Like what
she writes?
... Add *untyEm to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *untyEm a private message | | | *untyEm's profile:Hello, there. I am a 49 year old mother of two girls.
What qualifies me to give advice?...well I guess because I have had a pretty hard time and have learned a lot in my lifetime.
Divorce, teenage kids, money worries, relationship worries...all manner of things I have coped with and I am still here to tell the tale.
My answers will be pretty hard hitting. This is because I will tell you what you NEED to hear and not what you WANT to hear. This isn't always popular but I would rather get to the heart of the matter and tell it like I see it rather than give someone false hope or a misleading answer that could make them even more confused.
God Bless all who take time to give precious advice here, it has restored my faith in human kindness :-) xxxxx |
|
| Latest articles: Happy Christmas: My thoughts on DC
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 December 2009: To everyone on DEAR CUPID, Having been an 'Aunt' on DC for a couple of years I have to say that I absolutely love and adore this site. It confirms to me that in a jaded cynical and unscrupulous world there are still people who care enough abou...
A Survival Guide for the serial Dumpee!!
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
17 July 2007: Are you continually getting dumped?, Do you never get passed the first date? 1) Never assume love. The more you think you like a guy, the more you must let him chase you.Don't lose your head and think you love him, before things have evn gott...
|
I thought everything was fine, why hasn't she gotten back to me?
Q. Hello so me and my girlfriend have been together for a month and it's been great and we have a lot in common. She's been really cool but we had an argument a couple days ago but made up that night. I went over to her place and stayed the night and ...
A. 18 May 2012: I think you are over thinking this...just do what feels natural. You are trying to second guess her. You know she's got a lot on so don't panic if she don't contact you for a few days.
The weekend is here...ask her if she wants to hang out on S... (read in full...)
I thought everything was fine, why hasn't she gotten back to me?
Q. Hello so me and my girlfriend have been together for a month and it's been great and we have a lot in common. She's been really cool but we had an argument a couple days ago but made up that night. I went over to her place and stayed the night and ...
A. 17 May 2012: Don't worry if she don't text back...you are a guy, you can do a little chasing. Just text her every day, asking how she is and tell her shes in your thoughts...that should be enough.... (read in full...)
He's going on the cruise we planned to go on together without me! Am I wrong to be upset with him?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year. A few months into our relationship his sister invited him on a cruise because his nephew couldn't go at the last minute. At the same time he got laid off from his job so the getaway was good for ...
A. 17 May 2012: Yup...men are selfish and will crawl over your face to get what they want!!
He seems to be really good at freeloading vacations and he don't mind putting your nose out of joint.
He's gonna go, so not much you can do about it, but maybe while ... (read in full...)
Is this a sign he doesn't want to be seen with me?
Q. ...Still close with my Ex, do everything together...but he didn't invite me to his Birthday Party...? My ex split up with me a year and a half ago, his mum died and he felt like he could not handle a relationship no more. I respected his wi...
A. 17 May 2012: Hmmm it is odd...well kinda!!
I feel for you, it must have left you feeling terrible and there must be another reason why he doesn't want you to be there.
It could be he doesn't want to answer any questions, it could also be that someone he ... (read in full...)
Love or Marriage? Which should I choose?
Q. I need advice: should I stay with my current boyfriend who I am totally in love with but he's six years younger and from a different world -- or find someone i can tolerate that is more serious, settled and ready for marriage? I'm going to b...
A. 17 May 2012: ''So I'm in limbo. I either accept this half relationship where it doesn't even feel like we are together or I call him up and end it once and for all''
You got that absolutely right...those are your choices for sure.
Why has he left you in l... (read in full...)
I thought everything was fine, why hasn't she gotten back to me?
Q. Hello so me and my girlfriend have been together for a month and it's been great and we have a lot in common. She's been really cool but we had an argument a couple days ago but made up that night. I went over to her place and stayed the night and ...
A. 17 May 2012: Sure...go hang out if that's what she wants.
If she is having a tough time you could be a stand up guy and let her know you are there for her and offer to help her with anything she needs...that shows you care about her and will stand by her when... (read in full...)
I don't have a penis, am I ever going to be enough for him?
Q. When my boyfriend looks at porn, it's of transvestites. i've also found emails where he's talked to transvestites. When i ask about it he gets really upset and denies everything. i'm very hurt that he won't be open with me. He's admitted to ...
A. 17 May 2012: I agree...you need to walk from this one. Being transvestite doesn't mean he is necesarilly gay, but it does mean that there are some things that sexually, you cannot fulfil.
He is on his own path and is determined to get what he wants...... (read in full...)
I thought everything was fine, why hasn't she gotten back to me?
