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writes: This is a bit different to my last article. I’m not sure if you could even call it an article as such. Basically, I want to share a few tips and techniques that I have learned for how to get through difficult times in life. I’ve had plenty of those myself, and although I’ve been told of lots of ways of coping, I find that not much really helps. Apart from a few things, which I would like to share, in the hope that it might help other people who are struggling at the moment, or in the future.1)-Okay, the first thing is a technique to help with worrying. I am a massive worrier, and it is really difficult to stop, as I’m sure most people will know. Trying to force yourself not to worry doesn’t seem to work, does it? So, this is a way that you can kind of trick your brain into shutting up for a while.So there is something on your mind. Something that you are worrying about. It is worse if there is nothing you can actually do about the thing you are concerned about. So how it works is, you allocate yourself some “worry times”. For example, say it is 12pm. You could allocate a worry time for 3pm. That means when it is 3pm, you are allowed to worry as much as you want, for about 20 minutes or so. But until then, no worrying. If you find yourself starting to worry, you tell yourself, “No, I’m not going to worry about this now, I’m going to worry about it later, at 3pm”. This way, you are not telling yourself that you CAN’T worry. You are just putting it off until a later time. It might take some persistence, but it does get easier with practice.At 3pm, you are allowed to sit down and worry yourself silly, for 20 minutes. Really go for it. Then after the 20 minutes are up, you stop worrying until the next worry time. Which could be 6pm, for example. Getting the hang of this?The really amazing thing is, you might find that when it comes to your worry time, you find that you don’t want or need to worry anymore. It might not seem so important. Or you might just want to keep delaying it, putting it off into the future. Like I mentioned though, it isn’t simple to do at first, but it does get easier when you get the hang of it.2)-The second tip is a bit similar to the first one, but with some differences. I am an impulsive person. I get an idea in my head, and without really thinking it through, I do it. Later, or even sometimes immediately after, I think, “Oh no, what was I thinking?!” I suppose we all do that from time to time. But I tend to do it a lot. This second technique helps me, hopefully it might help you.It could be that you want to phone up your ex. You kind of know it wouldn’t be a good idea, but you are desperate to do it anyway. Or maybe you have seen something on the internet, and even though it is really expensive and you didn’t want it before, you really want to buy it, now. Or it could be more serious. Maybe you feel really low, and are thinking of hurting yourself somehow.The technique goes like this. You give yourself some time, preferably 24 hours. During that time, you promise yourself you will do nothing. If after the 24 hours you still want to do whatever it was, then you can do it. But give yourself time first. After all, what difference will 24 hours make anyway? You might find though, as I usually do, that the following day, you feel differently. You might be relieved that you didn’t do what you were going to do. You might realise that it would have been a mistake. If not though, and you still want to do it, okay then. Go ahead.I find this works because again, you are not telling yourself that you CAN’T do something. You are just asking yourself to wait until tomorrow. If you really can’t wait for 24 hours, then try for about 4 hours. I find that just leaving it for one or two hours isn’t long enough though, so try at least four hours. But a whole day is preferable.3)-The final thing is for when you feel really bad, like you can’t go on. Some people might disagree with this technique, and it won’t be for everyone. But it helps me when I feel at rock bottom. So here goes.Bring everything back to its most basic. Focus on SURVIVING. Don’t worry about feeling better right now. Don’t try and force yourself to be happy. Just survive. Imagine that there is a big dial inside you which controls your feelings. Turn it until it reaches zero. There. You have switched all of the painful feelings off. You can be numb for a while now.I know some people might say that this is not a good thing to do. But it can actually be a relief. You don’t have to be like a zombie or anything, or not care. But just give your feelings a break, and focus on doing what you have to do each day. You don’t have to make any special efforts. Just do what you can, until you feel better able to cope again.I understand this might not be practical for everyone, like if you work with people, or have family to take care of, etc. So it might not be for you. And I’m not sure if it really makes much sense. But somehow, I find it helps me, it gets me through. So that has got to be something.Well, that’s about it for now. I really hope something here will help someone. x
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reader, old-spinstah  +, writes (28 October 2009):
I've only just read this article and it's absolutely excellent. From someone who's been there and done that, this advice is spot-on. Especially point 3 - sometimes surviving is all we can do and we shouldn't feel bad about it.
XX
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2009): awe thanks.. cuter than the hampster? That was a big hit..
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou Sincerely Yours! No, not particularly different hair. Must be the pose. Or the lighting. Or the background of my kitchen. Lol.
Aww, your new picture is cute! Congratulations by the way (belated, I know)! xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2009): I like your new picture... haircut?
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2009): Wow.. look at you girl! gettin all the best out here reading your artical!
Very well done.
I'll be referring back here when i lose my happy place.
~SY.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone, I wasn't expecting such a good response! I'm really pleased that this has helped though. x
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2009): Another great article :). I'm a worrier myself so I think that second tip will definately help me when a problem arises!
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female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (14 June 2009):
 Excellent help and very well written and explained. Im going through a troublesome time at present and this has helped me.
Thankyou xxxxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou Star. x
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2009): Sam,
some very good ideas in there - very positive ideas and techniques, rather than sitting there crying - go fix.
like it.
Star.x.
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