A
male
age
51-59,
*hrissyhill1970
writes:Hi. I have been seeing an old friend I used to know from high school... He is 38, I am 39. He has been to my place every other night for the last month or so...We have been intimate, and he has told me he loves me and I feel like I totally trust him and I love him too. I know he is not seeing anyone else...as he constantly emails me, calls me and texts me all through the days and nights we're not together...The problem is he has not invited me to his home because he claims he has too much clutter right now and he is emabarrased of it. He is a photographer on the side and has alot of props, and I guess maybe he could be a packrat and is ashamed of that. I have asked him if I could come help him organize and declutter, but he insists he needs 2 full days to do it and that I cant come over until he does..He says because we are always together, he would need to take off work just to handle the mess!!! I am hurt by this, and I have told him i dont think its very fair...and he shouldnt think that his messy house would change how I feel about him....I almost feel like telling him he is "uninvited" to my house this weekend and he should stay home and take care of it, so we can spend some time at his home...is this wrong of me? What should I do...I dont think for a moment he has a girlfriend there...we have several friends in common and I know that is not the case....
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female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (10 June 2009):
 Hopefully he will hunny...:-) the very best of luck to you xxxxx
A
male
reader, chrissyhill1970 +, writes (10 June 2009):
chrissyhill1970 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks..it makes sense...i guess it might be really bad! I just let him know I was willing to not see him for a few days to make it better...hopefully he will clean up his act, right? lol
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (10 June 2009):
:-) Tell him, if he doesn't let you in your going to storm the building with a tank!!!
...but seriously, maybe he's just really is embarrassed. Don't be hurt at all, just ask sweetly if he would like a few days of not seeing you so he can have a clean up. He will either agree and get his apron on, or he will continue to make excuses (because maybe he just likes living like pig!!)
If he's told you he loves you, then he must feel serious about you and want to make the effort...if not, then say adios to 'piggy boy' and find yourself someone who knows how to use a broom!!!
Good luck and keep us updated...
Aunty Em xxx
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