A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I just found out that my boyfriend is friends with this girl who sleeps around with almost everyone !! He cheated on me before, although that was a year ago. We broke up and got back together, and now I'm afraid that he has or will do something with her. He knows I have issues trusting him but I don't want to read to much into anything. I don't know the closeness of his relationship with her at this moment and time I don't want to demand him to stop being friends with her especially if they barely talk or something so what do I do? I'm afraid .
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (14 December 2013):
 If your "relationship" is so fragile that you can write this submittal... then you need to maintain adequate distance between yourself and "B/F" ... such that you need not give a darn if he sleeps with/had sex with/performs oral for... this girl..... WAIT a while.... and things will make themself evident...
Good luck...
A
male
reader, M Proops  +, writes (14 December 2013):
If he's cheated before then his track record is not good.Keep an eye on him and if he does then show him the door.She could be an STD factory.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2013): If you breakup with someone and then you come back together, you are agreeing to start from a clean slate.You buried the hatchet along with the old relationship. Saying you have trust issues, after taking someone back you broke up with is illogical. It makes no sense at all. You are obviously not over the reason you broke up the first time. It is likely you will break up again.Trust is the glue that holds a relationship together.Did you tell him when you took him back; he shouldn't expect you to trust him? If you breakup up with someone; because you can't trust them, the intelligent thing to do is find someone else you can. Not take that person back and stand vigil over every move they make. The truth is, your trust was broken; and it will never come back, as far as he is concerned. Therefore; unless he feels trusted, he will breakup with you again. The rules are different when you breakup and you take him back. If you had never broke up; then you can set the condition to only remain; if that trust is repaired. Even then, you have to give that person the chance to redeem themselves.You are starting over in a new relationship. The old one is dead. That means you both started with a clean slate, no matter what either of you did. He can't just forgive you, and you not forgive him. How is that fair? Now you're setting conditions? Figure it out.It gets me how women get their information that another female is a sleep-around. Is there a "slutty-girl" reporting agency that you can subscribe too? I guarantee there is no female who sleeps around with almost everyone. These reputations are hard to live up to.It merely means, she likes sex and isn't prudish about it.The rumors and reputation is usually started by a guy who got rejected, or she cheated on; or the scorned girlfriend of a guy she slept with. Unless she is a very well-paid prostitute; she isn't sexing that many men all over town.You took him back. Now trust him. If you can't, breakup and find someone you can. If you can put your insecurities aside quick enough to take your ex-boyfriend back; be strong enough to put them aside and try to trust him.If she's his friend, you think she's a "slut" he's sleeping with on the side; and you don't like it. Leaving him is a good option. Surely you have solid evidence? Right?Why did you take him back in the first place?
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (14 December 2013):
 It all depends on HOW he is friends with her. If she works with him or is otherwise in your circle of friends that he comes in contact with, that's iffy, but I could understand.
However, if they're texting constantly, buying gifts, spending time, then no. And the BIG question is - is she an ex or did they have a thing or casual sex anytime in the past? Because that's an absolute no-no for a former cheater.
If you can't trust him, then you shouldn't be with him. If he's doing things to undermine your trust in him, then you shouldn't be with him.
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A
male
reader, devont +, writes (14 December 2013):
 I wouldn't worry too much about her, I'd worry about HIM. It is his choice if he cheats.
If they're not close, I wouldn't worry too much... But as he cheated before, he really should reassure you.
Understandably you have trouble trusting him... But if you want your relationship to work, you NEED to trust him. Try and be rational, if he has done nothing to make you worry and doesn't seem interested in her, then try not to think about it. But at the same don't be naive, keep your eyes open.
All the best
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (14 December 2013):
 OP ultimately it all comes down to one thing and that is, can you trust him, and more importantly, DO you trust him? Because there will always be some girl on the scene who will be a threat-a colleague, a co-worker, a friend, a friend's friend, that girl on the subway, the girl at the grocery store...there's endless possibilities. Do you get what I'm saying? If he has to cheat on you, he WILL. Not just with this one, but with anyone else. And if he's faithful to you, then he wont cheat on you with Miss World even if he had the opportunity.
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