Q. Hello so me and my girlfriend have been together for a month and it's been great and we have a lot in common. She's been really cool but we had an argument a couple days ago but made up that night. I went over to her place and stayed the night and ...
A. 17 May 2012: Show her more attention when you are with her I guess...
The phone thing is annoying. I actually stopped seeing a friend because whenever she came to see me she was constantly texting on her phone, so much so that she was completely distract... (read in full...)
Have I made the right decision to leave my cheating husband?
Q. I have been married for 6 yrs and for the rest of the six yrs my husband has never be faithful. He had atleast 7 affairs just in one yr - dont ask me how he does it but yrs to an extend he was dating 4 other women at a go. He has never just once sho...
A. 16 May 2012: You are not enjoying your marrieage...you are SUFFERING it!!!
He is treating you absolutely appaulingly and there is no law on God's earth which says you have to tolerate it.
He will always be daddy to your children and that is for him to initi... (read in full...)
Fiance has posted pics of himself with his ex and children on Facebook, is this wrong?
Q. My Fiancé and I have been together for nearly 2 years, and were recently engaged. We have both been in previous marriages and have children from those relationships. Because my ex and I have had great animosity towards each other and my feelings ...
A. 15 May 2012: You need to speak to your partner and tell him what you have said here. He is the only one who can give you the answers you need.... (read in full...)
I have a great Girlfriend but still love my ex-wife
Q. I was married to the woman of my dreams and soul-mate for 8 years. We went through a long rough patch and she left. The rough part was a combination of; her daughter left for college, her mother died, we lost most of our savings and assets due to ...
A. 15 May 2012: Let your girlfriend go...you are with her out of guilt and are not in love with her. She deserves to be able to go find someone who really loves her...you are holding her prisoner so you don't have to be lonely...
Let her go.... (read in full...)
Me and my ex hung out and it was awesome, only he hasn't made contact since!
Q. Ok so after being broken up for about four months my ex contacted me and said he missed me and wanted to hang out we did and it was awesome, but he hasn't called my question is should i make contact or wait it out?...
A. 15 May 2012: I would ignore him.
He probably contacted you because he was going through a quiet patch or because he needed an ego boost or a trip down memory lane.
He is an ex for a reason and the fact he hasn't contacted you since your brief 'get toget... (read in full...)
My married love won't leave her husband but doesn't want to let go of me either
Q. I am involved with a woman that is married and she says she is still madly in love with her husband but yet she says she has fallen in love with me. The chemistry between us started sometime around October 2011 in which she started saying things to ...
A. 14 May 2012: It appears she is 'in it' for the attention rather than love and wanting to be with you.
Several things you have written indicate this...
'She tells me how much she wants me and all the things she likes about sex'
'She says constantly ... (read in full...)
I get excited by dumping women and crushing them emotionally... what can I do to fix it?
Q. I'm married and I have a baby. I'm also very happy in my marriage and my wife is good looking etc. Yes, I've gone to prostitutes for a few years now, but only to get a physical release to substitute porn. Though, in recent years I've for some ...
A. 14 May 2012: Three aunts have said you need therapy...I'm going to be the fourth...
This isn't just cheating to get off, this is pre meditated destruction of other human beings for revenge!!
You need serious long term therapy, you have a serious sociopat... (read in full...)
Fiance has posted pics of himself with his ex and children on Facebook, is this wrong?
Q. My Fiancé and I have been together for nearly 2 years, and were recently engaged. We have both been in previous marriages and have children from those relationships. Because my ex and I have had great animosity towards each other and my feelings ...
A. 14 May 2012: There are pictures of me and my ex on fb after we divorced...we were at our daughters university graduation, so us appearing in a picture was more about pleasing our daughter...my ex and I would never rekindle because the marriage is over.
In my... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has a SIGNIFICANTLY lower sex-drive than me
Q. I've been dating this woman for 3 years, and I love everything about her very much. All except one thing, she has an extremely low sex-drive. Where I would be content with 1-2 times a week at LEAST, we're currently having sex every 6-7 weeks, and ...
A. 12 May 2012: Something don't sound right about this!!
How is she with you in other ways?
Do you argue a lot?
Does she tell you she's happy and does she treat you with respect in all other aspects?
She doesn't have a low sex drive...she just has a l... (read in full...)
Should I contact this guy and say I'm interested in just casual sex?
Q. So there's this guy that I dated (we went out for a total of about 7 times). He stopped contacting me about a month and a half ago for some reason which I don't know why. I was really really attracted to him and since my last relationship of about ...
A. 12 May 2012: Offering casual sex when you really like someone but they don't like you in the same way...well it's gonna get ugly!!!
