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| | *ally R. Cinnamon's profile:Hello
I'm just an ordinary, English gal who speaks her mind. I think the world would be much better if we were all a bit more truthful, a bit more courageous, a bit more loving, and thought through what we do a bit more. If I can help anyone do these things, that makes my life all the more worthwhile. Get in touch with me anytime.
Sally |
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How do I learn to forgive my Mother for all the emotional abuse she inflicted on me?
Q. im trying it hard for long time to forgive my mother inside of my heart, since i was young she abuse my emotion so much, she hurt my feeling so much, she tell me all the worst word that you can not imagine that mother can tell to her daughter. i go ...
A. 19 December 2006: Honey,
I can only imagine how it must feel when you hear about other people's relationships with their mothers, and you feel sick to the heart. You have never been given the treasure of a good loving realtionship with your mother and it is so... (read in full...)
I like him but my Mom says he is bad news! What should I do now?
Q. i like this guy but my mom and friends say he is bad news, but i still like him...what do i do???...
A. 14 December 2006: Hey sweet, can you tell us more? Why do your mom and friends say he is bad news? Do you have any idea what they don't like about him? And is your mom still allowing you to see him even though she doesn't like him? -Sally... (read in full...)
Why does my bf still have a love letter from an old ex gf?
Q. help! my boyfriend and i have lived together for about 7 months. he moved into my place it was sort of a quick decision as he had no place to live. we are very happy and plan to buy a house in the new year. he asked me to find something for him ...
A. 14 December 2006: Dear Howtocope,
I don't really see why he should throw them away? I keep pictures and messages from old relationships, they remind me of happy times. If he spent 8 years of his life with this girlfriend, he doesn't surely need to erase all of i... (read in full...)
I don't know what to do... I like my ex but he has a new girlfriend!
Q. so...i know it sounds kind of pathetic, but i' ve liked this guy since 6th grade until 8th. right now im in 8th grade. we went out in 6th grade and then i dumped him because i have this thing that everytime i really like this person, i go out with ...
A. 13 December 2006: This isn't pathetic, it makes a lot of sense to me. It's only since you ended the relationship that you worked out how much you like him. Now it's driving you crazy. And to top it off, he has got a gf.
Since he's got a girlfriend, there is... (read in full...)
I'm seeing my boyfriend and also his best friend!
Q. Hi, I have been w/ my bf for 6 yrs, lived together for 4. We had our ups and downs, but we are good. I really can't see myself w/ anyone else, except his best friend. I known his friend before I met him and he hooked us up. His friend confesse...
A. 13 December 2006: Whooah Irish! You say that you and your boyfriend "are good"... but you have been cheating on him for a year. You say you don't want to be selfish... but you want both him and his best friend. And you think a solution - if you can't keep both - ... (read in full...)
We broke up, my best friend asked if she could have him, I said yes, now it's driving me insane!
Q. i just broke up with my boyfriend recently because he was way imature but 2 days after we broke up my best friend asked me if it would be ok if she asked him out so i told her yes. What was i thinking! Well,now its driving me insane! What should i ...
A. 13 December 2006: Rachellou,
It's time for you to be mature. You said, "Yes". And it was good of your best friend to ask you. Now you should stick by what you said, and bear it. It's difficult but that will pass. It won't be long before the situation chan... (read in full...)
I don't want a heart anymore
Q. i fell in love almost four years ago, it was the first, i had never been in a long term relationship before and it hit me like rain on a window pain. i needed teaching every way to act, i found myself in situations that i know know were disrespec...
A. 13 December 2006: ids,
you were disrespectful to her and you lost her. now it's time to pick yourself off the floor. you're a sensitive soul with a romantic heart and you dream of things that cannot be and will not be. your dreamworld is not real, the person y... (read in full...)
I ended a brief affair w/ my coworker, but I would like to hear others' opinions about it - any thoughts?
