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... Send *untyEm a private message | | | *untyEm's profile:Hello, there. I am a 49 year old mother of two girls.
What qualifies me to give advice?...well I guess because I have had a pretty hard time and have learned a lot in my lifetime.
Divorce, teenage kids, money worries, relationship worries...all manner of things I have coped with and I am still here to tell the tale.
My answers will be pretty hard hitting. This is because I will tell you what you NEED to hear and not what you WANT to hear. This isn't always popular but I would rather get to the heart of the matter and tell it like I see it rather than give someone false hope or a misleading answer that could make them even more confused.
God Bless all who take time to give precious advice here, it has restored my faith in human kindness :-) xxxxx |
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This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 December 2009: To everyone on DEAR CUPID, Having been an 'Aunt' on DC for a couple of years I have to say that I absolutely love and adore this site. It confirms to me that in a jaded cynical and unscrupulous world there are still people who care enough abou...
A Survival Guide for the serial Dumpee!!
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
17 July 2007: Are you continually getting dumped?, Do you never get passed the first date? 1) Never assume love. The more you think you like a guy, the more you must let him chase you.Don't lose your head and think you love him, before things have evn gott...
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Love or Marriage? Which should I choose?
Q. I need advice: should I stay with my current boyfriend who I am totally in love with but he's six years younger and from a different world -- or find someone i can tolerate that is more serious, settled and ready for marriage? I'm going to b...
A. 17 May 2012: ''So I'm in limbo. I either accept this half relationship where it doesn't even feel like we are together or I call him up and end it once and for all''
You got that absolutely right...those are your choices for sure.
Why has he left you in l... (read in full...)
I've been a fool and don't know how to right my wrongs
Q. I am a widow ,but I date and have friends,so I don't really feel lonely.A yr. ago i met a man online and we began a good friendship.He was still somewhat involved with his high school sweetheart.We talked about the relationship or should i say I did ...
A. 5 May 2012: What kind of age gap are we talking here?
Yep it was a bit foolish but the internet often doesn't feel real and people get carried away.
You are going to have to fess up eventually and depending on his reaction, maybe just chalk this one u... (read in full...)
Is he playing ping-pong on Facebook with me? Shall I unfriend him again for ignoring me?
Q. long story, I added him on FB, he accpeted, then I unfriended him because I felt I needed to move on and my online "crush" wasn't going any where, so he sent me a text asking me, 'why I unfriended' him and asking me to stay in touch. I didn't for a ...
A. 4 May 2012: Well if you think it's worth a shot then ask him out on a real date. If he still ignores you then I'd forget him.
If you bug him and keep on, he might think you are a bit desperate.
Hope you sort it out x... (read in full...)
Is he playing ping-pong on Facebook with me? Shall I unfriend him again for ignoring me?
Q. long story, I added him on FB, he accpeted, then I unfriended him because I felt I needed to move on and my online "crush" wasn't going any where, so he sent me a text asking me, 'why I unfriended' him and asking me to stay in touch. I didn't for a ...
A. 4 May 2012: Sounds like he just wants you in the net.
Apparently it's a stupid 'guy thing' that some men like to have lots and lots of women on their profile (even if they have no intention of ever speaking to you again)to make them look popular and wanted..... (read in full...)
I cannot comprehend how my ex husband could start dating so soon after our divorce
Q. My ex and I divorced but still lived together. We loved each other but i divorced him because of finance differences. I left him and after a few weeks broke all contact because he is bi polar and has sociopathic tendencies. During that time onc...
A. 4 May 2012: When you divorce someone you have no right to interfere if they choose to date other people.
Divorce means you are both now single and can move on.
Sounds like you divorced him as a kind of punishment!! hoping that it would make him change ... (read in full...)
My friends with benefits is jealous, what should I do?
Q. Hi I could really do with some good honest answers regarding this I have been sleeping with a man for a few months now we are not together as a couple I told him I would like us to be but he said he didn't want a relationship I went out at the ...
A. 2 May 2012: Adding a different spin on it...maybe deep down you tell him about the other guys because secretly you are hoping his jealousy and fear of losing you will drive him towards asking you for a love relationship?
If that is true...it probably won't wo... (read in full...)
What is her problem? She ended it and I've stopped replying to her texts!
