A
female
age
41-50,
*otTamale
writes:Why would someone I am dating come up with a wierd question like do I want to have a threesome with two of his freinds not even him included and says If I do he can hook me up? Is he testing meor letting me know he really doesn't care for me?
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2007): People who want to do this don't have a clear picture of what sex is, I think. It is not about being open to express sexuality, just. Sex is a powerful thing which can make and break relationships. It can increase intimacy and trust and it can also cause dreadful betrayal and loss. Some people start with what seems like simple erotic desires, when they simply can't resist the idea of enacting sex in groups etc, they just get taken over. If their partner is not 100% certain or their relationship is not 100% rock solid, it is a recipe for disaster. Even if a relationship is that strong, it does not take a rocket scientist to work out that it could still be spoiled. When a person agrees to threesomes and whatever, it seems to me that they are saying they are prepared to risk the healthy relationship with a very loved partner, in exchange for transient sexual gratification. The value of the loved one does not seem so high if that risk is worth it. Yet people are driven to do it. What goes on behind closed doors does not bother me, but I would run for the hills if I was with a person who seemed willing, even theoretically to expose our relationship to that kind of threat. I don't think he does love you deeply. I am left of field, can't help it, let the kamikaze sex lemming drop off the cliff.
A
female
reader, tropicalparadise +, writes (22 May 2007):
For him to ask I guess would improper and disrespectful.
However the experience is a dream for me. I wish my husband would ask me that question. I've offered my friends to him, and him to them. It can be a very interesting life style, but that also depends on our openess to your sexuality.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2007): Dump him, you are not married and you should not be thinking about this at this point in time.
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A
female
reader, nicola79  +, writes (22 May 2007):
 it could be either sweety. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!
if i was asked this by my partner i would run a mile,but this is just my view. i have to be truefull,i judt dont like the sound of it. i can just picture it now, him boasting to his mates saying that he could get you to do it.
i hope i am wrong,but i dont think i am flower,sorry.
you have to do what you feel is right,but please be carefull ok?
nicola.xxxxxxxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2007): From a female perspective, he sounds like he is just looking for sex and he sees you as a sex object first because you are giving him sex with no strings attached (you say you are dating, but do not say whether or not you are exclusive) he may see you as a temporary thing, and wants to get the most fun out of you before he moves on. He is definately a player, and wants to see if you are, too.
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A
female
reader, HotTamale +, writes (22 May 2007):
HotTamale is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your response! I didn't even think he was trying to pimp me out and make money off of me. That's interesting! But I do think it was some sort of test. THX!
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (22 May 2007):
 My guess is that he is testing you to see if you would be up for such a thing..maybe he wants the threesome with you, but instead of asking outright, he comes up with this senario. Another possibility is that some guys get turned on by the thought of their girls being with other guys...but that is a minority of the cases, and I do not think it applies here. Lastly, if he is serious, maybe he is trying to pimp you out, and make money off you. There is something more going on here than the surface question. Be careful.
-FBK
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