Q. I can't believe I'm writing this, my head must be mashed! Well, where do I start? I've been married for 4 years and have a beautiful daughter coming up to three years old. I care for my wife deeply but cannot honestly say I'm in love with her any ...
A. 12 December 2006: Hey Anon,
You care deeply for your wife... it's not impossible that you should fall madly in love with her again. It's not impossible that this marriage will succeed in giving you what you need and want. It's falling apart around you, it's tim... (read in full...)
When my fiance and I tried our relationship again, she acted distant and cold, so we've split again. Can love really turn to hate?
Q. I recently split with my fiancee as she was unfaithful. After making the decision to take her back, she changed her ways completely for the worse. She acts totally unbelievable and uncaring. She would tell me she was in love with me more than ever, ...
A. 12 December 2006: Good luck David. Much respect to you for getting out. A fine example to us all! I hope it won't be long before someone special comes into your life and replaces her. We all know on this site that you have a warm heart that deserves a caring and ... (read in full...)
When my fiance and I tried our relationship again, she acted distant and cold, so we've split again. Can love really turn to hate?
Q. I recently split with my fiancee as she was unfaithful. After making the decision to take her back, she changed her ways completely for the worse. She acts totally unbelievable and uncaring. She would tell me she was in love with me more than ever, ...
A. 12 December 2006: Hey David,
I do think it is true that love can sometimes turn to hate. It sounds unbelievable, but if you love someone who treats you badly, it can't be helped that sometimes the pain gets redirected into hate.
Or at least that has been my... (read in full...)
Does he really mean that he is sorry?
Q. last night me and my bf had our first argument (not bad after 2 months of dating) he meant to meet me after work and after standing outside for 20 mins i rang him and he said he was at work and he forgot to tell me. this upset me so we had a little ...
A. 12 December 2006: Atarisrocks,
We all make mistakes and we all need forgiveness. Yes, your boyfriend forgot the date, but it's really not worth getting upset about or making a big deal of. Learning to accept when someone says sorry is important. Are you going to... (read in full...)
During sex or masturbation I don't feel any pleasure!
Q. When i masturbate i do not feel anything good. Why is this even when the opposite sex does it to me there is still no pleasure? whats wrong with me?...
A. 9 December 2006: Honey, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you, since you are only 13 your sex-drive just isn't fully developed yet. It will happen in time.
-Sally... (read in full...)
During sex or masturbation I don't feel any pleasure!
Q. When i masturbate i do not feel anything good. Why is this even when the opposite sex does it to me there is still no pleasure? whats wrong with me?...
A. 9 December 2006: Honey, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you, since you are only 13 your sex-drive just isn't fully developed yet. It will happen in time.
-Sally... (read in full...)
Her dad doesn't trust guys!
Q. Hello I am a 16 year old (M) that needs some advice about parents. I just asked out a girl that is 15 and she said yes, but she also told me about her father who hates guys and doesn't want her to date at all. all of this is because of one guy ...
A. 9 December 2006: I think you have every chance of slowly changing your girlfriend's dad's mind. Although there's no magic wand that you can wave that will fix this immediately, time will heal his wounds. It's up to you to be yourself and in time demonstrate that ... (read in full...)
I dont want him treating me like dirt
Q. My ex boyfriend recently broke up with me 2 weeks ago, I was really heart broken I find hard to cope sometimes, I miss him so much. he broke up with me because he felt things were not the same as they used to be and he feels as if hes growing ...
A. 9 December 2006: Glamgirl,
From what you say it is impossible to tell if your boyfriend is badly treating you or not.
If he is telling the truth, and just needed a break and some time to himself because he is worried about the speed of the relationship, th... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my ex when he's such a good friend?
Q. About a month ago now my boyfriend broke up with me. it was hard as he was my first and the reason he did it was un-known really, but he did it at a very bad time as i was worried about pregnacy as we were not safe. This hurt me badly, but i did not ...
A. 9 December 2006: Chibijess,
You say you are confused about where you stand, but your boyfriend has made it clear. I know that he is cuddly, but he has ended the relationship and you have to believe him. This means you have to move on too.