Is this what you REALLY want or do you think it will just give you an opportunity to win him over??...it won't work like tha... (read in full...)
How do I give up on wanting a man in my life?
Q. Here goes. I have been single for over 13 years and have two teen children. I ended up dating about four years ago. I was in a relationship that lasted six months, but broke up because of communication and sexual issues. I am still friends with ...
A. 12 May 2012: I think the post you put here on DC should be the profile on a dating website...it's gritty, honest, stripped bare and cuts no crap.
A lot of men are insecure and think they arn't good enough (especially if you yourself look great) they may thin... (read in full...)
Boyfriend says he loves me yet is always insisting that he has to put up with "so many of my problems".
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for over two years. We don't live together, but he spends the night some, and he does little to help me around the house because it is not "his place". He is 35, I am 41. I have been married before, and have two ...
A. 12 May 2012: It's not easy to believe in love when it seems so elusive for many years, it's so easy to lose hope or get involved with people who arn't suitable for the sake of not being alone.
If there is one thing I have learned in my life it is that life can... (read in full...)
We had a great time, he said he wanted to see more of me but its been a week and I haven't heard from him yet. Does this mean he's emotionally unavailable?
Q. I am divorced and been lonely for a long time. I am 50 and take great care of myself, therefore guys flirt with me a lot. I went online and have met nice guys, but no spark. I met a guy three weeks ago , he is 44 . We have gone out twice. We had a ...
A. 11 May 2012: Well there you go...he's spending time with his kids. I'd still give it time. You have made contact and he has responded albeit not the response you want. Wait another week and if he still doesn't call you, it might be one to chalk up to ... (read in full...)
We had a great time, he said he wanted to see more of me but its been a week and I haven't heard from him yet. Does this mean he's emotionally unavailable?
Q. I am divorced and been lonely for a long time. I am 50 and take great care of myself, therefore guys flirt with me a lot. I went online and have met nice guys, but no spark. I met a guy three weeks ago , he is 44 . We have gone out twice. We had a ...
A. 11 May 2012: Give it another week...because there isn't really anything else you can do.
It is annoying when someone doesn't call and if he doesn't get back to you, it doesn't necessarilly mean he doesn't like you...it could be he has other issues to deal wit... (read in full...)
When married and inlaws live with us should I be paying half of the rent?
Q. Should I be paying 50% of the rent if my husbands daughter and son and his brother witch are all grown except the baby living here? I recently told him he is to pay the entire rent himself and not look for nothing from me since they do not ...
A. 11 May 2012: 5 adults = 5 way split of the rent...that's 100% fair.
Speak to him...of course if he wants to put up their portion on the rent that's up to him.
You should only be paying a fifth...That's what Judge Judy would say :-)... (read in full...)
I'm seeing my boyfriend tomorrow for a make or break talk, what can I do or say to him to try and make this work?
Q. Ive been seeing an amazing guy for 10 months, hes everything ive ever wanted and more but theres one problem; distance. He lives 150 miles away and couldnt move because of his work and the fact he is carer for his disabled brother. I currently see ...
A. 10 May 2012: I think there is only one thing you can do to save things and that is to move if he means the world to you.
Jobs come and go, and your family will always be your family, but if this is the man of your dreams and he feels the same way about yo... (read in full...)
Do I tell a mate that I know he slept with a girl I was seeing
Q. Question.... I met a girl about 5 months ago. She was in a loveless marriage, had random affairs etc. We used to tell each other what we were upto etc... It was very sexual. Anyway we ended up catching up for little sessions so to speak. Anyway ...
A. 10 May 2012: If you have feelings and want to be with her then it's time to draw a line in the sand, forget the past and give eachother a new slate...who knows, it might take flight. I do believe where there is love on both sides, anything can be overcome.
... (read in full...)
Is he just missing what he had, or does he really think we can try again?
Q. Does he just think we can.get back.together forget the past and play happy family's? My.ex and I broke up 6 mths ago. It was I who ended.it as he hadn't treated me very well during our 8 yr relationship. To cut a long story.short, we had 2 kids. He ...
A. 9 May 2012: Why didn't he buy a new house for you and the kids??
Commitment phobes never change. Unless he's shown proof that he's serious I would just ignore him.... (read in full...)
I know I am the only woman he is seeing but I cant stand his online flirting! What should I do?
Q. What do I do been with this guy for 16 months friends with benefits, I have feelings for him but not in love with him, I cannot get him to show affection, he wants a relationship wants me to act as a normal friend should and wants no committal, he ...
