A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Crying my eyes out as i write this. Ive just found out my boyfriend of 3yrs has slept with 10 women behind my back! We dont live in the same town and i always new deep down something was wrong! Nights out with the lads getting drunk not knowing how he got home! But he would always have a way of making me believe that nothing was wrong! I look back now and there was girls number id find.i wasnt ever aloud to go out with him and his friends!He would always have an excuse that i believed. For the last 3yrs all ive done is crave attention that i never got.wanted him to do spend time with me but he would never commit to me. I did everything for him breakfast in bed. Cooked his tea. While he just mentally abused me! Called me fat.he could dress me better.my mum was a witch! As yet i lost loads of weight and was ill! I even had my boobs uplifted cos i was embrassed how they looked cos id had a baby and lost loads of weight! I thought things would be better between us cos i wouldnt be so shy bout my body.the nite b4 i went into hosiptal he went into hosiptal he wasnt staying at my house. And i went to ring him cos i was scared and he had fallen asleep! That shows how much he cared and thought about me! I was in early the next morning at 7 and i didnt even get to speak to him. When i just wanted him to show he cared for once. I have no self esteem left! Put myself down! I believed whatever he told me! And yet the whole time he was just out there being a womaniser! Im crushed dont know if i can take anymore! He must have been laughing at me all the time! The times when he said he loved me so much and i was the best thing to happen to him!how can someone do that! Hes begging me back now saying hes a fool and hes fucked up!i seem to believe this is all i deserve.
View related questions:
boobs, crush, drunk, self esteem, shy, womaniser Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, FEELITDOIT +, writes (28 April 2009):
You are a sweetheart. I totally agree with the first three excellent posts but want to give a male perspective. Your boyfriend is clearly mentally unwell. He may be a sex addict or have some elements of a personality disorder. At the very least he is a manipulative bully I say this to assure you that his behaviour is not your fault. Unless he takes full responsibilty (which by your description sounds highly unlikely to happen anytime soon) he will NOT change. He will promise you total fidelity, buy you gifts and perhaps even suggest getting engaged - but all of this will not last. As i suggested at the start you sound like a lovely person who has a lot of love, care and trust to give. These are priceless qualities that are much better shared with someone who loves you for who you are. Take care x
A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (27 April 2009):
 I am truly sorry to hear you are going through so much pain over this man. When things like this happen, it's like a massive wake up call. You felt something was going on and now it's confirmed, its opened the flood gates on all the supressed emotions you have over him. It's probably all tumbling around in your head, throwing you into a state of confusion.
First and foremost, this isn't your fault. He is the one in the wrong and you need to protect yourself from further pain.
It's extremely distressing and upsetting to be betrayed, especially over a long period of time, no wonder you have feelings of low self esteem, but you have to remember you feel this way because of what someone else has done, rather than it being about you. If you possibly can, refuse to see him or speak to him. Have a friend tell him you need time and space to make yourself feel better about things. Don't worry about how he's feeling, because it's obvious that in the past he hasn't worried about you.
Write down all the bad things he has done to get them out of your head and remind yourself what an idiot he is. I promise you, having space will allow you to just be yourself for a while and give you time to build yourself up.
It is possible to start again after the break up of a long term relationship and you can go on to bigger and better things. See this revelation of discovering he's a rat as an opportunity to finally break free of him once and for all and start living your life in a happier way.
How do I know this?...because the exact same thing happened to me...and after breaking away, I am happier than I ever could be.
Wipe your tears hunny!!! Your brand new life starts from this moment on!!!
Lots of love
Aunty Em xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2009): Noone deserves how he treated you especially since you are such a lenient trusting person, you did NOT deserve to be taken advantage of, it's just some SOCALLED men [and women] are very immature and don't know what they have until they lose it, don't go back to him, chin up cos you deserve better :)
...............................
|
