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This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
28 November 2010: Recently, I found this poem by Maya Angelou. I think it pretty well summarizes how women should feel about themselves. Here it is, in case it benefits anyone. PHENOMENAL WOMAN by Maya Angelou Pretty women wonder where my secret lies I'm n...
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This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 December 2008: Something one of my aunts sent me: When I was born, the doctor went to the waiting room and told my father: "We did all we could, but he was born alive". My mom didn't know whether she should keep me or the placenta. Since I was born before ...
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I thought things were good but now I'm not sure what is going on
Q. I recently met this lady through 'facebook' and we started to meet each other and on the third occasion we decided that she came back to my place. She was so keen on me and kept putting herself down and said I could do better than her, but there wa...
A. 30 June 2009: Your next move has to be to move on. Sorry.... (read in full...)
If a man ejaculates a lot, does that mean he has not had sex for a while?
Q. Just wondering if I can get some help on a sex question I have. I have heard that when a man ejaculates a lot that means he has not had sex for a while. Is this true? Thanks for reading....
A. 4 June 2009: Steve S,
This is the information I received when I was a kid in Sex Ed. I have never had to worry about what happens with it. Anyway, it's my mistake. I have noticed there's less sperm coming out of Peter if you keep doing it.
Daniel... (read in full...)
I can't things end like this, can I? He disappeared and I didn't know he had pneumonia!
Q. Ok so, I was going out with this guy for a few months. It was decent relationship when we were actually communicating. But after having the same problems, repeatedly I ended it. It took 3 weeks to actually leave him. Then one day I stop hearing from ...
A. 4 June 2009: I think you should try to send something to the hospital and, depending on what he says, call him or visit him.... (read in full...)
Males please-He seems to like me but I'm unsure about how to make the first move
Q. Of course all help and/or opinions will be much appreciated, but if possible a male's opinion would be amazing. There's this guy that I've liked for a while, probably a couple of months now and up until about 3 weeks ago, the most I'd said to...
A. 4 June 2009: Nobody is perfect. But maybe you can use the fact that you haven't seen him in a long time to arrange something.
I hope you're not Chelsea fans?... (read in full...)
If a man ejaculates a lot, does that mean he has not had sex for a while?
Q. Just wondering if I can get some help on a sex question I have. I have heard that when a man ejaculates a lot that means he has not had sex for a while. Is this true? Thanks for reading....
A. 3 June 2009: Yes, it is true.
Every day, testicles produce a given amount of sperm. The amount varies from man to man. That sperm has to find a way out. If it doesn't go out in sexual intercourse, it leaves the body spontaneously at night (the so-calle... (read in full...)
Do guys get turned off by inverted nipples?
Q. Do men mind inverted nipples? I really wanna be naked with my boyfriend of 9 months who is 15 years old but i have an inverted nipple. Will he mind? And will it be a turn off for him? Please answer.. I'm really embarrassed!...
A. 3 June 2009: I don't.... (read in full...)
When should I tell him? Before we meet, or in person?
Q. Hi, I have asked a couple of questions before and want to thank firsthand for the good answers. I met this guy by accident, over the phone, it was a work related conversation that led to talk about us and exchange phone numbers. I called him a co...
A. 3 June 2009: Escríbeme un mensaje privado y te voy a decir algo.... (read in full...)
When should I tell him? Before we meet, or in person?
Q. Hi, I have asked a couple of questions before and want to thank firsthand for the good answers. I met this guy by accident, over the phone, it was a work related conversation that led to talk about us and exchange phone numbers. I called him a co...
A. 3 June 2009: If he had a genetic disease, you would want him to tell you. It's not something you have to be ashamed of, but it is indeed something people need to know. Anyways, if he sees you in person, he will know. So, I think you should tell him.
You s... (read in full...)
Wanting a baby with an older husband...
Q. How do I get my 55 year old husband to want a baby with me? I just turned 30. We have been married only 2 and a half years but I want one real bad. He is not sure. We already adopted his grandson permanently and he is a nice 7 year old boy. I'm not ...
