A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I just got married after dating for 5 years. Due to having minor kids my divorce decree said I couldn't cohabit with anyone. My new husband understood that and supported me in getting married. It was a lovely short ceremony at his (now our) home with his parents, my 4 kids and 2 family friends. We will have full blown wedding wih rings and cake in May. I've told everyone and he's told no one, not even his 2 sisters. Is this normal or am I just being overly sensitive? It's his first marriage.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2014): His parents were there. Your children were there. Those are the most important people. He committed himself to your union in their precious presence. Don't let irrelevant things niggle you. I'm sure his sisters will find out at some point. Relax and enjoy your marriage.
A
female
reader, Brokenv  +, writes (4 January 2014):
I find it a bit odd that he hasn't told anyone BUT maybe his sisters do not have a close relationship. If I were to get married my whole family minus my 2 sisters would be invited. I'm not close to my 2 sisters but have a very close relationship with my 3 brothers.
Maybe he is waiting for the BIG ceremony in May to tell everyone. Maybe he doesn't feel this is his true wedding date.
It would be best to disgust this with him.
Congrats! and Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (3 January 2014):
 As his parents were present at the wedding and you have told 'everyone' - then his sisters will find out soon enough, if they haven't already.
I am surprised they weren't invited instead of using friends as witnesses or guests. Perhaps they aren't that close?
Anyway the thing is, you and he are married, that's great..don't worry about anything else and if you do, talk it over with your husband
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (3 January 2014):
 Even though I agree that you won't know the real story until you ask him, my guess is that his decision not to tell them yet until the "full" wedding in May is a good one!
It's a romantic thing to go to a wedding and witness "The moment". It's his first wedding, and his family want to share in "the moment" he no longer is single and becomes married. If he tells them he's already married, then what's the point in his mind of the full wedding?? Guys get into weddings too, not just women. You have been married once before and know what "the moment" feels like. He hasn't.
It's like going to the movies after reading spoilers, or watching TV after your buddy who's already watched it tells you what happens. It's just not as magical that way. You're telling everyone, and he wants his moment. I feel kinda bad that he's had to do it that way, but he made a selfless act doing it this way because of your divorce decree - you had a small wedding to fulfill the cohabitation clause to protect custody of your kids. You need to give him his "moment".
Please don't make it a fight. He's a good guy, and he loves you. Let him enjoy the anticipation until May so that his sisters and friends can get into the wedding and it will feel less like a show or a pantomime, but a real magical moment. Part of me wishes you had said much less to the people who weren't at your private legal ceremony. He really deserves his moment, and he gave it away for you. Give something to him now, and get excited for the people who will shed happy tears at the wedding in May, tears they would be robbed of if he told them in advance.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2014): You need to ask him this as all we can do is make assumptions and guesses. Yes perhaps he is worried about the terms if your divorce, maybe he feels he doesn't want to announce it until the "proper" wedding, seeing as this is his first marriage maybe he doesn't yet feel properly married until his had a more typical ceremony and day. The only way you'll know for sure is to ask him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2014): It's weird he hasn't told his own sisters. Maybe he misunderstood the terms of your divorce decree, thinking cohabitation includes a new husband. Maybe he thinks his sisters talk too much. He assumes word will spread on its own.
Why haven't you asked him? No one here knows what's happening in his mind.
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