A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 17 and my girlfriend (16) has moved interstate. I've just gotten my provisional license. The only time I can see her at the moment is during her school holidays when she returns to my town. That means that there is about a 3 month gap between visits where I can only talk to her via text message and the occasional phone call when her mother is out (her mother and I don't get along, she turns her back to my relationship with her daughter provided she is not confronted with evidence of it).I have offered to drive down there some weekends, because being in my final year I only have 3 days of school each week, and driving down to see her would not impact my education. However she has low self esteem and doesn't believe she is worth me driving 12 hours.I believe she is worth it, we have been together almost 2 years and I would like to give us the best chance of a future.Is there anything more I can say to convince her she is worth it? I don't want to pressure her into allowing me to visit, but I also don't want her to have such little confidence in herself.
View related questions:
confidence, moved in, self esteem, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2008): Yes indeed Daniel. I wonder if you can buy them? I don't like the idea of wet bedsheets in the morning though!
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (18 March 2008):
 Uncle Phil, I understand what you mean. And I think you and I would let the hormones rage again...
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2008): If you think she's worth it, that's all that matters. All you have to do is get in the car and drive!
I did similar when I was 17. Depths of winter, 10 hours on a Honda 50 to go and see a girlfriend 300 miles away. Had to be lifted of the thing at the other end. Almost frozen solid. But it was worth it - I got my leg over a couple of times before riding all the way back again. Looking back, I must have been bloody stupid, or mad, or both - but the hormones were raging.
...............................
A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (18 March 2008):
I think the best way to prove her that she is well worth the 12 hour drive is to do it. Show up in the place where she is living now, after driving 12 hours. I guess that should boost her self-esteem quite a lot. You know what? It also shows a lot of commitment. You don't drive that much for someone you're not interested in.
...............................
A
female
reader, mskate  +, writes (18 March 2008):
does she live with her mom?
are you planning to just visit her and then drive back home?
or were you planning on spending the night?
since her mom hates you, where are you going to sleep?
maybe that's her way of telling you not to come down cause she'll feel bad for not being able to offer you somewhere to sleep.
if you really think she is worth driving 12 hours to see and then driving right back... and more importantly, if you can drive so safely, then just go.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2008): Just go, just be firm and say your coming if she likes it or not.
...............................
A
female
reader, Silentwisher +, writes (18 March 2008):
 Hello,
You're going to have to take it slow. I know what it feels like to have low self esteem, trust me it isn't nice. You've got to make her feel wanted and beautiful without going over the top. Take it easy, perhaps throw in a surprise visit every now and then soon she will realise that you love her and want to make the effort to see her. don't worry if it is meant to be it will be, you've both got your whole lives ahead of you.
I hope I have helped even a little
...............................
|