A. 2 June 2009: If you can get over the medical reasons, there are still other reasons why he is against having children. He's done all that already and might not feel like beginning again. As to rearing a child, he already has done that, and is doing it again; ... (read in full...)
Is this normal for a friendship or do you think it's becoming something more?
Q. My best friend says our flirting confuses her :S Were both 19 and both in relationships with two guys. We've been best friends for about 4 years. And we have always had a special connection with each other. We flirt constantly, give each other ...
A. 2 June 2009: This might be becoming something more. You don't know what she has really had in her mind all these years. Maybe you're straight and you were just joking, but you can't know whether that was the case for her, too.... (read in full...)
Do I just expect too much from him?
Q. Ok....Here goes. I've been married for about 3 1/2 years to a man from Africa (...thats right, Africa) I love him very much and try to show him this in different ways. But he on the other hand, has never...ever been able to show me that he really ...
A. 2 June 2009: The bank account might be anything.
My first suspicion is that he might be hiding money from you. This kind of tricks exist in every culture, I guess.
I don't understand what you mean by his bank account being linked to his parents' bank ac... (read in full...)
Do I just expect too much from him?
Q. Ok....Here goes. I've been married for about 3 1/2 years to a man from Africa (...thats right, Africa) I love him very much and try to show him this in different ways. But he on the other hand, has never...ever been able to show me that he really ...
A. 2 June 2009: Well, "West African" is another big generalization. But, your addition shows that he does not see why he should compromise. It's perhaps a little early to say you should leave him; try to have a little discussion with him in this regard.
Somet... (read in full...)
Should I follow my head or my heart?
Q. I felt that my new relationship (4 months) was progressing great. I was taken aback by how it ended. Saturday night we had a nice romantic time together. Sunday we had what I consider being a small argument and she told me on the spot that that ...
A. 2 June 2009: I think you should almost always follow your head. Because there is room to reason when it comes to love. It does not make sense to insist on maintaining a relationship where one of the parties doesn't want to. And it would hurt your heart a lot ... (read in full...)
Do I just expect too much from him?
Q. Ok....Here goes. I've been married for about 3 1/2 years to a man from Africa (...thats right, Africa) I love him very much and try to show him this in different ways. But he on the other hand, has never...ever been able to show me that he really ...
A. 2 June 2009: I agree with the fact that men are very different from American men. I can relate to that because I'm not American myself. I know what he means.
I would like to say, however, that "African" is too much of a generalization. It can mean Egptian ... (read in full...)
I like him but I need time
Q. What do you do when you are in a rebound relationship after your divorce 6 months ago, you like the man but he's in love and wants to know whether you love him the same way or not right away? I like him but I need time. He seems to know that he ...
A. 2 June 2009: Just one thing I forgot to add. He can understand your situation, but, what message do you convey by saying you need time? He can't avoid thinking that maybe it's not worth committing that much to someone who isn't sure she loves him. Wear his ... (read in full...)
I like him but I need time
Q. What do you do when you are in a rebound relationship after your divorce 6 months ago, you like the man but he's in love and wants to know whether you love him the same way or not right away? I like him but I need time. He seems to know that he ...
A. 2 June 2009: Try to see the situation from his side. He's already sure he loves you, and you're divorced already. In his mind, your situation is final; he can't see why you should not try your luck with him. Neither do I. If the relationship doesn't work ... (read in full...)
Should I leave my husband?
Q. hi im 26 and have 3 children, i have been with my husband for 10 years and married for 2. For the last year we argue non stop about everything. We have not had sex in 6 mnths we dont sleep in the same bed, and i dont feel as though i love him, i ...
A. 2 June 2009: I think you should leave. I only have your words to picture the situation, but it seems that he's moving away from you, and there needs to be a reason why he´s keeping the money. Also, not supporting his children is just unacceptable. I don't ... (read in full...)
She's 5 or 6 years older than me should I date her ?