A. 9 May 2012: Oh Lord!!!
Seriously you need to take off those rose coloured spectacles, open your eyes wide and see what is exactly before you. Hoping this guy will turn into a loving caring partner is like hoping a pig will turn into a sheep...ain't gonna ha... (read in full...)
Do I tell a mate that I know he slept with a girl I was seeing
Q. Question.... I met a girl about 5 months ago. She was in a loveless marriage, had random affairs etc. We used to tell each other what we were upto etc... It was very sexual. Anyway we ended up catching up for little sessions so to speak. Anyway ...
A. 9 May 2012: Hmmm...
There are two statuses where relationships are concerned.
Together or NOT together.
When she had sex with your mate, you were NOT together...you were just casual fuck buddies.
When you decided to be Together with her...all that ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend says he loves me yet is always insisting that he has to put up with "so many of my problems".
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for over two years. We don't live together, but he spends the night some, and he does little to help me around the house because it is not "his place". He is 35, I am 41. I have been married before, and have two ...
A. 9 May 2012: Good faithful loyal man...yep yep!!
Giving you what you want and need?...or using you for a convienient comfy life where he has to make very little effort and not show you any love and affection?...
Personally I wouldn't stay in a relationshi... (read in full...)
Fiance won't leave his ailing mother to move in with me
Q. i have been with my fiance for 4 years. i am 41 and he is 49. he is my true soulmate and we have been very happy together.unfortunately he lost his dad 2 years ago and his mum became unwell so my fiance decided to move back home and look after his ...
A. 9 May 2012: I agree with Notdoneyet...
He is only 5 minutes away, if you love him you can still have a life with him, but he will always put his mum first.
I am having this myself, as my partner is having to support his mum following his dads death.
Y... (read in full...)
He loves me but doesn't want to spend time with me?
Q. I am a 37 yo female who has been dating a recent divorcee. He is the most wonderful man I have met. He is a Great dad to his kids that he has 5-6 days out of the week because they have a sorry mother. She cheated on him a year ago, and ask for a ...
A. 8 May 2012: OMG!!! really??? Way too much drama going on in his life, he is seriously using you as a crutch but not giving anything back.
If you hear any of the following statements...
'I'm confused'
'I don't know what I want'
'I love you but I am not IN... (read in full...)
Help with an awkward situation?
Q. Recently I met someone and got to know each other working together, she's married and she said "Im always home monday through friday". I worked her at an event and she was very touchy feely, touched my arm, back and hands throughout the day. I...
A. 8 May 2012: Avoid, avoid, avoid. Also confide in another work colleague so you have back up. This woman is giving you unwanted advances and potentially could turn this into a nightmare for you if you reject her.
Speak to your boss and state your position... (read in full...)
He loves me but doesn't want to spend time with me?
Q. I am a 37 yo female who has been dating a recent divorcee. He is the most wonderful man I have met. He is a Great dad to his kids that he has 5-6 days out of the week because they have a sorry mother. She cheated on him a year ago, and ask for a ...
A. 8 May 2012: I have absolute sympathy for you over this...it's a really akward situation.
This guy may be great, may have some feelings for you, but truth is, he is neither ready or in a position to have a relationship at this time.
Sure it may work if you ... (read in full...)
I don't trust my boyfreind. Am I being overly suspicious?
Q. dear all. Please help. I don.t trust my boyfreind,as he is not open,and is secretive. Pls read the following of what.s just happened this weekend,and tell me if i.m being overly suspicious. My boyfreinds freind who lives out of town called him last ...
A. 8 May 2012: I don't blame you for ending it. sometimes we lose track of how toxic and poor a relationship is because we are focussing so hard on not being alone, not being single.
People who have low self worth or low self esteem will stay longer in bad rela... (read in full...)
No sex drive since the baby arrived -- should I tell him to get his needs met elsewhere?
Q. Ok so I had a little baby girl about 9 months ago. And since then Ive had about zero sex drive. I get horny occasionally but im just not in the mood. This has put a serious strain on my relationship with my fiance. I know he has liked our mutual ...
A. 7 May 2012: Speak to your doctor about tiredness and post natal depression.
It's very normal to reduce sex to a low priority when you have a young baby...it will return eventually and your fiance needs to understand that it will.
Don't be giving him away ... (read in full...)
Should I give him an ultimatum or wait for his divorce?
Q. I am in my mid 50's. My partner and I have been dating for over two years. He lives an hour from me and has joint custody of his 17 yr old daughter. We both have our own businesses so are happy not to live together at this stage. His wife is an ...
A. 7 May 2012: You can give him all the ultimatums in the world but he isn't going to get a divorce until he wants to. He could have other reasons for NOT wanting divorce, reasons he isn't telling you.