Q. I am 44 and 17 years older than my gf and was with her for 5 years, until this January when she ended it. She said it wasn’t working out and that she wanted to be on her own. It wasn’t working out because for that entire 5 years she wouldn’t tell ...
A. 2 May 2012: I agree, you need to maintain the non contact until she gives up.
She is probably missing the attention that a relationship brings but doesn't want to actually be with you. It's a selfish act, but past loves do feel 'entitled' to remain special ... (read in full...)
He respects me when I hold my ground, but when my feelings are hurt, he's heartless
Q. My boyfriend is really heartless about my feelings. When we have a argument he leaves and ignores all contact from me. Its sad to say but for some reason when I hold my ground and act like a b***h he seems to want me more. However at times when my ...
A. 2 May 2012: Some men do actually prefer to be with a bitchy woman because it's just more of a challenge and often it can justify to them, their own bad behaviour (two wrongs making a right so to speak). If you act all hurt and try to show your true feelings, ... (read in full...)
To date or not to date? To love or not to love?
Q. I haven't fallen in love yet. I'm only sixteen, still a baby, but that doesn't stop me from wanting it so badly. As I walk in the hallways of school, or walk around malls, I cannot help but think, "Will he be in this room?" ; a clean slate, the...
A. 1 May 2012: I am 47.
Love is the most confusing wonderful thing in the world. You cannot seek it out, you cannot second guess it, you cannot over think it...
It just is...and it comes and finds you when you least expect it...this I know to be true.
You... (read in full...)
How can a person love another for so many years without changing or cheating or wanting something else?
Q. It is a long post, I hope you could be patient about me... any opinion would be appreciated!!! Recently I just got out of a horrible relationship of 3 years, I actually feel relieved and alive, although I feel unhappy for having to say goodbye t...
A. 1 May 2012: 'Personally I think I don't just get bored in a relationship, it's usually the guy disappointing me in the first place, then I feel it's unfair for me to put so much love for one guy... I might just be scared to love, and I get mad when he cannot ... (read in full...)
How can a person love another for so many years without changing or cheating or wanting something else?
Q. It is a long post, I hope you could be patient about me... any opinion would be appreciated!!! Recently I just got out of a horrible relationship of 3 years, I actually feel relieved and alive, although I feel unhappy for having to say goodbye t...
A. 1 May 2012: I read this...then read more and started to get a little bemused...then I read to the end and saw so many confusing hypocritical statements that you make about yourself and others and whilst it isn't my aim to put you down or to make you feel bad, ... (read in full...)
I know he is no good for me so we have broken up, but I need some support to stay strong and not falter on my course of action!
Q. im depressed. i am 42 years old and cant seem to maintain a relationship. i am my own worst critic, i just want to post this for support. i think im doing the right thing, but some reinforcement would be greatly appreciated. i met a man 8 months a...
A. 1 May 2012: good girl xx Don't forget to do something nice for yourself today because you are doing so great and you deserve it.
Many of us women are with you on that path today xxxxx... (read in full...)
Husband putting oral sex above everything else.
Q. My husband and I have been married for 6 years, our sex life has always been great, but lately I feel that I am nothing more than a mouth for him. He wants oral sex everyday, and though I dont mind it, it seems that he has no emotions about it, no ...
A. 1 May 2012: Ok I read your update!!! I don't know what to say to you because this situation you are in is so disgusting and unreasonable!!
I think the next time he demands...I'd be tempted to BITE!!!
He's an asshole and he's abusing you...save yours... (read in full...)
I feel miserable each time he uses the "open relationship" option I agreed to!
Q. I am a gay 24-year-old man who is in love with a wonderful man. We've been dating for three years now and have been living together for two. Last fall he approached me and told me that if I wasn't willing to open the relationship, it would be over ...
A. 1 May 2012: Closed...he's miserable
Open...you're miserable!!!
Somethings gotta give and he needs to learn that open relationships don't bring a whole lot of love and caring...they tend to generate mistrust and jealousy...so he's either completely c... (read in full...)
Husband putting oral sex above everything else.
Q. My husband and I have been married for 6 years, our sex life has always been great, but lately I feel that I am nothing more than a mouth for him. He wants oral sex everyday, and though I dont mind it, it seems that he has no emotions about it, no ...
A. 30 April 2012: I agree with Aunty Bim Bim...print this off and show him. It's appauling that he is treating you like some kind of 'on demand' sex machine and with no love and affection as part of the deal.