Q. I work with a girl, really attractive and really nice. I talk to her on days when we work together and whatnot. The only real problem is that she's 5 or 6 years older than me (i can't remember her age). I am nineteen years old. I really have a thing ...
A. 2 June 2009: You should date her.... (read in full...)
Is it worth trying to analyse a break-up?
Q. Is it worth trying to analyze a break-up? I literally just broke up with my boyfriend 2 hours ago and I know he and I won't be talking, seeing or emailing each other ever again. I don't understand what went wrong and why it all ended when we both ...
A. 2 June 2009: Analyzing a break-up makes a hell of a lot of sense, because that is the only way you can learn from it and make sense of what you were feeling and why you were acting like you did.
I'm sorry to disagree with one aunt. I wouldn't bet on his retu... (read in full...)
Help!!! I don't want to be married any more but am scared to be single...
Q. Hi I don't want to be married any more but I am afraid to be single. It would mean huge financial losses and a free fall but I want to feel what being in love feels like again. We have been married 22 years but it is now an empty love marraige...
A. 2 June 2009: I believe that we should not miss the point that the poster is asking the question in good faith. His situation is that of many people. I don't think there is an easy answer.
I don't think one should stay with one's partner just because one has ... (read in full...)
Help!!! I don't want to be married any more but am scared to be single...
Q. Hi I don't want to be married any more but I am afraid to be single. It would mean huge financial losses and a free fall but I want to feel what being in love feels like again. We have been married 22 years but it is now an empty love marraige...
A. 2 June 2009: This post of yours has many angles to it.
I guess, however, that it's clear that, as is almost always the case in life, to win something you have to give something else up. There can't be a solution that will keep everyone happy. The supposed... (read in full...)
He's 30ish, I'm 14, is it illegal for the two of us to date?
Q. Well i like a guy who is about thirty years old but im only 14. would it be illegal for u s to date?...
A. 1 June 2009: It's illegal, but, above all, it's extremely inappropriate, and immoral: Here's an adult abusing a child.... (read in full...)
I thought things were good but now I'm not sure what is going on
Q. I recently met this lady through 'facebook' and we started to meet each other and on the third occasion we decided that she came back to my place. She was so keen on me and kept putting herself down and said I could do better than her, but there wa...
A. 1 June 2009: I am trying not to be blunt, but perhaps that's the only way to discuss this.
Real personal contact is the tried and true way to know whether you can make it with someone. By "contact" I mean much more than chats over Facebook and three get-toge... (read in full...)
Is having oral sex unprotected a risk?
Q. i have been having oral sex with a man for the last 4yrs regularly most days the reason for this is he is on medication so cant have intercourse i have been told this is wronge as i could get infected by not protecting our selfs during all ...
A. 1 June 2009: In principle, oral sex, as sex in general, does entail some risks. However, if you're both healthy and have been absolutely monogamous for four years now, I assume it would be close to impossible to get any sexually transmitted infection. I assume ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for a husband and wife to only have sex once every 3 months?
Q. I am a 42 year old woman who recenly got married (it will be a year in june) Is it normal for a husband and wife to only have sex once every 3 months? He looks at porn almost everyday..some of it that I found is a little on the weird side like ...
A. 31 May 2009: "Normal" is a word I don't like to use in this regard. But I do find it "unusual" that he married you so recently and has barely touched you.
I do think you need to talk to him and ask him to spill the beans. He needs to make it clear what is ... (read in full...)
Should I just try to stay friends for now?
Q. I have been dating this guy and he seems unsure of what he wants. He lives in another town so the distance makes it hard to see each other. I know he is going through a hard time because his daughter was just born a few months ago. He and his ex w...
A. 31 May 2009: Maybe he's got a lot on his plate now, so he is focused on other things. Maybe he has lots of things to work out with his ex-wife.
That said, you also need to know where you stand with him, and that is not going to happen if you stay quiet an... (read in full...)
Are we responsible for her even though she chose to move out?
Q. My 16 year old daughter has decided she cannot live with our rules. As much as it is killing me to let her move out, I think for her it might be the only way to learn that our household rules were not that bad. She has always been very strong ...
