A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm good at getting girls off and always been very confident about it. My new girlfriend acts just like the others getting closer and closer until its like she's about to orgasm when she pushes me away saying everything is too sensitive. I'm used to girls being too sensitive after they cum but not before! I'm getting really frustrated because I'm normally good at this and she's had other guys get her off in the past! Feeling pretty rubbish about myself, any help? Thanks
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female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (26 June 2013):
 Don't feel bad! Every woman is different, and some women are too sensitive from direct clitoral stimulation! Without phrasing the question "What did the other guys do to you that got you off?", ask her which techniques (make it about the techniques, not the people) were most pleasurable to her and resulted in orgasm. Also, if she's had an orgasm before, tell her to demonstrate to you or show you the speed, movements, technique, on what works for her.
One other thing, and this is more of a frame of mind thing -- you may have been adept at getting other women off, but never be confident that what works for women in the past will work for a woman in the future, because like I said, all women are different. There are those who hate breast stimulation, and those who can ONLY orgasm through simultaneous breast and clitoral stimulation. The moment you think you have it down is the moment some woman comes into your life to show you how much you don't know!
Try things you've never tried before. Read the Joy of Sex and the Art of Sensual Massage for some tips.
A
female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx +, writes (26 June 2013):
 I have had a similar problem with a boyfriend infact. I always liked to think I was reasonably okay at sex, and non of my previous boyfriends had ever complained. I had this one boyfriend however, who for some reason, just never...finished. We would try different things, and i'd always do what I could, but after hours sometimes...still nothing. It really damamged my confidence, as I felt the reason why, was because I just simply wasn't good enough. It would really put me off sex, and I felt really self conscious about it, so I do understand how you feel. However...its not the reason you aren't good enough, so please don't think like that. But believe it or not, for some women it can get WAY too sensitive, and it can be anytime during sex, before, after or during. Some women just don't really like the sensation and feel it to be more over-whelming or painful than erotic. Maybe try and look at what you are doing, maybe slowing down your speed or changing positions, could benefit her. Ask her and speak to her, what she doesn't like and how you could make things better for her. If for example sex is too sensitive for her, (it could be due to anything, especially if you are well endowed) try foreplay, you can satisfy her in that way and for her it might be a lot easier. Its proven that a very high percentage of women orgasm during foreplay, instead of during sex, so maybe have a little look into that. But anyway..back to the story...I spent all that time not feeling good enough...and the reason why he couldn't finish was because..he was a drummer so had a thing with endurance, and he was over-weight so found it hard to keep going before he got tired...and I spent all that time thinking it was me ;) Don't think badly of yourself..good luck, quack x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2013): It could be that you're trying too hard to make her cum, and that is making her sensitive. You may need to try something different. Don't feel too bad, sometimes you get used to something working, then you meet someone who's body is incompatible with your technique. That was my wife for me. It sucked! I still to this day (6 years together) have never made her come from oral, but for the most part that's because she's too sensitive to like me being down there.
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A
female
reader, smoteablesally  +, writes (26 June 2013):
 Every girl is different! What might have worked in the past for other women you slept with might not necessarily work for her. Similarly, her body responds and reacts to stimuli differently from others.I guess the most important key here is COMMUNICATION. You two should talk openly about what you both want, and how you both can be satisfied by one another sexually. Ask her, maybe even let her show you, what she enjoys in bed.Good thing, though, that you're deeply concerned about your girl's satisfaction. Lots of guys would just go through the wham-bam-thank you ma'am route. It shows that you aren't a selfish partner and that you actually care about how she feels, but I think you should take the worrying down a notch. ;)Good luck!
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