to me. Would i be considered a slut?...
A. 18 May 2007: Some might consider you a slut.
Some might consider you sexually liberated.
Some might consider you just making excuses.
Some might consider you the "other" woman.
Only you can decide what you are going to think of yourself.
You can on... (read in full...)
I want to ask my good friend to the movies, just as friends, but I think she's worried people will see us together!
Q. i have a good female friend. i often tell her about my problems etc. she thinks i fancy another girl. and i know for a fact she doesn't fancy me. i want to go with her to cinema just as mates nothin else. how can i ask her without her makin excu...
A. 18 May 2007: I think you do not have a real friendship with her if you can to work so hard to ask her to hang out. Maybe it is not what everyone else thinks that is bugging her. Maybe she thinks that you like her.
What I can not understand is why you woul... (read in full...)
Married 7 years, 1 child but someone else has captured my heart - do I stay for our child?
Q. For the ladies..... You are married for 6 or 7 years. You have one child, 9 years old, which is adopted. Your husband is a good man. Your marriage is best described as living with a roomate or friend because of the lack of intimacy. You meet som...
A. 18 May 2007: The time you put into building the new relationship should be put to fixing your marriage. Did the vows: for better or worse mean anything to you? All relationships have ups and downs...you can not run because of a bad spell. Even if you went with ... (read in full...)
My 22 year old BF cheated on me with his 41 year old neighbour with 5 kids and got her pregnant! Should I stay with him?
Q. Dear Cupid, i was with my boyfriend for 5 months. I'm 21 and he is 22. He cheated on me with my neighbour she is 41 with 5 kids. I dumped him on st. patricks day because he was spending too much time in my neighbours house. I was heart broken to ...
A. 18 May 2007: Leave it in the past. He got someone else pregnant and abandoned you once already. How much more of a wake up call do you need?
-FBK... (read in full...)
How do i become friends with a guy without giving him the impression that I want a relationship?
Q. Hi, this may well be a silly question but i thought id ask just in case you had any good advise. Well I'm a single 19 yr old female and i don't have any real guy friends which bugs me because i love guys company. I've been told that I'm quite ...
A. 18 May 2007: You can not have it both ways. If you act flirtatious, you have to expect that guys are going to take it as a sign you want more. If you really want to make him understand that you only want to be friends, treat him as a friend, stop flirting with ... (read in full...)
His mom wants us to break up, what do we do?
Q. hi i know people say i shouldnt be having sex at this age or thinking about it but we all do. My bf and i have already talked about sex, that we are both not ready and both feel comfortable in the relationship we are in. But his mum wont beli...
A. 18 May 2007: I think you should listen to your mom. She knows you better than you know yourself...and at your age, your boyfriend should not be telling you what to tell, or not tell your mom.
-FBK... (read in full...)
I got drunk and said something nasty to my bf. I've apologized many times, but he is so stubborn. Should I just move on?
Q. I got drunk the other night and apparently said some things to my boyfriend (I don't remember) and feel terrible. After three days, he still would not return my phone calls. He finally broke up with me, stating "no one talks to me that way". I ...
A. 18 May 2007: You have done everything you can do with regards to him. I do not think he is being stubborn, and that kind of talk makes me think you have not accepted responsiblity for your actions. If you really want to do something more, I think you need to ... (read in full...)
He's picking on me all the time. And he threatens to make my daughter's life miserable if I don't get out of the house.
Q. tonight my partner gets back from his work trip. we aren't getting on and he keeps asking me to go away for the weekend - so he doesn't have to pay to stay in a hotel which is what he has done the past 2 weekends running, as he doesn't want to ...
A. 18 May 2007: He THREATENED your daughter as a tactic to control you.
How much more of sign do you need before you drop the loser once and for all?
Does he need to beat you,or beat and rape and kill your daughter next before you WAKE UP?
What would you ... (read in full...)
Did my girlfriend do something with her ex? She had a bruise on her inner thigh.
Q. my girlfriend went to her ex-boyfriends the other night to get some of her things. she said she would be home later and didn't come back till morning. the next morning her and i were getting intimate and i noticed a golfball size bruise on her inner ...
A. 18 May 2007: Uh, dude..she was gone all night at her ex-boyfriend house when she was SUPPOSE to come back, but didn't...and she didn't even call? Did she even try to explain the bruise?
Yes, I think she did something but Denial is a great thing.
And yes... (read in full...)
She slept with someone else just to get back at me. Am I correct to have doubts about getting back together with her?
Q. My girlfriend and I broke up (mutually agreed upon) for irreconcilable differences. No cheating on either part. However, after I moved out (having lived together for two and a half years), I tried to get through the split-up as best I could, after ...
A. 18 May 2007: Firstly you did not cheat, you were not together at the time.
Secondly, you are afraid to be honest with her. You can not build a relationship on that.
