A
male
age
36-40,
*sob
writes:I dated a girl in college during my senior year for about 6 months. I ended it since I felt I needed to get out and have a crazy time during my last months in college and felt she would hold me back (she was underage). She didn't take it well, since I basically kicked her out on the street at the time.We didn't talk much at all for about 8 months until I saw her when I visited college. It was unexpected and brief, but a week later I found myself desperately wanting to get back together. Unfortunately for me, she was starting a new relationship (hadn't been with anyone since me) and I was living far away. After about a month of heartbreak, I got over it and again really didn't talk to her much over the next 10-12 months.Then, this past January, I saw her at a conference. We spent a lot of time together and although she was still dating the guy, continually txt messaged and called me during the week we were together. We eventually had a long talk on the last night and she admitted still having feelings for me and not being able to look me in the eyes because it made her weak. But, she said she felt fine when I wasn't around and when she was with her current bf. After we went separate ways I told her I wanted to try and make things work, but she told me she loved her bf a lot and couldn't leave him. Since then, we've kept in touch by chatting every week or so. She is graduating from college and moving soon but her bf is staying at college for another year.I saw her two weekends ago and now I really want to try to make things work, but am not sure how to do it. We will be living in totally different areas. She's graduating and starting a new job. I'm hoping that the distance will end her current relationship. I know I should wait it out and see what happens between them, but my feelings are so strong right now that I want to call her up and tell her I want her.Any advice? What does it mean if everytime I see her I want to get back together with her? I know if we were living in the same area and saw each other regularly that it would probably work out. But that may not happen for another year...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2008): Sounds like karma got you for being a shallow asshole. If she wants to give you a second chance, that's one thing, but you aren't owed one.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (2 May 2008):
 "tirer la serviette".
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (2 May 2008):
"throw the towel", sorry. If you want to understand me better, "tirar la toalla", "atirar a toalha".
:-). Zorry. Inglish is not my neitiv tongue.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2008): I agree with danielepew, I mean you hadn't given her much thought until you bumped into her that time, the age old boring old saying that we always want something we can't have???
She has her life sorted and is moving onwards and upwards and has already said that she is in love with her BF?
She may also be worried that if she leaves him for you that after a while you will get bored with her again and dump as you did before.
I think she has too much to lose.
A year is a long time and i am sure you will meet someone alse in that time and forget all about her?
I am sure she will always be there for you as a freind, leave her to live her own life and you yours.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (2 May 2008):
I think that she has told you where you stand: she loves her boyfriend a lot and couldn't leave him. That leaves you out of the game.
On the other hand, let's look beyond her words. She is finishing college and is moving away. That means she is also moving away from you. She hasn't changed her plans, and I suppose you know about them because she told you so.
I think you should drop the towel. It's for the better.
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