If you can do... (read in full...)
He says it doesn't matter now
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years now we have had or ups and downs . A low blow came last year when i found that im unable to have children . Now he says it doesn't matter and it didn't to me untill last couple months now i want them how ...
A. 8 December 2006: Dear SecretlyInLove,
So sorry to hear that you cannot have children. It is a devastating blow and a long-term problem which will take many years to come to terms with. It is not simply solved by getting a puppy, that does not do justice to the d... (read in full...)
I think i might have mental issues and it's hurting my relationship! Please help!
Q. Well me and my girlfriend are having Problems. I am 16 Years old and she is 14. We have been dating for alittle over 11 months.I feel bad about what is going on. I make her feel bad all the time,And I know it's breaking us apart. For example ...
A. 8 December 2006: Hey Anon,
Where there is a will there is a way! You can change yourself if you really want to. I believe that very much. We can ALL become better people.
Here's a useful trick. Firstly, tell your girlfriend that you are not happy that you s... (read in full...)
I am so lonely and sick of guys only wanting me for my nice body!
Q. Wow... drama drama drama.... I hate it.... me and my ex will never get back together and I realizie that now! But with everyone around me in a relationship its hard to always keep a smile on! I mean I do but its fake..... and I will admit I am still ...
A. 6 December 2006: Just a thought, broken_in_2...
The reverse of this situation is that nobody wants you because of your body.
You get the better deal ;-)
-Sally... (read in full...)
I am 19 with a 9 month old daughter and my partner just keeps bringing me down...
Q. Hi ,my problem is that my long term partner and me are not getting on. he picks on the littlest things and brings me down on them. we have a 9 month old daughter and i am very much in love with my partner but even though i have tried to be the ...
A. 6 December 2006: Rachael,
I just want to back up what Irish has said. I think every word is true.
You are worth so much more than this man. There's a better future out there somewhere for you and your little one.
Sally... (read in full...)
I want to break up, but when I tried before he begged for me to come back! How do I do this once and for all?
Q. Hi, im 15 and gay and I have a boyfriend thats 16, he lives 90 minutes from me, i met him in july over th internet and then we met up and we been going out togther since. This was my 1st boyfriend (i had 3 girlfreinds before but i didnt love them ...
A. 6 December 2006: I've got to agree with KellyO. Its hard, but you just have to do it. You say you've matured since you've met his guy and it really does sound as if you have. You know what's important for you and what you want. And now you have chance to ... (read in full...)
During sex or masturbation I don't feel any pleasure!
Q. When i masturbate i do not feel anything good. Why is this even when the opposite sex does it to me there is still no pleasure? whats wrong with me?...
A. 6 December 2006: Would you mind telling us how old you are?
It makes a difference. It is quite common for teenage girls not to enjoy sex and masturbation. It takes some of us quite some time to get used to having pleasurable feelings. I was 19 when I first ma... (read in full...)
Should I talk to him about pics of his gal pal he has on his computer?
Q. Is there any problem with ur bf having pictures of his friend on his computer thats a girl? He has one folder of her bday pictures and she sent him her modeling pics. But this was before he met me and he still has it on his computer. Shes like the ...
A. 6 December 2006: I don't think there is anything wrong with having old pictures on his computer. They were there before he met you, and he probably hasn't given it a thought that they might upset you.
But the messages from this girl are naturally hurtful.... (read in full...)
My ex is a nightmare and is threatening to trash the rest of my stuff at his house!
Q. My ex-boyfriend is treating me terribly and is trying to bribe me with my own stuff which is at his parents house, where i used to live when i was with him. our relationship wasn't partiuarly amazing, he made me feel trapped but because i didn't...
A. 6 December 2006: I don't know whether you should take the computer back. On the one hand its yours and you are totally entitled to it. On the other its almost worth walking away from the whole thing and getting closure without any additional unnecessary guilt or ... (read in full...)