Third, she is a revenge perona. You "drove" her to do it? Oh please. More like she wanted ... (read in full...)
Dating 4 months and she ignores me to talk to another guy, online! What should I do?
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been together almost 4 months now. But lately shes been talking to this guy online. And its been non stop. She hardly talks to me anymore. She said to one of her friends about how she was thinking about going on a break ...
A. 18 May 2007: She has already broken it off with you, but just doesn't have the guts to do it in person.
Do the only thing you can do...start seeing other people.
At best you will find someone better (should be easy). At worst it will make her jealous, and... (read in full...)
He only went and dated the random girl that contacted him on Valentines when we broke up! Were giving it another go, but should I dump him ?
Q. My previous boyfriend and I, both 22 and never married, had been dating for almost 2 years. During out realtionship, I took him to a hockey game on Valentines Day, and he got a call from a random girl. I asked him who it was, and he said it was a ...
A. 18 May 2007: Do you really think its ok for someone to lie just because they don't like the reaction they get?
No, not at all. It is STILL wrong to lie.
Some people though get lied to ALL THE TIME BY EVERYONE, and at some point they have to look at if ev... (read in full...)
She says she loves me but feels that there is "something more" out there... How can this marriage be saved?
Q. I have been married for 6 years and I love my wife. She told me that she loves me and I am her best friend, but says she feels like there is something more out there. I always felt we had a good, stable, and honest marriage, but she asked me for a ...
A. 18 May 2007: Dude, I am sorry to hear this. Please see a lawyer as soon as you can, and protect your accounts, your credit, and know your rights. Even if she comes back to you now, I think you know you could never trust her again. My heart goes out to you.
-... (read in full...)
We've been married 19 years but my wife goes to clubs to meet single men!
Q. My wife and I have been married for about 19 years. She's 39 and I'm 44. For the past 6 months she's been hanging out with her recently divorced cousin (female - 44) and they have been going to nightclubs for the past 6 months about 2-3 times/we...
A. 18 May 2007: I read through you additional posts...
Dude, go see a lawyer, and learn everything you need to in order to protect yourself from in proceeding to get a divorce. Enough is enough. Grow some balls.
Put your foot down once and for all. You ar... (read in full...)
He tells me he's Gay and everyone else hes Bi.. He says he likes me but I'm confused!?
Q. I have dated this guy for 3 months, and then after that, we decided to just be friends, but cause we weren't an "item" anymore, we became toys for eachother. When the moment came where it was almost his first time, he couldn't get a hard on, and ...
A. 17 May 2007: He is leaving for college for a month...and what exactly do you want from him? A stright answer? My guess is that HE does not even know any answers to the questions you want to ask. He sounds even more confused about things than you do. Are you ... (read in full...)
My parents were over protective when I was young, Im now 21 and dont feel I have a normal life and I'm scarred!
Q. I grew up with two very overprotective parents, who wouldn't allow me to grow up, in fear of losing their little girl forever. Whenever I tried to act my age, they would give me a hard time and I would get in trouble, even if I was doing something ...
A. 17 May 2007: You are very mature for your age, and your ability to tackle your issue. I am proud to be writing to you.
My first suggestion is to dedicat yourself to learning any martial art and sepcialise in it. By learning the art of self defense it will ... (read in full...)
He always needs to have kinks and abuse in the bedroom. He makes me want to turn to the bottle for comfort!!
Q. Please help, I am in love with a loving guy for over a year now. The problems we have are: A I earn a LOT more money than he does and we're running into financial difficulties all the time due to being unorganised. B Sex, I have a high dr...
A. 17 May 2007: One more thing...
if you have not already read the gist of my other advice here...my adivce would have been EXACTLY the same if the gender roles were reversed and it as SHE that was into kink.
It is you projecting your own issues into this... (read in full...)
He always needs to have kinks and abuse in the bedroom. He makes me want to turn to the bottle for comfort!!
Q. Please help, I am in love with a loving guy for over a year now. The problems we have are: A I earn a LOT more money than he does and we're running into financial difficulties all the time due to being unorganised. B Sex, I have a high dr...
A. 17 May 2007: For the record, my answer here was not tonue in cheek, and I am very serious. People have sexual orientations (strait, gay, bi, kink, etc..) and their sexuality can not be denied out of "promises". I am involved in consulting people in alternative ... (read in full...)
I'm 22, lesbian and in a relationship with no intimacy!
Q. Hello, people who may be able to help me. Here is where I am going to whine about my problem: Okay, so, I'm twenty-two, lesbian, and have been with my girlfriend for over a year now. At the beginning we had our ups and downs, as in all relations...
A. 17 May 2007: Hi C.G.,
It is OK that you love her. It is OK that you feel obligated to care for her after the break up.