A. 31 May 2009: Sorry. I have no knowledge of Canadian law, but I think common sense would indicate that, if she chooses to go on her own, she's on her own. Otherwise there's no point in her bravado. I am fully aware that "common sense" is often nowhere to be ... (read in full...)
Should I leave my husband after his affair? Or stay in eternal pain?
Q. I need advice, should I leave my husband or stay with him and live in eternal pain after his affair, which happened last summer? I will never forget what he did to me and our daughter. I found a text from his tutor at work saying night babe i love ...
A. 31 May 2009: I think this is for you to decide. You might need some clarity as to what you can expect, from now on.
I a very succint way, I think that, if you stay with him, you can keep your family and much of your life, as it used to be. On the other ha... (read in full...)
I find older women very attractive, is there anything wrong with that?
Q. Ok im 18 f i have this problem. I seem to find older women attractive but i simply cant be coz its just wrong it says in the Bible. I dont know what to do. Please help!...
A. 31 May 2009: Where in the Bible did you read that?
I remember that some friends of mine used to say whatever came to their minds, and when people asked them what their basis to say that was, they would always claim they had read it in Galatians. So, I assume... (read in full...)
Do men like older virgins?
Q. Men and Older Virgins? I know most men are into young women - especially if they are still chaste and virginal - but what do men think of older women who are still virgins? For example women in their 30s or even 40s as there are still some of us ab...
A. 30 May 2009: I'm with Oldersister.... (read in full...)
I'm slowly developing a hatred towards women...
Q. A girl that I've been crushing over for about a year just rejected me. In my lifetime I've developed crushes over many girls and not one of them ever said yes, I can't fucking take rejection any more, I can't even feel the pain, I'm slowly ...
A. 30 May 2009: Don't exaggerate. Rejection hurts, but that's not every woman's fault. When you take the initiative, you take your chances of being rejected. Try analyzing what happened and why, and you'll learn a lot about how not to get rejected next time. Or ... (read in full...)
Are there risks involved with having sex with two women at the same time?
Q. hey, can i get any STI's or anything like that through having sex with two woman at the same time, without using a condom. is it safe to put my cock into one woman, then into another and back again? is there any risks?...
A. 29 May 2009: If all of you are healthy, then the only risk is making two women pregnant at the same time, and at an age when you should not be a father. That risk is scary enough for me.
Now, you're always at risk of catching a sexually transmitted disease,... (read in full...)
Are my expectations just too high?
Q. My boyfriend passed away 3 years ago and he was my first love, my first everything in fact. We dated for 5 years, so you can imagine how attached I was to him. Now that I've accepted it and a couple years have gone by i'm dating a new guy whom i ...
A. 29 May 2009: I hope you will get over your late boyfriend. You owe yourself the chance to be happy again.
I think that anyone who has been in more than one relationship sort of compares one and the other. You used to understand relationships one way, and... (read in full...)
Difference between loving someone and being in love with someone?
Q. my boyfriend told me and his friends that he loves me, but he's not in love with me. He says that may come in time. What should I do? Is there a differance between loving someone and being in love. He shows all the signs with his actions that he is ...
A. 29 May 2009: Maybe what you mean is that he is kind, polite and respectful. Maybe he is what you would call "lovable", but not "loving". English makes that wonderful distinction between one thing and the other.
If someone says he doesn't love someone ... (read in full...)
How to deal with chest hair?
Q. i have a pretty hairy chest, but i dont really want one anymore, ive tried to shave it but all that it left me with was multiple ingrown hairs, rough stuble. I want a smooth hairless chest, is there anyway to get that?, maybe waxing?...
A. 29 May 2009: I suppose you can get a hairless chest if you need to, but I wonder why that is a problem.... (read in full...)
How important is it that a girl is pretty?
Q. i`m wondering how important it is that a girl is pretty? i`m a 17 year old girl, and i have never been in a relationship. i`m really ugly (people have called me man-face and so on) and fat, and have no selfesteam what so ever. i feel really alone, ...