It;s majorly disrespectful and then acting like a total ... (read in full...)
I know he is no good for me so we have broken up, but I need some support to stay strong and not falter on my course of action!
Q. im depressed. i am 42 years old and cant seem to maintain a relationship. i am my own worst critic, i just want to post this for support. i think im doing the right thing, but some reinforcement would be greatly appreciated. i met a man 8 months a...
A. 30 April 2012: WOW!!!! seems like this guy is his own worst enemy...no wonder you feel so pushed out. There is just too much going on and even though the kids should come first, these are adults and should appreciate that he needs a little time for himself.
... (read in full...)
How do I break it off with her once and for all?
Q. This girl I have been talking to for over a year now, can be really great at times but she also can be very pessimistic and complain a lot. She's been through a lot in life so I always try to stay sympathetic, but it seems like there is something ...
A. 30 April 2012: People who threaten suicide when you say you want to break up with them are, quite frankly, a pain in the arse.
It's not only cruel to make these kinds of threats, it downright emotional blackmail and you have every right to want to get away.
... (read in full...)
Like a girl at work but she is seeing someone so I'd rather move on than be friends. So what is she doing now she claims she wants to go on another works night out soon?
Q. Hi, I really like one of my colleagues. I know this is not always a good idea, but I work in a big company and we don't work that closely together. We went out on a big works do a few weeks back and got on well but she went home early as she was ...
A. 30 April 2012: I think she was just being friendly. This one's a no brainer...she in a relationship, you need to forget her and move on.... (read in full...)
I know he is no good for me so we have broken up, but I need some support to stay strong and not falter on my course of action!
Q. im depressed. i am 42 years old and cant seem to maintain a relationship. i am my own worst critic, i just want to post this for support. i think im doing the right thing, but some reinforcement would be greatly appreciated. i met a man 8 months a...
A. 30 April 2012: You have my sympathy...it's hard when something ends.
I wonder if this guy is much younger than you. Just a few things you mentioned, him having room mates and the fact it all seems to be so casual for him??
It's hard to be single...and eve... (read in full...)
Why are some new fathers so selfish?
Q. Reading yet another question on here where a husband gets his wife pregnant and then doesn't even help out out at all. Why does this happen? She went through giving birth to his kid and ruining her body for him. He Also helped create the kid, so ...
A. 30 April 2012: Some men are just very selfish and don't want to be involved. They don't mind having sex, but when a baby is created, a lot of women discover they are very much on their own.
Of course Fathers SHOULD be there and help out (In a perfect world) b... (read in full...)
Crush on a guy who has a girlfriend...what should I do?
Q. I have a huge crush on this guy who has a girlfriend . Both him and me have been to the same VBS when we were kids and later after like 5 or 6 years we meet again at a friends place afterthat we met at tutuions after 2 years . And now he's in India ...
A. 30 April 2012: Avoid people who are in any kind of a relationship...things never work out. Stick to people who are single free and available.... (read in full...)
I ruined our anniversary because I was in a bad mood, how do I make it up to him?
Q. I have just ruined our dating anniversary by being in a mood all day, i tried to snap out of it but couldnt. I thought he was going to ask me to marry him but obviously he didnt, he doesnt realise thats why i was upset.He has always said he doesnt ...
A. 30 April 2012: The difference between men and women in an argument situation is that men can just pick up like nothing happened and carry on whereas women need some kind of resettlement, reassurance, redemption period so they feel secure enough to rekindle.
... (read in full...)
Love or Marriage? Which should I choose?
Q. I need advice: should I stay with my current boyfriend who I am totally in love with but he's six years younger and from a different world -- or find someone i can tolerate that is more serious, settled and ready for marriage? I'm going to b...
A. 30 April 2012: Hmmmm... now let me get this clear...
You love him but you know he will never marry you and eventually leave you?? Isn't that like saying
'I love standing on the free way...I know eventually I am going to get hit by a truck but I love it so muc... (read in full...)
How to make a girl leave her boyfriend for me?
Q. I met this girl and we talked for the day. We exchanged numbers and we have started to text each other frequently, she also enjoys my company and when i call her, but she has a boyfriend. I am trying my best to think of the best way to go through ...
A. 30 April 2012: Ok...you don't want to break up their relationship and you don't want to be relegated to the friends zone...
If I put that into my 'wishful thinking' calculator that comes out as 'I wish she didn't have a boyfriend and I wish she'd fall madly in... (read in full...)
