A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My best friend says our flirting confuses her :SWere both 19 and both in relationships with two guys. We've been best friends for about 4 years. And we have always had a special connection with each other. We flirt constantly, give each other the eye and check each other out all the time. But we are both straight. All our friends mess around saying we are like two lesbians the way we act with each other, but we both feel so comfortable around each other flirting etc, we don't flirt with other girls though.One night on holiday we were drunk and went skinny dipping in the sea, this was the first time we saw each other naked, and we both admitted to each other that i thought she looked hot naked and she thought i did. We both couldn't take our eyes off each other; and we were both giving each other the eye and giving out cheeky looks, like licking our lips at each other, but that is as far as it went.A few week later I was on the phone talking to her, and out of the blue she said really seriously 'I just don't get you? I cant stop thinking that you're flirting and 'love taps' make me so confused!' I was really surprised because we are both as bad as each other for it, and i don't know why it would confuse her, we have been like this for 4 years so why now? Then jokingly she said 'Your naughty and leading me on'. I just laughed it off but now I'm confused as to why she said it, do you think she' gay? The truth is though, (I'm straight but..) I can't seem to get her off my mind either, is this normal for a friendship or do you think its becoming something more?
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male
reader, mytwocents  +, writes (3 June 2009):
 It sounds like she was testing the waters. It’s a semi-aggressive, semi-careful move. That’s exactly the kind of remark you tell a friend (of the opposite sex) when you start to fancy them and want to see if they’re feeling similarly or whether you’re way off. I’ve said this kind of thing to female friends of mine to check their interest several times. You can tell a lot from the response without putting yourself out there completely, or making the conversation heavy and jeopardizing the friendship. You’re keeping it friendly, but turning up the heat slightly.It sounds like you’re interested in her as more than a friend. But you have to decide if it’s something you should pursue. You seem to have an electric connection with her, so I don’t see why not. That’s not incredibly common.If you decide that you ARE interested, I would return with a similar remark to communicate your own interest in the same way she did. Say, for instance, that you casually called her on the phone, like you normally would, and then at some point in the conversation referred to her as a “little naughty tease.” I’m sure she’d lose her mind with excitement! She’s ready to make a move on you, and you’d be giving her the green light.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2009): It sounds to me that your both are considering taking your friendship to another level. Maybe her, more than you, but I don't think you are totally against the thought. It's okay to experiment, and explore your sexuality!
I doubt if either one of you are "gay"...just bi-curious!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2009): Sounds like it might be a "girl crush" on your part at least -- read the following article for more info, or just google "girl crush":
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/08/11/fashion/thursdaystyles/11CRUSH.html
Good luck! xx
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A
female
reader, hemé'oono +, writes (2 June 2009):
 Seems to me that it could be something more. There is nothing wrong with being bisexual. You can like guys and still think chicks are hot.
If you think you want to know more then just ask her if shes ever had a bi experience and admit to your curiosities. Maybe that question will open the door to some other exploration.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (2 June 2009):
 This might be becoming something more. You don't know what she has really had in her mind all these years. Maybe you're straight and you were just joking, but you can't know whether that was the case for her, too.
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