A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So I have been talking with this guy for almost 2 months now. We started by being friends for a couple of years (we were both in other relationships). When those relationships ended, it came out that we had feelings for each other. We decided to take things really slow, so at first we began by talking every other day or so, when we had time. After about a month, it progressed to talking every day and multiple times a day. He's usually the one that calls me - and it's usually on his way to work in the morning, during the day when he has free time, after work and every night before he goes to bed. Even if he goes out with friends, he'll go home and call me.We live about an hour away from each other and we both have crazy busy schedules, so we only get to see each other every now and then. At first it was MAYBE once a week (more like once every 10 days). At first it was for a quick lunch or quick dinner. Now, it's progressed to about once a week that we see each other and it's for longer periods of time. I even went to his house and stayed over the other night.We have certainly hooked up (but haven't slept together). Things seem to be progressing at a good rate, but I'm confused as to why we don't label each other boyfriend/girlfriend yet? We haven't really talked about "us". He uses the word "friend" all the time, but one time the other day he finally said "or maybe we are more than friends?" We still didn't talk about it at that point I just said "okay" (we were on the phone and I think that's an "in-person" talk); anyway, so clearly there's something there, but why then am I so anxious to put a label on it?Do we even need the label? I'm confident there's noone else in his life and there's no one else in mine. We spend majority of our time talking to each other and we see each other as often as possible - even around each others' friends...
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (18 March 2008):
 Great answer, Yos. I just would add that he might also be unsure about what the poster wants from the relationship. He is the one doing the chasing, and he was the one who actually made the question "or maybe we are more than friends?"
A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (18 March 2008):
 You wanting to call him your 'boyfriend' and wanting him to call you his 'girlfriend' is totally reasonable, and a good thing. It's a way of making the relationship more solid, more real.
He may be nervous about commitment, and hence be holding off a bit.
I suggest you have this conversation. Ask him about it. It's important if you're going to be with someone that you are able to have open, honest and adult conversations about your relationship.
I suggest discussing this (and you getting a satisfactory answer) before you have sex with him.
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