Do I ask her out and risk losing everything we have as great friends? Help me here!
Q. Ooooook theres a girl who ive known for a couple years. Shes my best friend and im hers, we even have a pact to tell each other 'i love you' at least once a day. 3 days ago i told her about another girl i liked and she broke down. That was when i ...
A. 6 December 2006: TallStuff,
I've got to agree with Frank. There's been so much said between you two already that the friendship has already changed. It won't be easy just to ignore it and carry on as close as before.
The fact that she is your best friend... (read in full...)
I'm 20, still a virgin and my last BF left me for that reason!
Q. I am 20 years old and still a virgin, all of my friends lost their virginity a few years ago. I have had a few boyfriends and have had chances to loose my virginity but have always been too shy to. A guy I was seeing recently broke up with me after ...
A. 6 December 2006: Hey, hun, look at it this way... If you weren't a virgin, you'd still not know what an absolute loser your ex is. You would still be going out with him. It might have taken you years and years to realise. This way you got to find out after a few ... (read in full...)
Should I choose the guy who I like a lot who lives far away or the guy who I kind of like who is around the corner?
Q. hey, im 17 and have a lil prob between 2 guys... just wondering do you think its wise to go for a guy iv liked for over a year and we hav heaps in commen but not sure if he even likes me. His a year older and he also lives 45mins away but when ever ...
A. 5 December 2006: Hey sweet this isn't a stupid question at all! Making decisions in life can be truly agonizing. What's always so hard is that that we can't know which of the options is the better one. There's no way we can know. And because we can only live one ... (read in full...)
He chats with his ex about non-family issues - but I don't talk to mine! This is driving me mad!
Q. I hate my bloke of 18 months being in touch with his ex. He says its because of the kids, but they chatter away about stuff that isn't related to the kids. She moved away from the area so they only chat on the phone but that is bad enough. They even ...
A. 5 December 2006: Hun, we get lots of posts from dads whose new partners find their relationships with exes a strain. They have to juggle the two most important things in their lives and its tough. Its a damn shame that it is so hard for us girls to cope because ... (read in full...)
She told me she loves me, but I'm not sure if she means it. What do I do?
Q. i really want to know something, there is a girl that i love, she means everything to me, but i do not know if she loves me back, please i need help what do i do, she told me she loves me too, but i am scared....
A. 5 December 2006: Do you have any reason for not believing her? If not, put your trust her and go from there.... (read in full...)
I want to go away to uni b/c of a boy instead of the actual course! Now I'm so confused about what I really want!
Q. I recently have been offered the opportunity to go to university in a different city to where I live. I really want to go, not only because its a course I really want to study, but because my best friend, who we each have deeper feelings for, lives ...
A. 5 December 2006: Congratulations of getting a place at university! That is soooooooooo exciting. It's an amazing opportunity in life for many, many reasons. You like the course. You already have a friend there which makes the move a little easier. It's good to ... (read in full...)
I feel like her friend or even her psychologist instead of her boyfriend! I don't know what to do.
Q. My girlfriend and I are both 20, attend the same college and have been together for 2 years. The first time I met her we were both immediately attracted to each other; we were both very outgoing, funloving, loved to go out and have a good time and ...
A. 5 December 2006: Nick,
I was once on the other side of this situation. I was the girl who was difficult to leave behind. Although it happened many years ago at university, it has continued to cause me pain throughout my life and remains one of my biggest ... (read in full...)
I love this site so much, it really helps
Q. hi i was the one who write a letter here last 2 days ago, and i am the one who is with a boy friend who got a family which is all professional., i just wanted to say thank you so much to miss sally, it gives me feel better thanks a lot. and more ...
A. 4 December 2006: thank you and good luck to you!... (read in full...)
He is well educated and all his family are professionals. Sometimes I feel I am not good enough for him..what can I do?
