A
female
age
,
*ock chick
writes:tonight my partner gets back from his work trip.we aren't getting on and he keeps asking me to go away for the weekend - so he doesn't have to pay to stay in a hotel which is what he has done the past 2 weekends running, as he doesn't want to see me or be around me.It is hurtful and he is picking on me for what i do and what i don't do and says he may end up being nasty to my daughter (not our daughter) ie not letting her sit in the living room to watch tv or bring her friends in..etc..hopefully soon he is giving me some money to put a deposit on a little house for me, he has promised this, and i am looking forward to being on my own again with my daughter.I am starting to feel anxious as I know when he gets in he will start on me again about going.He rang me last night around midnight, whilst really drunk, and asked if i was going to be going away at the weekend.i am feeling really tired and weary and look a bit of a mess at the moment (and feel it too).I have rushed around after work ironing, weeding, shopping before he gets back so he can't find things to have a go at me with... but i know he will.I hate this situation and I hate how he has changed over the past 6 months (ie his fling, and telling me to leave)...yet he still says he loves meI just want out now, and hope it comes sooner rather than later (i need to get off the deeds too once i get my money. i will never live with anyone again and at the moment wouldnt even want to see anyone ever again - i am not the person i was 9 months ago (although he says I have been depressed for 9 months)I am so tired i just want to go to sleep
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male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (18 May 2007):
 He THREATENED your daughter as a tactic to control you.
How much more of sign do you need before you drop the loser once and for all?
Does he need to beat you,or beat and rape and kill your daughter next before you WAKE UP?
What would you adise a MOTHER in your position? Protect her child, or not protect her child?
-FBK
A
female
reader, penta  +, writes (18 May 2007):
 Hey Rock chick,
You do sound a little depressed (being tired is only one symptom) but I have a short-term fix. GET MAD! This guy is an absolute jerk. He doesn't have a right to treat you this way, and he damn sure better leave your daughter the hell alone. You have every right to be absolutely furious (which, btw, keeps you from being sad).
You have a right to be in the house -- your money went into it and you own part of it. In the short run, if he doesn't want to see you, then HE needs to leave. DO NOT leave the house until you get a written agreement about what he owes you (if not a check for all of what he owes you). Tell him the faster he moves on this, the faster you will move out of the house. Then tell him the ball is in his court and to shut the hell up about moving -- he knows exactly when you'll leave -- once you get what's rightfully yours!
When he calls (drunk or otherwise) to ask whether you'll be there, say "of course I will. Where else would I be? You know what it will take to get me to move. So where's my check? If you don't have it, then stop bugging me." Then hang up.
Tell him you will call the police and let them know that he has threatened your daughter. (Then call the police.) Tell him that if he lays a single finger on her, you will make a follow-up call. The call after that will be for a restraining order. (I still think you need to get a lawyer.) Then tell your daughter to give him a wide berth. You really need to protect her here.
This man doesn't love you, no matter what he said. If he did, he wouldn't treat you like this, and he certainly wouldn't threaten your daughter. He doesn't have a right to treat you like this. You DON'T have to leave until you're satisfied that he's not going to cheat you out of what is rightfully yours.
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A
female
reader, Suzie767 +, writes (17 May 2007):
 who does this man think he is threatening a child?
good luck and i really hope you manage to get away from him soon
x
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