It could be that he doesn't want to upset his daughter... (read in full...)
I don't trust my boyfreind. Am I being overly suspicious?
Q. dear all. Please help. I don.t trust my boyfreind,as he is not open,and is secretive. Pls read the following of what.s just happened this weekend,and tell me if i.m being overly suspicious. My boyfreinds freind who lives out of town called him last ...
A. 7 May 2012: Are you being paranoid???...Yup!!!
You did know he was going clubbing...or at least you had an idea because you overheard the conversation he had with his mate the week before.
Did he take a female friend back to his? Just cos he cleaned his r... (read in full...)
I thought everything was fine, why hasn't she gotten back to me?
Q. Hello so me and my girlfriend have been together for a month and it's been great and we have a lot in common. She's been really cool but we had an argument a couple days ago but made up that night. I went over to her place and stayed the night and ...
A. 7 May 2012: Tell her you won't play games. Either she wants to be with you or she doesn't.
She's blowing a smoke screen and obviously isn't happy with some of your behaviour. Ask her straight, what the problem is and tell her you need to know or else you cann... (read in full...)
I have constant chatter in my head.
Q. I have constant chatter in my head. I wanted to write down my deepest concerns here. And then there is the tiny weak sound of hope. Who tries to tell me my gut feelings are wrong. Maybe someone here has a comment to make, or an advice to give. ...
A. 5 May 2012:
Ain't love a wonderful thing...erm...nope...well maybe if it goes well for a while, if people get on. Throw some bad behaviour, low self esteeem and doubt into the mix and you have a living hell!!!
I don't think there are many of us who haven't ... (read in full...)
I thought everything was fine, why hasn't she gotten back to me?
Q. Hello so me and my girlfriend have been together for a month and it's been great and we have a lot in common. She's been really cool but we had an argument a couple days ago but made up that night. I went over to her place and stayed the night and ...
A. 5 May 2012: She is avoiding you...she answered the call (from the blocked number) heard your voice, hung up and turned off her phone...could that be any clearer.
I know everything seemed fine last time you saw her but evidently all is not fine and she does... (read in full...)
Why am I attached to him?
Q. Why...Why?? I cant let this one go...my current boyfriend is an alcoholic,does not keep promises(says he will stop by but doesnt,says he will call but doesnt!),spends more time with his friends than me, dissapears on me from time to time when he ...
A. 5 May 2012: You have become co dependant on him, maybe because your self esteem is a little shot!!
He isn't going to have the potential to be a 'perfect' partner until he quits the booze...nobody can...because alcohol dependant people are very selfish.... (read in full...)
I thought everything was fine, why hasn't she gotten back to me?
Q. Hello so me and my girlfriend have been together for a month and it's been great and we have a lot in common. She's been really cool but we had an argument a couple days ago but made up that night. I went over to her place and stayed the night and ...
A. 5 May 2012: Maybe she has decided to let you go. People are a bit gutless and seldom say goodbuy.
Have you tried calling her? You either need news...or closure...she owes you that but maybe she's been busy.... (read in full...)
Why are girls wearing clothes you can see their butts in?
Q. It is starting to get warm out now and why do a lot of the girls wear their shorts so short? I have seen sport shorts and cutoffs and they all seem to be extemely short, to the point that their cheeks are hanging out. I have also seen dresses that ...
A. 5 May 2012: If it's on TV or in the movies, then people will follow it. Short skirts have been in and out of fashion since people first wore clothes...I guess people just like to follow fashion...whats the alternative?
There isn't one.... (read in full...)
I've been a fool and don't know how to right my wrongs
Q. I am a widow ,but I date and have friends,so I don't really feel lonely.A yr. ago i met a man online and we began a good friendship.He was still somewhat involved with his high school sweetheart.We talked about the relationship or should i say I did ...
A. 5 May 2012: What kind of age gap are we talking here?
Yep it was a bit foolish but the internet often doesn't feel real and people get carried away.
You are going to have to fess up eventually and depending on his reaction, maybe just chalk this one u... (read in full...)
Love or Marriage? Which should I choose?
Q. I need advice: should I stay with my current boyfriend who I am totally in love with but he's six years younger and from a different world -- or find someone i can tolerate that is more serious, settled and ready for marriage? I'm going to b...
A. 30 April 2012: Hmmmm... now let me get this clear...
You love him but you know he will never marry you and eventually leave you?? Isn't that like saying
'I love standing on the free way...I know eventually I am going to get hit by a truck but I love it so muc... (read in full...)
| *untyEm's friends
These are mutual friends, so *untyEm has
added them and they have added *untyEm!
|
![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