It is NOT ok, for you to stick around to be her mother, and make sure she is fine. It is your job to mother YOURSELF. It is time for y... (read in full...)
He is a drug-user and we don't see each other any more. Do I need to tell him about the baby?
Q. Recently I met a man on the internet and he seemed like everything I wanted in someone, however the first time he called me he was drunk (and driving), I know this is not a good start. However he called me 3 days afterwards and was sober and nice ...
A. 17 May 2007: It is up to you, but if you were my daughter, I would hope you would be senseible enough and went for an abortion. Chances are high that your child would also be a drug addict from birth.
If you get the abortion, then keep your mouth shut, an... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my manic depressive mother?
Q. My mother plays dirty tricks every now and then to come close to me somehow. Like she would keep my things in a place i cannot find easily and would unnecessarily cause me to enter in to an argument with her, which gives her a sense of control over ...
A. 17 May 2007: Move out, and keep as much distence between the two of you as possible, and continue to do so UNTIL she is willing to take whatever measures are necessary to make her be able to function normally. The longer you stay there, the more damage she will ... (read in full...)
My GF of 4 years is hiding her phone bill from me, texting other guys and we haven't had sex in 5 months!
Q. I started a relationship 4 years ago with a girl who i love dearly. Like most relationships it was lustful but this wained somewhat as time went by. Last year i found she was texting one of the guys at work, who has invited her down to his house to ...
A. 17 May 2007: The Frank B Kermit Rule of Relationships # 5 For Men:
How she treats you is the MOST important thing. It does not matter how much you love her. The most important thing is how she treats you. AS long as you make how you feel about her the most... (read in full...)
I made a mistake in breaking up with my long-time GF but she doesn't want me back now! Help!
Q. Recently i broke up with my girlfriend. We had been together for a long time and questions of marriage and where exactly our relationship was headed. I had never been very good with emotions so like always i freaked out and broke up with her, and ...
A. 17 May 2007: I think you are focusing on the wrong thing. You need to learn to be a man, to be able to deal with emotions, and know what you want out of relationships. She is right not to take you back. Focus on YOU. My guess is taht as soon as you get her ... (read in full...)
She says she loves me but feels that there is "something more" out there... How can this marriage be saved?
Q. I have been married for 6 years and I love my wife. She told me that she loves me and I am her best friend, but says she feels like there is something more out there. I always felt we had a good, stable, and honest marriage, but she asked me for a ...
A. 17 May 2007: Sounds like she has lots of regrets. She needs to experience life more. Basically she still needs to grow up, and when she does finish growing up, she might not be the same person that would have married you. THis really sucks. Fact is, she MADE ... (read in full...)
We've been married 19 years but my wife goes to clubs to meet single men!
Q. My wife and I have been married for about 19 years. She's 39 and I'm 44. For the past 6 months she's been hanging out with her recently divorced cousin (female - 44) and they have been going to nightclubs for the past 6 months about 2-3 times/we...
A. 17 May 2007: Ok, what I am going to state is not going to be popular but I think you need to take some action.
Firstly, why would you let your wife go to clubs with her divorced cousin? This was very predictable.
Second, no, she can not hang out in club... (read in full...)
He only went and dated the random girl that contacted him on Valentines when we broke up! Were giving it another go, but should I dump him ?
Q. My previous boyfriend and I, both 22 and never married, had been dating for almost 2 years. During out realtionship, I took him to a hockey game on Valentines Day, and he got a call from a random girl. I asked him who it was, and he said it was a ...
A. 16 May 2007: Well lying to you is not right, but it is not like he cheated on you. You were broken up, and you both were free to see other people. In truth, just because you ask about who he has been with does not mean he must tell you. He should not have ... (read in full...)
I'm 22, lesbian and in a relationship with no intimacy!
Q. Hello, people who may be able to help me. Here is where I am going to whine about my problem: Okay, so, I'm twenty-two, lesbian, and have been with my girlfriend for over a year now. At the beginning we had our ups and downs, as in all relations...
A. 16 May 2007: Ouch. I was in EXACTLY this type of relationship a long time ago. Basically, she is not interested in being in a relationship with you, BUT she does not have it in her to take the lead in her own life and break if off herself. She acts insane so ... (read in full...)
He always needs to have kinks and abuse in the bedroom. He makes me want to turn to the bottle for comfort!!
Q. Please help, I am in love with a loving guy for over a year now. The problems we have are: A I earn a LOT more money than he does and we're running into financial difficulties all the time due to being unorganised. B Sex, I have a high dr...
A. 16 May 2007: I have three suggestions for you:
1-Break up with him, stay sober, and find someone new.
2-Stay with him, stay sober, and work it out that he can give you the sex you need, but give him the freedom of seeking his kinky sex with other people. M... (read in full...)
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