A. 29 May 2009: Beauty is important for everyone, but it is certainly not all, and, if you think about it, it's not the most important aspect of a person.
Once I met a woman who was astonishingly beautiful and I felt like I had been struck by a lightnin... (read in full...)
We're sexually incompatible
Q. during sex my boyfreinds ercetion seems to get worse and he keeps insisting that he is erect no matter how hard he tries i have now lost interset in having sex.i say lets try different positions but hes quite set in his ways , he likes playing with ...
A. 28 May 2009: One more thing: Be careful in adding Viagra or anything like that to anything he drinks. I understand Viagra has some cardiac side effects, and please don't suppose that someone your age can't have cardiac problems.... (read in full...)
We're sexually incompatible
Q. during sex my boyfreinds ercetion seems to get worse and he keeps insisting that he is erect no matter how hard he tries i have now lost interset in having sex.i say lets try different positions but hes quite set in his ways , he likes playing with ...
A. 28 May 2009: Let me see if I understand what happens:
He loses his erection, but insists he doesn't. Then, the only way to turn him on is to suck on his nipples. And he will only accept making love in the positions he prefers, never one you would like.
... (read in full...)
Is this cheating? Should I tell him? Please help!
Q. I met someone and we spent about two-three weeks hanging out and eventually being intimate, then that person left to travel for a few months. During that time we spoke on the phone every day, and at one point sort of verified a commitment to one ...
A. 28 May 2009: I think this was cheating, indeed. Some people will not think so because of how the relationship started and was maintained, but I think this is a matter of what you told the guy: if you said you were in a relationship, then this is cheating.
... (read in full...)
Grilfriend physically cannot give head. Move on, wait, or accept it?
Q. Hey I have posted this question before but didn't explain enough so the advice I received wasn't particularly relevant. The problem I seem to have is that I am in a 5 month ongoing relationship- we are both 21 and I have never received head to...
A. 27 May 2009: I understand she needs to fix her jaw. However, there's no free ride here: there's no "fix your jaw, so you will also be able to perform oral sex".
I don't think this one aspect should be an excuse for watching porn.
I don't think it would b... (read in full...)
Grilfriend physically cannot give head. Move on, wait, or accept it?
Q. Hey I have posted this question before but didn't explain enough so the advice I received wasn't particularly relevant. The problem I seem to have is that I am in a 5 month ongoing relationship- we are both 21 and I have never received head to...
A. 27 May 2009: Yes, you're being unreasonable. It seems the girl has no value for you unless she performs oral. Or, that a girl is valuable only if she does. Wow.... (read in full...)
Is it possible to fall in love with someone you have never met?
Q. is it possible to fall in love with someone u have never met but just spoken on the phone constantly probably a year ...
A. 26 May 2009: I agree with Britt. I believe that the personal qualities and the general way of being can indeed be felt over the phone, e-mail, chat, and perhaps in other ways, too. However, meeting the person and actually finding what s/he is like is the real ... (read in full...)
Women who have left their husbands..how did you finally make the choice?
Q. I know,it is a very hard question.. But I wonder, how those, who decided to leave their husband were making their choice? When is it really enough, even if it is, painful, and risky? And very unsure ,how it will be after.. Cheating ? Abuse ? What i...
A. 25 May 2009: I have certainly never left a husband (and never will :-), since I'm straight), and never been married, but, at risk of underestimating your situation, I will make some comments based on the decision to leave someone you love, even if you're not ... (read in full...)
Males please-He seems to like me but I'm unsure about how to make the first move
Q. Of course all help and/or opinions will be much appreciated, but if possible a male's opinion would be amazing. There's this guy that I've liked for a while, probably a couple of months now and up until about 3 weeks ago, the most I'd said to...
A. 20 May 2009: I think we can't be sure whether he likes you, or liked the fact that he could talk about your common team. However, if you like him, let it show, and that way you'll know if he likes you too. Too bad the season is almost over, but perhaps you can ... (read in full...)
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