A
male
age
36-40,
*ericho107
writes:Well I am new at this, but don't know where to turn. I need some advice and hopefully someone can help me. It starts off with one of my good friends, we have know each other for about two years and work together. She is married and is currently experiencing some problems. I have known about this stuff for a little while and have been there for her when she needs it. Well the other day we were talking and she told me that besides thinking her husband is cheating on her (he hasn't touched her in 3 month and also decided videogames were much more important than spending time with her before a three day trip) she was thinking about separating. Well she has told me in the past she has regretted getting married and didn't know if it was the right choice. Well the other day she also told me for the longest time she has had strong feeling for me and she had wondered now for quite sometime what things would be like with me. I just don't know what to do. I have strong feelings for her also, but don't want to be the one to finally break down the marriage. I mean I get so mad at him but have never said anything, because of the way he treats her. Well I just need to know, I am wrong for wondering too what things would be like with her? Am I wrong for having strong feelings for her also? I mean I just don't know and don't know where to go. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (5 March 2009):
 Dear jericho,
No hunny, your not wrong for having these feelings. This woman is obviously a close and dear friend to you and you have seen her go through many struggles with her marriage. It is natural, if you think so much of her, that you do not want to see her suffer and you have probably thought about how happy the two of you could be together.
However... she is still married.
Maybe you could talk to her and let her know that you will always be a friend to her and help her in anyway that you can. If she wants to start another relationship, it is better if she ends her marriage first as I am sure you do not wanted to be cited in the divorce. Stay close to her and support her, but let her know that nothing can happen between you as things stand.
If she is that unhappy, she will leave her husband regardless of you...and when she does, that will be the time for you to make your move. Be sure of your intentions towards her before you make any promises as women, especially ones going through divorce or seperation, can be very sensitive. Its her call, she is the one who needs to decide what happens next. So do what your doing now...be a friend.
Best of luck
Aunty Em xxxx
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