A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I met a guy online and he just asked me out. We went to the same college years ago so I know he’s not some strange old man :) We’ve been emailing for just over 2 weeks and I've seen load of pictures of him.He’s very attentive to what I say and remembers things I like. Once I mentioned that I collect small black rocks (don’t ask) and the other day he says he found a really nice one for me and will bring it along. He’s also putting in a lot of effort to plan the date (I mentioned once that I like the city view at night and he suggested we go to this restaurant where you can see the city at night).Does his attentiveness and effort mean anything in terms of his interest in me? And judging only from this, can you tell whether he seems to be after a relationship or just some casual fun? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks AuntyEm and Griffo! I appreciate the advice and will take it on board for the date. I don't sleep with anyone on the first date (probably not even on the next few - takes me a while to get to know someone, maybe even a few months!) so thanks for the advice.
A
male
reader, Griffo +, writes (2 March 2009):
 I agree partly with the below poster but I can tell you a man would only go out with you for three reasons one, yes, for sex or two for a relationship or not rarly but very often both! - guys will certianly keep a girl if she's great in the bedroom too!.
For you I can tell this guy has it totally for you, he must really like you if he does things like finding little black rocks for you and being very attentive.
Just be simple and have fun but remember if you really like him don't go to bed with him on the first date wait two or three dates or when ever you feel comfortable first then see what happens.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (2 March 2009):
 It sounds like he is making a special effort to make a nice date for you both. If you know him from before, then meet him for the date. Be open and friendly and just have fun. Its hard to say what his future intentions are as probably neither of you will know how you feel until you meet, but try not to over analyse the event. He is obviously interested on some level and until you know him better and spend more time with him, your not going to know what his real motives are.
Men rarely enter into any kind of union with long term plans on their mind.That said, it doesnt mean nothing will come of your dating him. Its just too soon to tell.
Unless your just looking for a bit of casual fun yourself, I wouldn't get involved with having sex with him too soon. If he does seem pushy about sex and hints that he cant feel serious about you until hes had sex with you...to be honest, sex is probably all he is after. If he plays it cool and wants to take things slowly, its a good lead for you to follow.
Keep things light and fun for a couple of months.If your really meant to be together, he will stick around and his attentiveness will continue...and besides...you might not like him when you see him so give yourself some credit for having the ability to be selective. Being too over anxious and forming opinions before you meet someone makes a person seem too needy and thats a real big turn off for anyone.
Play it cool, have a fun time together, don't fall into sex too quickly and see where things go.
Good Luck
(I also urge you to read the stories on here about girls who have had sex on a first or second date or within the first feww weeks of meeting someone new and they have been dumped soon after)
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