Hungarian girl wanted me to 'sign documents' for her, I said no and she hasn't spoken to me since!
Q. I went for a drink with a Hungarian girl a couple of weeks ago, we went out, had a good time, I walked her back to her flat. We chat on Facebook Chat, everything was going well, until yesterday, when I got a Chat message asking if I could sign doc...
A. 30 April 2012: Friendship is fine but don't be a mug.
If she makes you feel special and needed then that is great but love is unconditional so if she begins again with the signing documents or asks you for money, I'd run.... (read in full...)
He only talks about his "feelings" for me when he's drunk!
Q. Hey, I really need some good advice, I'm really confused! I think I'm in love with my friend but I don't know if he feels the same, I have had sex with him a few times but we were drunk. But before we slept together we were always flirting with eac...
A. 30 April 2012: Yup a big mess...right?
Thing is, boys are pretty retarded when it comes to admitting feelings and getting involved. Basically this guy was a friend who turned into a friend with benefits, which isn't good.
The fact that he can only speak his t... (read in full...)
My Facebook friend is very secretive. Should I cut him loose?
Q. I met this guy through a facebook friend almost two years ago. We talk only through emails and text. I can say I fell for this man but now I want to let him go but everytime I try, I keep going back. When we first start emailing each other he seem ...
A. 30 April 2012: Don't beat yourself up...just expect more next time.
If you are dating someone you should be seeing them regularly and be able to speak to them when you want. You should be able to get to know someone really well and share time and space in the r... (read in full...)
My Facebook friend is very secretive. Should I cut him loose?
Q. I met this guy through a facebook friend almost two years ago. We talk only through emails and text. I can say I fell for this man but now I want to let him go but everytime I try, I keep going back. When we first start emailing each other he seem ...
A. 29 April 2012: What on earth makes you think he's a good guy???...he's an a$$hole who is lying to you and messing up your head.
Get rid of him, you deserve so much better!!!... (read in full...)
Man I'm dating won't sign divorce papers and lives in a house attached to his wife. Should I leave him?
Q. I've been dating this guy for 5 months now, he's been married 28 years but they decided over a year ago they were divorcing, they went to the mediator and settled it out of court. They have 4 kids together.. He has signed all assets over to her and ...
A. 29 April 2012: Sticky yucky mes...and, poor you are in the middle!!!
He isn't free, he isn't ready for a new relationship and keeoing you a secret is a shitty thing to do.
Tell him you are taking a big time out to date other people to see if you can find som... (read in full...)
My preacher boyfriend preaches, not talks to me and I don't like it!
Q. my boyfriend is a minister and a preacher, when i try to talk to him, he starts preach at me and a i do not like it. I know I am very confuced about getting married...
A. 29 April 2012: Preach back...fight fire with fire...but seriously...just talk to him and tell him to stop.... (read in full...)
I'm engaged. But should I act on my powerful crush I have with my co-worker?
Q. I have been working with this married woman for about two years. I'm engaged. There was an instant attraction. She is this sexy hipster with a really cute face and a hot body. We started texting and the texts became heated. We decided to pull bac...
A. 29 April 2012: No you shouldn't...but you probably will if you think you can get away with it.
My sympathies to your future wife.... (read in full...)
We're due to marry in November but I'm stressed about these issues
Q. I am supposed to be getting married in november. Me and my fiance have been together for almost 2years. We have had our differeces about many things but I am afraid that she will give up on me one day. The reasons are that I don't approve of the way ...
A. 29 April 2012: It just makes me laugh when people get into relationships. confess love and then go about trying to change their partner because they don't like the way they are.
Really you picked two big issues and neither of them is any of your business... (read in full...)
When and how do I fight to get him back?
Q. My boyfriend ended our relationship 2 days ago. He said it was because there can't be any future for us (he is from another country). He said he doesn't want to waste my time because I deserve someone who will take care of me. I am not looking for a ...
A. 28 April 2012: If you don't want a permanent relationship, maybe this is the perfect opportunity to tell your ex that you want to stay friends. That way, you can still see him and enjoy his company with out either of you being under pressure to continue with a ... (read in full...)
I'm upset by friend's affair and its making me question my marriage
Q. I'm not really looking for advice here, but I've got to write this because I can't talk about it to anyone. Everyone I know is too deeply involved. My wife and I have known this really nice couple for ages. They've been married for about twenty-f...
