A
female
age
,
*oders877
writes:What do I do been with this guy for 16 months friends with benefits, I have feelings for him but not in love with him, I cannot get him to show affection, he wants a relationship wants me to act as a normal friend should and wants no committal, he is site tagg and flirts by sending sexual suggestive taggs I said something to him and he says he is single, gonna stay single and has flirted all his life and not gonna stop now, I trust him, I know I am only one he is seeing but it angers me inside to think he does this with females on this site and he never ever did this to me when I was on the site. When I talked to him about this he says he can take our friendship or leave it but then he comes along and makes complete turn around. I love this friend, I enjoy him, his company but what to do
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 May 2012):
 What do you do?
Well you have feelings for him but he’s not meeting your needs because while you say you don’t love him you would like him to be affectionate with you and he is not. He wants to sleep with you but not commit to you. What do YOU want??
He is single
He is not interested in a commitment with you..what will you do when he meets someone else and dumps you and commits to her? I know… you’ll be posting on here about how upset you are that he moved on so quickly.. but he is not moving on from you because as painful as this is, you mean nothing to him.
He is merely using you as a handy penis holder…
if you want love and affection he's not the man to provide it.
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (9 May 2012):
 Friends with benefits almost never turns into anything other than headache at the least and heartbreak at the most. You want more, fidelity, affection. To be blunt about this, he wants a warm person to masturbate into. He will never do a real "turn around" as you say. He is simply doing what he thinks you want to hear to keep you around for his convenience.
You are holding onto a fantasy here, not facing reality. Heartbreaking as it is, this will never become the kind of relationship you want. You deserve better than this situation. As in, a real relationship with a man who returns your affections rather than a guy who will occasionally throw you tiny scraps of it.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (9 May 2012):
 Oh Lord!!!
Seriously you need to take off those rose coloured spectacles, open your eyes wide and see what is exactly before you. Hoping this guy will turn into a loving caring partner is like hoping a pig will turn into a sheep...ain't gonna happen...you are literally floggin' a dead horse!!
Almost every Aunt on DC will give you their opinion of 'friends with benefits'...in short for the woman, ain't no friend, ain't no benefit. It's just a short term short sighted fix to cure loneliness and boredom and give the guy free non-commital sex (he wins...you don't)
Don't think I have ever read a question on here or anywhere else where the guy 'friend with benefit' has fallen madly in love with the girl 'friend with benefit. He's had what he wants...sadly your a convienience (like a toilet...sorry). He will just keep using you and walking away( and like a lot of guys, he won't clean up the mess he leaves behind)
Women attach to these guys because they don't value themselves. They think anyone is better than no-one and that just because they might feel love, then surely the guy is gonna feel the same...ermmmm...nope...don't happen.
Women almost always form attachments after having sex...it's a natural hormonal reaction and it's dang hard to let go, even if the guys on the run.
Get back to basics and start loving yourself. get rid of him and give yourself a chance to meet someone who will show you love and want you.
Life is very very short and seriously you don't need to take crap like that from someone like him!!!
Break free, love you and get serious about finding someone decent.
Hugs and girl power to you
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2012): you obviously love him and want more than he does or you wouldn't be jealous.
why don't you give yourself a chance of the happiness you deserve with someone who will love and respect you. he doesn't care about you feelings. i had a friend with benefits exactly the same for 2 years - told him i loved him etc and he said it could never be (in my case due to age difference as he's 20 years older), now he knows I've got another older man he wants me but like your guy he is a flirt and will never stop. I'm glad I'm not with him because i've now got someone who won't even look at another girl because he feels 'the luckiest man in the world'.
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