A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Has my 'boyfriend' become serious??? asked my boyfriend indirectly of course when we had been dating for three months where our relationship was going, he replied that he liked me, but was not sure if he wanted anything serious because he didnt know what he was going to do with his life or where he would be in the future (he is not from the uk) when he said that something inside me changed and I acted differently he noticed it and asked me why i had change i just said i am ok, Which i was, things were just clearer and i knew where i stood. But since that day almost a month and half later things have change, he has been more attentive, and acting like a 'serious' boyfriend, his friends both male and female and even his boss and work colleagues love me!Basically i am confused, has his feeling changed towards me? oh i must mention we havent had sex yet, something tells me he knows i dont want a fling because i basically said that to him when we first met, and so he doesnt want to have sex with me until he can fully commit,anyhow i know it has not been long but for the first time i have found a guy i like and not embarrassed to show my friends and family,so should i stick around? can someone please help me to understand what is happening here. I dont want something serious right now but i dont like the thought of it never becoming serious, thats just wasting my time Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2007): Thank you so much, i think he did expect me to freak when he said he wanted nothing serious! I will see how things go but if it doesnt change it is his lost, I will find someone that wants what i want!
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (17 August 2007):
 I'm with Tellulah. Wait for a little while and see if he gets serious.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2007): Well in my opinion, asking HIM where your relationship stands is giving him too much power and minimizing your role in this relationship. Forget him for a moment. What do YOU want? Where do you want it to stand? Just stand your ground a little more. Like with my boyfriend, I think we had been going out a month or less and I too was curious. And I think I said something like, "well I have been considering myself your girlfriend." Kind of like a question BUT also like a fact. And he just said something like, "oh yeah." And that is how we became "official." You see I didn't really ask him what he wanted (guys hate that), I just kind of told him. But I'm also the type of person that if I like you, I am either going to be your official girlfriend or nothing at all. I don't dig this in between status where I am unsure and waiting for something that might or might not happen. I have been there when I was younger and more naive and I know now that it is never worth it. So if I were you, I would just take the matter into my own hands and tell him that you consider yourself his girlfriend (it's been long enough, trust me). And see what he says. And if he still has an issue about committment, then take what he is saying seriously. Cause I have learned that when a guy says he is not interested in commitment, what it really means is that he is not interested in a committment with you. That is not worth your time.
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (17 August 2007):
 Hi,
I think that when he told you how he felt, that maybe he expected a different reaction. But because you were ok with this and have slightly changed towards him and are having doubts, as to wether it's worth carrying on, he has picked up on this.
As to sticking around thats up to you, but you are holding the trump card, even if he doesnt know it.
You sound like a girl that has a lot of common sense, and high morrals. And if your right and everyone loves you like you say, he would be an idiot to let you go.
My advice would be to carry on as you are, if you really like this guy. And if in another couple of months you still feel the same, then it will be time to give up and move on.
But it will be his loss.
XX take care
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2007): The best person to ask this question is him. Only he knows what his feelings are. At least he's putting the time in and not pressing for sex.
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