A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: ive been speaking to this guy for a week and a half now.. he's 23 and im 18, we are both interested in each other but he has just came out of a 2 year relationship, 3 months ago, bringing with him alot of money problems. i asked him the other day are you still interested in seeing me a little more? and he replied to me "yeah of course im still not in the right state of mind for a relationship, so since not nothing will be happening betweeen me and you" what does he mean by he's not in the right state of mind? and how will i know when he is in the right state of mind?
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female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (17 March 2009):
 Hey there,
Well it seems to me that maybe he just wants time to get over his ex.It was quite a lengthy one at 2 years and maybe he still has some thoughts and feelings left over. For most people, it's hard to go from one serious relationship into another. For many it can take months or years to recover and move on, so when he says he isn't in the right state of mind, he means that he doesn't feel mentally clear to begin with someone else (you).
I wouldn't take it personally, maybe just tell him, you understand how he feels and if it's ok with him, you'd like to stay friends and just hang out. Don't put any pressure on him, because this will most likely chase him away. Your both men and men, it is know need time to deal with problems alone.
Give him space, be friendly and understanding and wait and see what happens. Having him as a friend is better than not having him in your life at all, and given time, things may develop between you.
Good luck sweetie xxx
Aunty Em
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