Q. he was devorce on his wife for more than 4 years.all of his family is all college graduate, from his parents,sisters, ex-wife, dauther ang son and also him. now he is with me, im only ordinary high school graduate, and i feel i can not follow him. ...
A. 3 December 2006: Hun, you are good enough for this man! You are, you are, you are!
It is great when someone graduates from college with a degree, they studied and achieved what they wanted to. But it doesn't turn a person into a different species. They aren't f... (read in full...)
Can I pop a pill to make my breasts bigger?
Q. I have small breasts, like just a handful, and my guy wanted to tit F*** me and I felt bad because I have nothing there. What can I do to make them look bigger in bed or is there a pill that will enlarge them? I dont want surgery. That is a NO NO NO ...
A. 29 November 2006: Don't feel bad because you have got small breasts. Your boyf couldn't tit f***, but that's just a fact-of-how-the-world-is. It's like not being able to go for a picnic because it's raining. It really is like that. It isn't your fault. We are ... (read in full...)
He says the texts are from a coworker, but I know they're from another woman!
Q. My husband and I have been together for 8 years, having just married 3 months ago. Recently, he has been sending/receiving several text messages on his phone from some girl on the other side of the country. He claims all the calls are from some new ...
A. 29 November 2006: "Am I not enough?" You should be! I disagree with the comment below that you should go to Ann Summers and write kinky texts to your husband. This makes it sound like what has happened is your fault, and it is not. It isn't up to you to change. ... (read in full...)
I think my student fancies me
Q. I am a high school teacher who's happily married and has a 2 year old son. I was doing some work after school when one of my Year 11 students came in. I'll admit for someone who is 16 she is attractive, but, I don't fancy her. The problem is that ...
A. 28 November 2006: there are a number of teachers who have gone through hell because they have been accused by students of things they didn't do. it would be a good idea i think to guard against this by getting support now. what is your relationship with the ... (read in full...)
I'm cheating on my bf with a married man who left his "then' pregnant wife for me.
Q. I don't know what to do, have been cheating on my bf for a year. I love my bf of 6 yrs to bits but he is so cold and unloving towards me. We moved in together a year and a half ago and were happy but he is away alot with work. The guy I am cheating ...
A. 28 November 2006: You make excuses for your cheating "my boyf is cold and unloving" and "he's away a lot with work." But these things are irrelevant. You make excuses for lying "I didn't want to hurt him" but really it doesn't excuse your actions. It is really ... (read in full...)
I've grown up around women who were cheated on...is this why I can't trust my bf?
Q. Hi, I am a bit confused with myself as i keep thinking that my boyfriend is cheating on me in my head (but in my heart i dont believe he would)! I have grown up around women being cheated on and i dont know how to handle this as sometimes my mind ...
A. 28 November 2006: Little B,
I can't imagine how you cope living with these thoughts all the time. It must be hell thinking of your boyf sleeping with someone as you're talking on the phone to him. I'm sure it will be very damaging to your relationship in the long... (read in full...)
We broke up and now I think my aunt is trying to get us back together? How should I deal with this?
Q. I had been dating this guy, 3 years my senior, for about a year and a half. and everything was great, but over this past summer, i broke up with him b/c i fell inlove with someone else. we had a really bad break-up, but we were on and off a little ...
A. 28 November 2006: Hi there. Your ex is making it hard for you, by appearing at these parties and not talking to you.
* Is he angry with you for the break up?
* Is he trying to demonstrate that he's okay without you and doesn't need you?
* Perhaps h... (read in full...)
Can a 12-year age gap work out or should I let it go?
Q. Okay, so I've been reading some of the posts on age differences and they're all pretty reassuring. I'll be legal (18) soon and have had a pretty strong interest in someone 12 years older than I am. We've developed a really great friendship and ...
A. 25 November 2006: Dearest Anon,
I'm glad all the posts are reassuring. The fact is that there are many, many successful relationships with age differences. It's up to you not to make it a problem. Don't turn something into an issue that really isn't. You and this... (read in full...)
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