A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone,I need a little help here... So I have this friend... he has told me he's been interested in me, but I have absolutely no interest in him whatsoever. I've made this clear to him, and he seems to be just fine with that. However, I've been having a problem with him continually spamming my wall. I feel bad that I'm reacting negatively to this, because most of the messages are really sweet and good natured. I'm just getting really irratated, because this obviously pushes down anything I post and might want others to see. The other problem is, I am currently interested in someone, and to an outsider (most importantly the guy I like), this excess of messages might look like he's being territorial or something... The other thing is, he likes and comments on absolutely everything I post, often "hijacking" the conversation and taking it totally off topic before anyone else can say anything.The most challenging part of this is that he is socially impaired, so his behaviour is not coming from a ill-intentioned place. He is my friend and I don't want to hurt his feelings, how do you think is the best way to approach the situation with him?Thanks for any input. :)
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female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (19 December 2013):
 Don't feel awful. You did the right thing, and hopefully when he's stopped being upset he will have learned something. He is not your responsbility, don't beat yourself up. He must have family who can help to steer him in the right direction, and presumably they are aware of his social impairment. It's nice of you to care about him, but don't worry excessively.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo I had a talk with him... I explained the situation with him as gently as possible, but he did not take it well. I feel awful, but I couldn't go on allowing him to make such inappropriate posts on my wall. I hope he will get over it in time... The fact that he would break down over a gentle push towards socially acceptable relations tells me he has problems beyond what I can help with.
Thanks for the responses. :)
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (16 December 2013):
 OP what you have to learn is HIS pain is not YOUR problem.
YOU can't live your life worrying about hurting others who are hurting you with their behavior.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (16 December 2013):
You could have a general talk about what is and isn't socially acceptable, and then bring up the FB stuff. If he doesn't know what is inappropriate, someone (unfortunately you by the sounds of it) needs to gently steer him in the right direction.
You could remove inappropriate comments or posts and explain why you've done it.
Good luck x
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (15 December 2013):
 Yep, you can put your settings to block this new guy who's interested in you from seeing your other friend's posts. Easy as pie.
Or, you can have the talk. You can't get around it if you don't want to go the block route. You could be doing him a favor too if he's socially awkward. Some people are just naturally oblivious, but are smart enough to take direction.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the responses.
I think my question is being misunderstood slightly... I have hid my posts from him, which has helped.
I am well aware that I need to tell him to stop. The thing is, I think save for one or two others, I may be his only friend in the world. So I'm asking what you think is the best way to go about this is, without totally crushing the poor guy.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (15 December 2013):
 The thing is because you DO NOT tell him to stop, and that's enough he won't stop. Or learn.
You can go the "hide his feed" or block him from posting, but IF he is a friend why can't you tell him? Hey, buddy you are going overboard on MY Facebook, please stop or I will have to de-friend or block you.
What are friends for? If he is socially impaired FIND a nicer way then I worded it and TEACH him what is appropriate.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (15 December 2013):
you can set it up so you can't see his posts on your wall or in your news feed... and that he can't post to it.
he won't even have to know he'll just wonder why you never say stuff to him any more.
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