A
female
age
41-50,
*avannah76
writes:My issue is, I been together with my bf for over 2years now, but on and off. It's our first baby, i left him and get a new house where we can live with my baby. we have a big fight all the time,thats why i left . I gave him so many chances,to live with us again, he says he will change, but not. and he always asking money, its a big issue for him MONEY. even the money that helps from government for us,he wants to knows how much money i get and how much did i spend, every time, i run out of money he always says that." i think u send money back home. why we broke?" which not true. He's checking my account. or even my phone. Well, the other issue is his very addicted to his phone, 24/7 even. And he's not really obligated to help be with his kids every day. He doesn't care if I'm busy with his kids, but never get off off of his phone. He will move I'm if I'm really angry with the kids and banging the stuff.Now,he always says that i'm still married, and he's divorced. and dirty words against me. Actually i file the divorce long time ago but, he spent the money. So, I can't help it, I'm not that rich person, and HE NEVER EVER GIVE ME MONEY SINCE I KNOW HIM, Besides he's the one who's asking for money from me. And now, every time if we have a fight he always says that, you got money from government because of my 2 kids. He doesn't have decent job, he's carer of his mum. Anyway, last night we have a fight again because he said that I'm committed adultery, and said back to him, well, u spend the money for my divorce paper, and u still wear your wedding ring, as necklace chain. Sometimes, I was thinking that if my bf loves me or just using me. Till now, he's still in contact with his ex because their five kids. But, still I don't really like that he still wears his wedding ring on his body, and the ring is in my face every time we have sex. What can I do for this man? It's really hard my situation.anyway. Thanks you all guys for reading my story, and I really appreciate your advice. God bless you all:)
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divorce, his ex, money, wedding Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (16 December 2013):
 Are you crazy? This man is a dog.... has no apparent worth to you... and, there's no chance that he's advancing the human condition on Earth......
The only thing that YOU can - and should - do, is get as far away from this man as you can... do so quickly... and never look back.....
The only lives that should matter to you, are your's and your kids'..... There is no other room in your life to this creature...
Please come back with a re-submittal that sez that you have seen the light, and are continuing your life BY YOURSELF!!!!
Good luck....
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (16 December 2013):
The question you should ask yourself is why are you with him? What does he give you?
Don't mention love or anything I'm talking about more sensible things like happiness, he's supportive, he's good to you, he makes you feel beautiful, he provides for you and your family, etc.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (16 December 2013):
 To support him, you are pulling food, clothing, and necessities from your kid. To keep him in your house using you for money is hurting your child, money that could be dor Dr's appointments, better clothes, a little saved for catastrophes, all of that. He watches you like a hawk and treats you this way because he's scared you'll leave him and he'll be without support.
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A
female
reader, Caring Aunty A +, writes (16 December 2013):
 Savannah why is so difficult for you to see that this man is no good for you? Do you need it to be spelt out? Here are YOUR WORDS back at you so that you can reflect upon this at sometime, when you think; “…if my bf loves me or just using me.”
We have big fights all the time
He’s always asking for money
He's checking my account or even my phone
He’s not really obligated to help be with his kids every day
He doesn't care if I'm busy with his kids,
Never gets off his phone.
I filed the divorce long time ago but, he spent the money
HE NEVER EVER GIVEN ME MONEY SINCE I KNOW HIM
He’s the one who's asking for money from me.
He always says that, you got money from government because of my 2 kids.
He doesn't have decent job, he's carer of his mum.
He spent the money for my divorce paper
He’s still in contact with his ex because their FIVE KIDS!
He still wears his wedding ring on his body, and the ring is in my face every time we have sex.
He only pays the foods
He said he wouldn't leave as long as one of our kids put on his name.
What can I do for this man? YOU ANSWERED IT – “I wanna kick him out in MY HOUSE!”
Meanwhile I suggest not to be having sex with this man, you get the house keys back off him and his clothes out of your house, ring the housing commission to change the locks on your doors, file for A Domestic Violence Order if he does not leave you alone, call the Police to remove him if he makes trouble, and get yourself properly divorced!
http://www.familylawcourts.gov.au/wps/wcm/connect/FLC/Home/Forms/Do-it-yourself+kits/Application+for+Divorce+Kit
God Bless – CAA
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A
female
reader, like I see it +, writes (16 December 2013):
 If he is physically or verbally abusive to you or your child at any point please involve law enforcement. The police can help you with a restraining order that will not only get him out of your home but also force him to keep his distance from you.
Otherwise you may have to speak to a solicitor to learn your options in having him removed from the home, as laws concerning this will vary by country and state.
Best wishes.
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A
female
reader, Savannah76 +, writes (16 December 2013):
Savannah76 is verified as being by the original poster of the question I pay the rent,electricity,his phone my phone,etc. he only pays the foods because he doesn't get much money being a career of his mother, in shortly his reason is why do I have to pay the all bills coz all the money is goes into my acct. so, I can't win all all of these. I wanna kick him out in my house, but he said he wouldn't leave as long as one of our kids put on his name. What could i do? I think he just using me? And till now his wedding still around of his neck. Thanks for the opinion guys.. God bless xoxo :)
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A
female
reader, like I see it +, writes (16 December 2013):
Please leave this guy. You are way better off without him in your life.
He uses you for money. You've said it yourself, he's always asking you for money but has never had a cent to share with you. This isn't a one-time thing; it's a habit, and it says a lot about who he is as a person. This guy will be as financially dependent on you as you let him get away with, and he'll keep asking you for more and making you feel guilty about it. He's a grown man and it's not your responsibility to provide for him, ESPECIALLY when you're also paying for a house and caring for a young child.
He has an ex, five children with her, and baby mama drama that he clearly isn't over, or he wouldn't be WEARING HER RING while having sex with you. To that end I think the line from him about you not being divorced yet is a huge smoke screen. It's clear that the intent is there on your part to end your prior marriage if you had the money. The fact that he keeps coming back to it sounds like he's trying to deflect attention from his own shortcomings as a partner and put the blame back on you. Which begs the question... what is he trying to conceal here?
Short answer: he may be cheating on you. Seriously. The fact that he is always checking your phone and YOUR private accounts while being secretive about his own is a major red flag. People who cheat often become paranoid that their partner is cheating on *them*. People who cheat also tend to be very secretive about their phone, their e-mail, whatever method their "bit on the side" uses to get in touch with them. I've been cheated on and I've been cheated WITH and I'm saying this from personal experience. Sometimes when you love a person it's very hard to admit the signs to yourself as you see them happen. You don't accept the red flags until you've already been burned and you're looking BACK on the relationship with all the clarity that hindsight has to offer.
Given all the negatives you describe in your relationship I really don't see what you have to gain by staying with this man. Having a child with him does not mean you are forever obligated to put up with his crap. He does not sound like a hard worker, an honest person, a stable parent, or a reliable provider for baby #6. Leave him, save your money, get that divorce and date someone who loves you and treats you right.
Good luck and best wishes :)
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