A. 28 April 2012: Your post poses an interesting view and I can see why seeing friends marriages fall apart can reflect on your own life.
Of course their marriage is different from your own and as you quite rightly state, nobody really knows what goes on behind c... (read in full...)
Is it normal for the person you are dating to tell you that they will always love their ex?
Q. Is it normal for a guy you're seeing to tell you they'll always love their ex? This ex was actually his first real love, and I'm the first person he's dating after he's been with her. I'm wondering if it's normal because the last guy I da...
A. 28 April 2012: Is it normal?...well maybe not normal and maybe not very nice too. Who needs to hear that their partner is pining for an ex?...none of us and your guy is being really insensitive by telling you. Ok he will say he is being honest (and he is) ... (read in full...)
After 18 years of marriage my husband told me about wanting a divorce through a solicitor and wont speak to me at all! How do I get through this?
Q. After 18 years of marriage and just 2 days before my 40th birthday I get an email from a solicitor to say my husband wants a divorce while I was away. We have had a rocky marriage for several years and I had gone away on a holiday, to encompass my ...
A. 27 April 2012: Find a solicitor who specializes in family law if you have kids. The process has begun and you have to get your head straight pretty quickly because there is a lot to do.
Priorities are roof, money and access for the kids.
If you have no kids... (read in full...)
I'm feeling hurt over a relationship that ex said he couldn't do anything about
Q. Dear Cupid, I was dating a man exclusively for almost 2 years. Early in our relationship he sent me an email breaking up for me and said he was going back to his ex girlfriend. Two weeks later I get another email asking me to give him a second c...
A. 26 April 2012: Hmmm you got played hunny!! Men like this are really clever and put just the right amount of pressure on to keep a woman hooked but never quite make the commitment phase...it's called having your cake and eating it. Trouble is you fall for these men ... (read in full...)
Am I getting into the wrong relationship?
Q. I am 10 months into a relationship after a painful divorce. My previous marriage consisted of 1 son and a step daughter. My girlfriend has 1 son and we get on. my main concern is my (ex) step daughter. My girlfriend is constantly telling me stop ...
A. 25 April 2012: Your step daughter was part of your life long before your new girlfriend came on the scene, so you should feel happy and comfortable continuing to see her. If your new girlfriend doesn't like it then perhaps she isn't the right person to be with.
... (read in full...)
I want to be FWB but he's pulling away!
Q. Me and this guy have been friends for a few months and after I left my most recent bf he wanted to hang out. I was hurt and upset and we had sex. After the first time he was super sweet and text me constantly. We went out for his brithday and had ...
A. 25 April 2012: If you seriously want FWB only then you need to get used to him only contacting you when he wants sex. The whole FWB deal does not come with love and affection and the attention part only comes when you are actually having sex with him. In fact the ... (read in full...)
Why doesn't my boyfriend acknowledge our relationship on his Facebook wall?
Q. Ok I've been dating my boyfriend for 5 months now I decided to change relationship status on facebook and tagged him to say its him I'm dating but even though he changed to say his in a relationship he has ignored my request.he also has deleted the ...
A. 25 April 2012: Some people just prefer their privacy. Personally I think the whole FB relationship thing is pretty banal. People fall in and out of relationships all the time and it can be pretty embarrassing to keep changing status. When you are out, do you wear ... (read in full...)
How do I move on from my married lover?
Q. Hi, I have been seeing a guy for 5 months and we had a fight thru text messaging. The guy is married and I am married but separated. One day I was upset with a family issue and after he had not call that morning which he normally does, I sent him a ...
A. 24 April 2012: I have to say on the face of things I don't think this man really gives a care about you and seems to have let you go very quickly at the first sign of trouble.
despite saying he loves you, he hasn't been in touch and that demonstrates that he ... (read in full...)
Hungarian girl wanted me to 'sign documents' for her, I said no and she hasn't spoken to me since!
Q. I went for a drink with a Hungarian girl a couple of weeks ago, we went out, had a good time, I walked her back to her flat. We chat on Facebook Chat, everything was going well, until yesterday, when I got a Chat message asking if I could sign doc...
A. 24 April 2012: Don't sign anything, you don't know what you might be getting into. Seems like this is one person you don't need it your life. It sounds very dodgy indeed.... (read in full...)
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
