A
female
age
36-40,
*attooedStacy
writes:Here is the background. I married the wrong man for the wrong reasons... I found someone else who was the person I had wanted to be with.Him and I started a relationship in June of 07 and ended in Oct 07 with him going back to his wife. He would tell me how he was thinking of leaving for months but never knew if he would be able to. She is Japanese he is American. She would go on and on about how much she hated his tattoos, and motorcycles and dogs and the fact he was in the Navy (we are stationed in Japan). At first he was just a close friend of mine, and we were always attracted to each other but never said anything.Then, one day it all came out.At first it was just advice and as we hung out it became more. He asked me to move in with him after she had moved out and suggested I sell my car since he had a Jeep and two motorcycles.Then, he got into a motorcycle accident, after she walked in on us in their bed.... he then wanted "re-prioritized" his life. He wanted to think things through and make a decision.His wife went to Thialand for 2 weeks and he came right back to me for advice. I told him to leave her even if things didn't work out between him and I he would be happier in the end. After his wife came back we talked daily about everything (including my marriage).One day he stopped talking to and didn't for the next 5 months. He finally came up to me after he had been drinking and said, "I can't talk to you any more because if I do I will want to leave my wife again." I told him if thats the case he might as well leave now. I know their marriage is rocky and he would be better off (he has even admitted it not only to me but others) but he never seems to go anywhere. There is a lot more to this problem then stated here, so please if you want to know more or think you can help me message me...
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (18 March 2008):
 It seems your divorce will be for the better, for everyone. Once you get this sorted out, you can sort out the rest of the issues.
I think you need to do a lot of soul-searching. Think about yourself and what you want. If you want to find happiness, you need to know what happiness means for you.
Take much care, Tattooed Stacy, and please come back if you need us.
A
female
reader, TattooedStacy +, writes (18 March 2008):
TattooedStacy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am in fact getting divorced, my husband and i were very compatible physically but that was it....
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A
female
reader, amazon  +, writes (18 March 2008):
oh boy you have you a serious problem here. First tell you husband the truth and get out of you marriage before you hurt your husband any longer. Second i've been in the exact situation myself and i was told that he was afraid to leave. so he may want to leave but is insecure and to clingy because he married for the wrong reasons too. Insecure people live by basic needs and thats no place for romantic love. That's why he seems so confused and is confusing you. love vs security. love vs security he plays this over and over in his head but is scared to make a move. So you have to make the move.
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A
male
reader, Richard_EMids  +, writes (16 March 2008):
 Hi Tatooed Stacy. Let's forget this other guy and just talk about you and your life. You say that you married the wrong man for the wrong reasons. That's the issue you should be concentrating on. Deciding to persist with or finish your marriage. Understanding what the reasons were and how you avoid making the same mistake again.
Take care, Richard.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (16 March 2008):
Tattoed Stacy, if there's more to the story, please let us know. You can click on my nickname if you want to mail me.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2008): I'd let him live his hectic and confused life to him to live: by himself.
I'd move on and find someone else more stable.
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