A
female
age
41-50,
*lefant
writes:Recently my new boss called me his soulmate. We have never been intimate, but we spend a lot of time together outside of work. What does the word soulmate connotate to a man? Further, he has never crossed any physical barriers with me. What do you think?
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male
reader, SamuraiRick +, writes (9 July 2008):
 I am opening up my case and will ammend my answer. It sounded a little sour grapes, and I appologise if it did.
Yes, I do believe in true love but I wont use the term soul-mate. Its a matter of semantics for me. There is true love and if you want to use the term "soulmate" than you are welcome to it. I just have my own reasons not to.
But there is such a thing as true love...and true romance.
There now.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2008): I think you need to ask him what he means by the term 'soulmate'.
Far too often people use this word simply to describe their feelings with whom they feel a lot of love/affection for. Others, who know the true meaning, do not use the term loosely.
He may feel a connection with you that you may not be aware of. Often, people are not aware of the spiritual connection.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2008): A very good friend, so close you don't even have to say what you think anymore, the other just knows.
It doesn't have to be sexual at all.
It is just a relation that goes beyond being good friends but without straying into sex.
Does he want sex with you? Possible but you would have to be more specific about your relationship, he might just have meant to say he thinks of you as a very very good friend and would hate to loose you BUT is NOT intrested in you sexually.
If there has never been a hint of intimacy or desire on his part, I would just take it as a decleration of friendship and leave it at that.
If you want more,but are unsure. Sorry, it could have been anything from "we are good friends and I am intrested in more but not sure if you want to" to "we are good friends but lets keep it like that and not mess it up with sex and anyway, I don't fancy you that way".
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A
male
reader, H2H +, writes (16 March 2008):
No matter which way you look at it, he's suggesting he has a thing for you.Focus on him being your boss is a major "Hazard Ahead" warning sign. Proceed with caution and eyes wide open to all the possibilities.--H2H
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (16 March 2008):
 Thank you for the equation, Ask_oldersister. How does it help the poster?
It seems I upset you. I apologize. If you want to discuss this with me, we can mail each other. By the way, I still feel happy you're on my friend's list.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2008): Soulmate means pretty much the same thing, to men as it does to a woman. Usually a guy means, he feels a deep connection, something he is unable to describe, something he hasn't felt with any other person before. You don't say how long you have known him, though? You do describe him as being a 'new boss' so based on the assumption you both met in recent times, he might be jumping the gun here by calling you his 'soulmate'already. Proceed with caution, he might be a tad over-exuberant and is moving this potential relationship, a bit too fast. My advice: Take your time, getting to know him really, really well. Go into his life and his world, meet more of his friends and his family. Learn all you can about him, by observation and what his actions are. If he respects you, treats you admirably and 'shows' that his interest in you as being honorable, then enjoy the time with him, but be sensible. Time will tell.
Now, I didn't read anywhere in your posting where it states he is married! Is this new boss of yours, married, as was suggested below? Because if he is, and he's telling you you are his 'soulmate' I would be wary and take that as a serious 'red flag', hun. He might be just looking for a fling and is putting the ole charm on.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (16 March 2008):
English is not my mother tongue. So I looked the word up just to make sure I understood what it means. I found that a soulmate is "someone with whom one has a special, almost spiritual connection".
Maybe he does want to have a relationship with you (sex, in the end). But he's letting you know in a careful manner. If you don't like this, let him know at once, and directly. He seems to be the kind of man who will stop.
It doesn't seem like a comment a boss should make.
I'm not sure whether this is at the bottom of your question, but I would recommend that you don't have a relationship with any coworker, and absolutely not with your boss. If he is underage, has any relationship with anyone (boyfriend, friend with benefits, husband, whatever; that is, if he's not absolutely free), or works with you, just don't do it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2008): To me, and I'm probably the odd man out, means we are an ideal match, that our likes and dislikes are similar, that we strengthen each others weaknesses. It says we enjoy each other completely. It can also mean that we reject no part of each others body; enjoying every or almost every part (no anus for me).
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A
male
reader, SamuraiRick +, writes (16 March 2008):
Im very sour on the term "Soulmate" because my ex wife used the term to describe our relationship. My ex-wife used that term. I close my case.
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A
male
reader, Stroller  +, writes (16 March 2008):
 You're right - it normally means lover, in the most ideal life-partner sense of the word. Without context it's impossible to say what he meant by it - maybe he was just kidding around - but if it's raising alarm bells then maybe you should talk to him about it. I would say that this is an opening for an intimate relationship, if you're up for it, or perhaps he needs to be told that you're not interested. I guess it'd be possible to have a platonic soulmate, but make sure his wife knows about it!!
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