A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:so me and my boyfriend started out great he was so sweet and we got along great. we moved in together 2 months ago and it wasn't just down the road its 3 hours away from my friends and family.. so I haven't been able to find a job yet and I just sit at home all the time while he works.. I love him so much but I am not happy at all.. I'm happy when I'm with him.. but just soo sad all the time... I sleep alot.. don't do much and just isn't myself.. I'm also starting to get really insecure in our relationship... somethings wrong.. I don't know what to do help!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2009): My word, you gave up ALOT to be with your boyfriend. Most girls your age have ideas about what they want for their future and I'm betting college is nowhere on your radar, which is ok, and the job you previously had must not have been too important so you aren't exactly a career minded gal. What's left over is getting married and having kids, because if you had any hobbies at all you wouldnt be doing nothing all day. Did he give you a ring? You'd think he'd want to offer some form of commitment to your future for you to give up everything. I'd be depressed too! On the bright side, you guys save all that gas money now that he doesn't have to drive 3 hours to see you.
Now that your boyfriend is the center of your universe, instead of sleeping all day you could pack his lunches for work, do the cleaning and laundry and prepare dinner for when he gets home. Dress up nice and sexy for when he gets home and be in a good mood, he'll love it. I wouldn't complain about how miserable you are because he's happy and won't be able to relate and it may push him away emotionally. You don't want to do anything that pushes him away because he's all you got and if he comes home to an unhappy person, then he'll just go on the computer or turn on the tv and ignore you. You haven't even known him two months so keeping up good impressions is important.
A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (10 June 2009):
 It sounds to me that you are suffering from a bit of home sickness and are maybe getting a little bit blue over it.
You have moved away from home, away from your family and your life has changed...this is bound to unsettle you. Its probably making you feel insecure and you are clinging to what you know best...your boyfriend. He's out working and your sitting at home, not quite knowing your head from your tail end. Feeling tired all the time is a sign of distress, but lots of people suffer from this when something big changes in their life.
The good news is that you can either get some low grade anti depressants from a doctor to help you over the 'hump' or you can take the holistic approach and take back control by putting some structure into your day. Spend your time getting out and about in your new surroundings. Make up some resumes and spend at least an hour a day trying to find a job...even if its just part time in a coffee shop...it will help you meet new people and make new friends. Take regular exercise or force yourself to learn something new...visit the library, cook nice food for your boyfriend when he gets home. It will show him that you apreciate him working so hard...You need to have something to do on a regular basis. If you can't find paid work then try some voluntary work...it can lead to employment opportunities.
Call home frequently, get a web cam so you can see the folks back home...or just write frequently to keep in touch. Visit home whenever possible.
Your just in a little homesick depression, but once you start living your new life in a new place, you will start to feel better.
Good luck hunny and a big hug for you xxxx
Aunty Em xxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2009): Create an account and get busy on this website.
I know there are several of us here becuase we don't have much to during the day. Especially us preggo ones because we can't have jobs.
It's a great use of your mind and it'll give you a feeling of worth!!
Check in with us if you create an account.
~SY.
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