A
female
age
41-50,
*erseyncorbinsmommy
writes:Well hello I really need some help... I been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now and he has two kids with his ex wife... Things have been great with us and he has been there for me through everything... I love his children too...The day we buried my grandpa which was the 7th of Dec I had seen things on his phone that I didn't agree with... Him and his ex wife was sending kissy faces back and fourth and a lot of flirting ( I didn't go threw his phone) just seen when he would answer his texts...Well I confronted him and he told me he was gonna wait to tell me but since I brought it up... His ex has been telling him how she made a mistake and is still in love with him and how she should have never go remarried... Mind u they got divorced in march and she remarried in June.. But she wants her family with him back..So he told me that if by Jan 7th thins done change he is leaving me and going back with her... Mind u he chased her for two years after they split and all she did was play games and use him.. Now that he's happy she wants him back...He's okay with me most days then is very distant on others and now always hides his phone or texts her all the time but they use the excuse its about the kids..I don't wanna lose him and I want us to work but will never be second best to anyone... Help
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (23 December 2013):
 you can't lose what you don't have.... he's already gone honey... even if you do exactly what he wants, he's leaving January 7th. let him go now.
A
female
reader, KC12 +, writes (23 December 2013):
 Sorry, honey. It sounds like you were his rebound, and you have been his second choice since the beginning.
Kick him to the curb NOW, don't let him be the one to dictate when he leaves. Don't feel bad, and let yourself miss him because it's obvious he doesn't care about you.
Furthermore, make it hard on him! start treating him the way he's treated you. Tell him to GET OUT, and find someone else who gives YOU 100% of his time, love, and devotion.
He's the one who is a piece of crap, not you.
Good luck, getting rid of that scumbag.
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A
female
reader, Lieutenant  +, writes (22 December 2013):
If he's already told you that he's going back to her if things work out with them, you can't do anything about it but accept his decision. Quite frankly, even if something happens and his ex-wife decides she's changed her mind and doesn't want to get back with him, you're much better leaving him because you are not number one as it seems, and you probably never will be in his books.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (22 December 2013):
 unfortunately you already ARE second best to her. he made that clear when he said that he's going to leave you for her come the beginning of january as long as she still wants to. he's only hanging on to you in case she changes her mind. you are his safety net. he has made it very crystal clear that you are not his number one priority or pick compared to this woman. dump him. let him have her back. you don't need to wait around for a guy who makes you second best.
good luck.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (22 December 2013):
 You've already lost him. And a good thing too because the man is an absolute cad.Who tells someone they're leaving them on a specific date to go back to their ex? Either he's hoping you have a shred of self respect and will leave now or he actually expects you to hang about, like a nitwit, over the Christmas holidays with this axe hanging over your head.This is a terrible way to treat someone, but there is a silver lining here. This cretin is leaving you to go back to an ex who strung him along for two years, married someone else and now cheats on that person. The two of them are well suited to one another.If you have any common sense, any self respect at all, you will walk away now.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2013): If someone can even do this to you, your relationship is already on such shaky ground I wouldn't continue it, I advise you to break up with him. He is already cheating on you and if he has the gall to tell you there is a strong possibility he will leave you by a certain date then that's already done and made up in his mind so why wait? Why leave everything up to him to decide if this relationship continues or not? Move on, you only spent 6 months with him so its not much to walk away from. Basically in this script he and his ex have their own story going and you're just a side character in their ongoing drama. Don't be just a supporting cast for someone else's love story. Get out and write your own script where your relationship is front and center.
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A
female
reader, Brokenv +, writes (22 December 2013):
I'm sorry to say this but I would ask him to leave now. He told you a date that he is leaving. Tell him he has wasted your time long enough and you don't want to waste your time anymore. Respect yourself and love yourself enough to not be treated like a second class person. You deserve more than what you are getting.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (22 December 2013):
 That's disgusting. He's cheating on you, and the fact that it's with his ex is irrelevant. Just because she has a history with him doesn't mean that he has the right to treat you like this.
I'd make the decision myself and kick him to the curb if I were you. She married another man and is already cheating on him with your boyfriend, and your boyfriend is not only cheating on you with her, but helping her cheat on her new husband without a care about who they hurt with their actions.
You've already lost him. You and him will never work. You are second fiddle and will always remain that way until you leave him. There is no other outcome to this.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (22 December 2013):
 At the moment he IS treating you like second best, he is also cheating on you with his ex wife, whether they are having sex or not.
Tell him you want him to make up his mind NOW what he is going to do because you have no interest in waiting until 7 January.
If he choses her, then help him pack him bags and wish him luck, because oh boy, is he ever going to need it.
Don't be wishy washy, be firm, and if he leaves wipe him totally from your life, no texts, no emails, no messaging and no phone calls. You deserve much better than that!
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A
male
reader, M Proops +, writes (22 December 2013):
Looks like his wife has him dangling on the end of her string.Give him an ultimatum "you or her".She sounds a nasty piece of work to me.I don't think he'll commit to you to be honest.Find a fella with no baggage,he'll never desert his kids.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 December 2013):
 I would tell him to decide RIGHT now who he wants, and if he wants her, he needs to get the F out of the house ( if it is HIS place YOU need to find another place to stay).
YOU ARE playing second fiddle to her. He is JUST waiting for things to be the way HE wants it and he is gone. That speaks volumes about what he feels for you. YOU are a temporary person so he doesn't have to be on his own.
Wow. Just wow. Why are you setting for being a "substitute" or comfort blanket?
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